Alaska. Backity-back-back. Back as hell.
I don’t want to elaborate on my trip too much here, because then I’ll have even less to talk about on Saturday. If such a thing is possible.
Suffice it to say that I have seen more old people in the last two weeks than most physicians at Cedars Sinai see in a lifetime. It’s not often these days that I am the youngest person in the room, so that part was delightful.
It was all delightful, actually, except for the raging cold I now have. I picked up some kind of Klondike Rot that I haven’t been able to shake off yet, so I’ll be featuring a smokier, snottier vocal quality for you this Saturday. Sort of like Demi Moore on a respirator.
I’m not surprised that I got sick. When you think about it, cruise ships are kind of moving petrie dishes; warm, moist enclosed areas where all manner of germ can divide and conquer. Add to that the fact that I was in the snow and the wet for two weeks, and voila! You have the recipe for phlegm. Bam!
Anyway, I want to thank everyone who sent me nice welcome home emails and messages of longing while I was away. I missed you as well, and I’m so glad to be back, doing whatever it is I do.
Aids Walk
While I was gone, there was amazing progress on our Aids Walk fund raising!
Our team is still in the number one position for online fundraising, and you have put me in the number one position as an individual online fundraiser! Woo hoo!
We are just a few hundred dollars away from the halfway point of $10,000. And we only need five more walkers to reach our goal of 30. Aren’t there five more of you out there who want to wake up early on a Sunday and walk 6 miles with us?
No?
I don’t blame you. Just give me money then, and we’ll forget the whole thing
Now you may recall the special incentives I put out there a few weeks ago. I promised to record an outgoing message for anyone who raised $500 or more. So far, my best Friend Roy has raised $650, so I’m down for one message. And Stephen Moses is the next in line with $330!
I also promised that the person raising the most money over $1000 would get a special visit from me. I will personally come to your house and clean your bathroom bowl, while Schaef and Ramrod record the whole sordid event. We’ll then play clips on the show, and you can even call in and tell the audience how well I did. Imagine, your toilet immortalized on KFI. You know this is what Marconi was thinking when he put this whole radio thing together.
Anyway, Roy is getting very close to claiming that prize as well. Are you going to really let him have everything?
Make a donation right now. A lot of people need your help, and I really don’t want to clean Roy’s toilet.
I’m just saying.
