April Winchell

The Excitement is Building

Can you feel it? Can you feel that electricity in the air? It can only mean that the Pet Psychic, Sonya Fitzpatrick, will be on the show this Saturday to give my dog Woody a reading.

So many questions I can finally have answered! Why does Woody jump on the bed and start barking at 4:30 every afternoon? Why doesn't he like men with glasses? Why does he lick his ass on the couch? Well, because he can, I guess. I'm sure if my husband was limber enough, he'd do it too.

But Sonya will be sharing her insight with all my listener. that's right, you too can call in and ask about your own pets, and she'll give you a reading right over the phone. Think of her as Miss Cleo with ticks.

Now let's talke a look at another treat from this weeks bulging and engorged mail bag.

From the Mail Bag

Subject: OH MY GOD!!!
Date: Sun, 18 Aug 2002 20:58:09 -0700 (PDT)
From: (REMOVED)
To: april@aprilwinchell.com

Hi April,

I'm a new listener and you hit the spot for me on Saturday nights.

(So far so good.)

One thing though is the amount of time you spend mentioning and playing songs and bits about Jesus, the poor man from Nazareth, Yisrael. What's the point?

(Uh oh.)

Me, I'm Buddhist and I do see the humor in what Christian's have done to Jesus, not Jesus himself. I think many like you mistake the two. This is not about Judaism vs. christianity as my heritage is Jewish. Nor is my e mail about whether or not Jesus was the messiah or G-d incarnate.

(Ok, I give up. What the hell is your email about?)

Jesus was a peasant who said that we should help each other. What could be humorous about that?

(Where do I start?)

And I do believe that the modern christian church has perverted this man's teachings.

(Well no argument there. There's a lot of perverting going on in the modern church. Of course, it's all in the altar boys' changing room.)

Jesus said that we should want nothing more than our basic needs, and that when we seek more we tend to run over each other in our quest for material possessions.

(I assume you're talking about the time Hallee Berry ran over that woman at the liquor store. Don't you think God has forgiven her by now? After all, she opened the door for all light-skinned drunken hit and run drivers of color. Turn the other cheek and hit the anti-lock brakes, I always say.)

April, if I were strong enough to wake up each day and spend my day making sure that you had your basic needs met, and if you did the same for someone else, and they did like wise the world really would change, and we really would evolve to the next level. This love would spread like a mustard seed, the smallest of seeds yet grows to cover the garden.

That's just beautiful. I still have no idea what you're talking about, but I'm having it engraved on my watch.