April Winchell

I've been out of town since Monday afternoon. When I got home last night, I had 566 emails.

I thought I'd share some highlights with you today.

From the Mail Bag

Subject: They really do grow on trees!
From: (REMOVED)
To: april@aprilwinchell.com

April, you may have seen this one already- but if not, enjoy!

Subject: Photos
From: Kerry Christensen
To: april@kfi640.com

April,

Thought you would like to see a picture of me playing zither.

Have a great day.

Subject: missed you sunday
From: (REMOVED)
To: april@aprilwinchell.com

Congrats on moving to that coveted, prime 7-10 slot on Saturday night! Bet that took a few rolls on your program director's couch.

THAT'S your audience- shut-ins, loners and the brokenhearted. Who the hell else listens to am radio on Saturday night?

And a big thank you to KFI for making even harder to catch you. What, you couldn't get the graveyard shift?

Anyway, here's a new slogan for you…

"April Winchell- like Melinda Lee WITHOUT the good smell!"

Subject: wipe me again
From: (REMOVED)
To: wipeme@aprilwinchell.com

I only luv you and Nascar.

I want to marry you but I don't like sex.

Subject: elegant bag lady
From: (REMOVED)
To: april@kfi640.com

I saw this woman walking down the street. I grabbed my digtal and walked across the street pretending to take pictures of a house. I couldn't get her face, because some of my neighbors were outside and I didn't want them to know what I was doing. My husband thinks I'm sick.

Subject: Severed Penis
From: (REMOVED)
TO: april@aprilwinchell.com

A man and a woman were driving down the road and arguing about his deplorable infidelity. Suddenly the woman reaches over and slices the mans penis off. Angrily, she tosses it out the car window.

Driving behind the couple is a man and his 9 year old daughter. The little girl is just chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the penis smacks the pickup on the windshield, sticks for a moment, then flies off. Surprised, the daughter asks her father, "Daddy, what the heck was that?",

Not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replies, "It was only a bug, honey".

The daughter sits with a confused look on her face, and after a few minutes she says, "Sure had a big dick, didn't it?"