April Winchell

Friday Brown Bag of Crap

Grab your Immodium kids, because here comes a big old Friday pile! All the garbage accumulated during the week, saved in a comedy bucket under my desk, and slopped onto a virtual cafeteria tray for your consumption.

Brown or green? Hell, have both!

The Appetizer

Speaking of crap, there seemed to be a preponderence of scat-themed emails from you this week.

Some of you wrote to share similar stories of Mexican tourism ("Did the hotel allow you to flush toilet paper down the toilet? If so, you were in a real high class place").

Some of you had lovely web-sites to share.

And some of you just had heartwarming stories like this one:

"It was early Sunday morning when I went to the Laundromat. There was just me and a Geezer in there at the time. He walks by me, and says to no one in particular how he really needs to use the bathroom, which is locked. I tell him to go to the grocery store, which is 60 feet away. He proceeds to look in the trash cans, and pulls out an extra large detergent box. He then goes back in the corner, squats down, and takes a dump in the box. Fortunately he took the box and put it in the trunk of his car when he was done. So, April, in light of your wonderful recent vacation experience you might want to start carrying a folded up empty box in your purse, or at least some plastic bags".

Thanks a load!

The Entree

ASSORTED EMAIL

Subject: An Evening with George Zimmer and Leonard Nimoy
Date: Wed, 7 May 2003 21:48:01 -0700
From: Tom (REMOVED)
To: april@aprilwinchell.com

If you're in San Francisco on June 7th and have nothing to do . . .

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Subject: Baghdad Bob and Jerry Mahoney
Date: Tue, 6 May 2003 20:11:51 -0700
From: Deborah
To: (REMOVED)
To: april@aprilwinchell.com

I found this photo on a website dedicated to Baghdad Bob. Don't ask why I was searching the web tonight for Baghdad Bob because I really don't have an answer other than it is so damn boring in North San Diego County that one has to find some kind of entertainment.

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Subject: The Subway-Grand Forks connection
Date: Sun, 27 Apr 2003 14:08:55 -0700
From: Stephanie (REMOVED)
To: april@aprilwinchell.com

Subway plays a large part in the lives of those who live in Grand Forks, North Dakota. First It's Jared, and his promotional tour (he got to drop a puck at the hockey game) and now Subway is the choice singles meeting spot. Especially for those who didn't get to prom.

Ahh…to be young and in love in North Dakota.

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Subject: Ghet-TOES
Date: Fri, 2 May 2003 15:37:46 -0700
From: Chris (REMOVED)
To: april@aprilwinchell.com

Forget Tivo. This is the kind of email I get.

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And for Dessert . . .

The delicious Roger has kindly edited the last two Mr. KABC shows for your dining and dancing pleasure. I should have them up in the archives this weekend.