April Winchell

I have seen it all

I've been getting a lot of email lately from people who dislike the Severed Penis Story of the Week.

Normally I would just ignore it, but these were intelligent, discerning people. Why they were listening to my show is beyond me. But that's not the point.

The point is, I had always thought it was clear that I was laughing at the absurdity of it; that something so bizarre happens with such regularity that I could do a weekly feature on it. There was never a political agenda or hidden message there. You have to have depth to have a hidden message, and that lets me out.

But to my shock and horror, the general consensus among those writing in was that I was laughing at the poor souls who had castrated themselves. That I was taking pleasure in men being emasculated. And that was really not my intention.

I took this criticism to heart, because I love men, and I love penises, and I love them together. So as of just a few weeks ago, I quietly ceased doing the Severed Penis Story of the week.

Today I got this email:

Subject: Save the SPS!
Date: Tue, 27 Aug 2002 16:34:06 -0700
From: (REMOVED)
To: The April Winchell Show

Hi April,

I started a petition for you to save the penis stories.

Thanks,

Bill from San Diego

How much do I love you people? That you would take time out of your day to start a petition to keep me doing weekly severed penis stories . . . it's touching, really.

Well, feel free to speak your mind on this important issue. I'm sure this is what our founding fathers had in mind when they were dying on bayonets in some freezing shithole.

God bless you all.