April Winchell

Someone sent this to me today and it was all terribly exciting.

Apparently I have a Yahoo Club out there dedicated to my show. How about that? Hundreds of people all over this country, getting together to talk about me and my damned show.

Well, not hundreds of people, exactly. Right now there are 5 members. But you know, the longest journey, one step, mighty oaks, little acorns, etc., etc.

So I snooped around a little this morning, just out of curiosity. I had to know: who are these people?

One user profile revealed a man in Kansas (?) who has "recently gotten into swinging" with his wife. And in the words of Bryant Gumbel at the Survivor 2 Finale show, "We're left with more questions than answers".

I went to see Lord of the Rings last night.

I'm so pissed off.

What kind of a stupid ass ending is that? What the hell were they thinking?

Ok, granted, it's a continuing story, and they can't resolve everything or no one will go see "Fellowship 2: Beneath the Valley of The Shire", or "Rings 'n Things: The Hobbit Returns". But couldn't they have made the first film an actual, self-contained story with a satisfying ending?

I sat through 5 hours of Orcs and Jabberwocks and Nazgully Wiggly-Wraithes just to see Sam and Frodo head off in a little canoe together? What kind of crap is that?

Speaking of Frodo and Sam, I thought sensed some homoerotic overtones there. Sam was just a little too into Frodo. Especially in the canoe scene when I thought they were going to start making out.

Oh, I'm not making judgements, you understand. Nobody chooses to be a Hobbit; you're born that way. And if Sam's sword starts glowing when he gets around Frodo, well, that's their business. Just put some socks on first, because those feet are a real turn off.