April Winchell

As if reality television wasn’t already making you vomit:

LOS ANGELES, April 29, 2008 G4 is taking competitive eating competitions to the next level with a new series that combines speed-eating and intense physical challenges.

In each episode, five brave contestants attempt to consume the largest quantity of food in a short amount of time and are then immediately subjected to a series of challenges designed to make them “hurl”. The one to hold his or her food down the longest walks away with a cash prize, the Iron Stomach Award, and more importantly, serious bragging rights. The half-hour series, “Hurl!” premieres summer 2008 on G4.

The competition is made up of multiple stages, beginning with an intense eating contest. Contestants are challenged to consume a massive portion of some popular All-American favorite, as quickly as they can, with items ranging from chicken pot pies to New England chowder, fish sticks, hot dogs, blueberry pie, and more. Those who devour the largest quantity and keep everything down move on to the second stage where they must face nausea-inducing physical challenges, from carnival rides to belly flops off a high dive, to mechanical bull-riding.

The few remaining who have held on to their stomachs are forced back to the food table, where they must gorge an additional serving of a surprising new menu item. In a comedic and gag-inspiring display, the remaining few desperately try to prevent themselves from throwing up.

Viewers will laugh and cringe their way through the half-hour show as they witness the contestants who can no longer avoid the inevitable queasiness and the often messy celebrations of the new champions.

BULLSHIT ALERT

“G4’s mission is to be a multi-media destination that’s ‘relevant’ and ‘authentic’ to the interests of today’s young male demo,” said Neal Tiles, president, G4. “‘Hurl’ is really an idea that is inspired by the world of viral video which has proven to be massively popular with young guys today.”

Other Reality Shows in development inspired by the world of viral video:

1. The Search for America’s Next Top Girl Who Shits in a Cup and Then Another Girl Eats It
2. Celebrity Rick Rolling
3. Who Wants To Be a Morbidly Obese Teenager With Hot Pockets Under His Breasts
4. Korean Baby, You’ve Got Talent
5. Keeping Up With the Exploding Whales
6. Step it Up and Do the Thriller Dance with Filipino Prison Inmates
7. So You Think You Can Tase Me, Bro

For some bizarre reason, the comment feature on this site is screwed up. It only allows ten comments, and then it decides you’ve said enough.

I can only assume it’s talking to Pal Jacky.

In any event, we’re looking into it and we’ll do what we can.

In the meantime, here’s some exciting news!

People Magazine has named Rumer Willis one of the 100 Most Beautiful People in the World.

Miss Willis came in just behind La Pequeña.