From: (REMOVED)
To: april@aprilwinchell.com
Re: You CuteyApril,
ya gotta post some pics of yourself when you were younger. You had to have been a cutey. No I’m not a pervert. Just noticed your current facial features reveal you were a very attractive gal. It’d be nice to see.
Oh, I can’t tell you how flattering this was. Every woman wants to hear that she was most likely attractive at some point in her life. You can tell just by looking at her current facial features, sort of like looking at Ozymandias and gathering he had a nose many thousands of years ago.
Please write back soon and talk about my weight.





