Oh Ye of Little Faith
I told you yesterday that Gelson's put bows on all their meat for Christmas, and some of you thought I was just being funny.
Well, you should know by now that I'm not funny. And I'm not about to start.
So as proof, I offer you this picture from my meat cam, showing the holiday presentation of the turkey breast we ate last night.
Granted, meat with a bow on it is not something you see everyday. And we may stand open mouthed at the meat counter, gazing at the bleeding roasts and seeping poultry covered with festive ribbons and wonder, "Has Gelson's gone too far?"
Of course, the answer is no. The truth is, they haven't gone far enough.
Think about it. Wouldn't the world be so much more lovely and warm durng the holidays if we put bows on everything?
How happy you would be to have your period if your favorite tampon came gaily wrapped in ribbons, with a candy cane attached. Diarrhea would go from nuisanace to holiday pastime if Immodium came with a teddy bear that said, "I Wuv U This Much". And if Coca-Cola has the Santa Packs, I see no reason why Frosty shouldn't adorn Sterno, the apperitif preferred by people who live under the freeway.
I have more ideas, but I'm saving them for my book.
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