April Winchell

Black Monday

Well, it's finally here. Tomorrow I will lose my internet connection for at least a few weeks.

It's been harder and harder to update the site, as you have probably been able to surmise by the infrequent posting over the last few weeks. The construction is happening right outside the office, and it's so loud I can't sit here very long. Starting tomorrow, this room will be unusable, as an entire wall is coming down.

Some of you have written with suggestions, like I buy a lap top or rent an office. As much as I would like to shell out thousands of dollars to update a web site that generates no income, I find myself still partially in touch with reality, making that impossible. And for the compassionate few who suggest I go to the library, I would like to remind you that I have no car, because my lease ran out last month. And to the man who suggested I get on a bus to go to the libray to update the web site, well, all I can say is, eat me.

So there you have it.

Actually, I'm not all that upset by the prospect of being offline. I think it will be an interesting experiment, since I've spent so much time online for the last few years. I hear they have things like sunshine now.

I can only imagine that my experiences in the real world will make me more interesting. God knows they can't make me duller.

I'll be on with Mr. KABC twice a month, from 9:00 to midnight, where I'll be reporting on my forays into society. While I'll be email free for a while, you can write to me in care of Mr. KABC, and you can even send stuff to the station.

Well! Here I go. Dear God, I feel like Grizzy Adams or something. Like some kind of Little House on the Prairie motherfucker. I think I'll go churn my own butter. And I don't mean it that way, so just stop it.

But before I go, Mr. KABC was kind enough to scan the photo I gave him on the show last week. It's that lovely souvenir shot with the wax statue of Sarah Michelle Gellar at Madame Tussaud's in Las Vegas. See if you can guess which one is me.

Ok, now I'm really going.