April Winchell

You Asked For It

All right, you win.

In repsonse to your requests, and your insistence that you would actually buy such a thing, I have decided to have my shows digitally remastered and burned onto CDs.

I am going to start with 4 shows. Since each hour of the show is about 44 minutes without commercials, and since you can't get more than about 78 minutes on a CD, I decided to burn each hour separately. So one show will be a 3 CD set. I'll also autograph each one, which will automatically reduce its value.

The shows will be available to buy individually, or you can buy them as a set. I call it, "Volume I". It's just so exciting isn't it? And as always, a portion of the proceeds will go to Project Angel Food.

Now the question is, which four shows?

I would be very grateful if you would send me your opinions on this. I want to offer you the ones you want, so you'll buy them like you promised, and I don't wind up with 400 shows in my garage that I paid for with my last credit card and did I mention I have no job?

Please email me with your picks! The whole thing should take a few weeks after I choose the shows, so your prompt input would be most appreciated. After all, I want them to be ready for the Passover rush.

Now, I'm sure that some of you are wondering why I've suddenly decided to go forward with this. As you know, I have been very reluctant to get involved in making CDs. I just didn't know if they would be good enough.

But then Shatner announced he was making a new album. And Kevin Spacey is singing with Elton John. And I thought, "If one more non-singer comes out with a vanity CD, then it's a sign from on high that I should make one too."

And that's when I saw this:

You Stryker, You Brought Her

All right, I'm not going to lie to you. I know who Jeff Stryker is. I didn't just fall off the lube truck.

I've even seen some of his films. I remember one in particular where he had kind of a special moment with a leather jacket. I've never really been comfortable using coat check rooms since then.

Yes, I'm a big fan of Jeff's, and I bet Kevin Spacey is too. But that's hardly the point.

Anyway, for those of you who missed some of his more seminal works, I should point out that Jeff Stryker is primarily a gay porn star. But don't let the star of "Powertool" and "Cummin' Together" fool you. He has other talents.

He sings.

And he doesn't sing about just anything. Because Jeff is an artist. And an artist always sings about what he knows.

And so my friends, I would like to present you with this track that I found last night. Jeff Stryker's country ode to anal sex, "Pop You in the Pooper".

I'm sure you'll enjoy it, though the track cuts out rather abruptly after the climax. But then, that's so Jeff, isn't it?