Happy 4th
If I could have one wish, it would be that you have a safe and sane 4th of July.
Well, if I had two wishes, I'd wish that. If I only had one wish, it would be winning the lottery while being serviced by Hugh Jackman.
In any case, I do want you to be safe. So here are a few guidelines for holiday behavior.
April's Tips For a Safe and Sane 4th
1. If you're drinking, don't drive. If you do drive and you get pulled over, don't do this.
2. Show your spirit. I myself bought a toe ring yesterday to wear with my sandals.
To be fair, this probably had less to do with the holiday than with a temporary lapse of sanity. I don't know what I was thinking. I actually went into one of those accessory places in the mall where they sell wrist bands and pierce your ears. Three bucks later, I'm Avril Lavigne.
3. Don't stop at your body. Dress your home with tasteful symbols of patriotism.
4. Enjoy all American entertainment. Like the two new shows in the Audio archives. The May and June shows with M. KABC are now online. American comedy, made by American people.
Speaking of Mr. KABC, he sent me this photograph today, which he took during last Friday's show. You'll see I'm proudly holding the "Dr. Laura" game I brought him, as well as wearing a price tag from Mr. K's beloved 99¢ Store on my collar.
Have a happy holiday!
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