April Winchell

A Special Day

It's time once again for a massive update, the likes of which one rarely sees on largely content-free sites such as this.

As is my custom, I am today posting the MP3s I played on the Mr. KABC show last night. I primarily do this to assure you that you really did hear these things, and you were not hallucinating.

And speaking of Mr. KABC, I would just like to go on record as saying that he is absolutely the best sport ever, considering how badly I behave whenever I'm on his show.

I don't know if that kiss will get as much media attention as Britney's and Madonna's, but I'm scanning the trades today for any mention. So far I don't see anything, but it is a holiday weekend.

New MP3s

First up on the carousel of crap, a beautiful rendition of Olympia's Doll Song from Tales of Hoffman. This particular version is performed by Orriel Smith, who clucks like a chicken throughout. I can't defend it, so please don't ask.

Next, we have a pair of covers. The first, a fantastically terrible polka-style take on Teen Spirit, is by someone whose name escapes me for the moment, but I'm guessing that English is a second language. The other is a stellar lounge cover of Don't Fear The Reaper by Prozak for Lovers.

Now we have a trio of tunes which form the cornerstone of my newest collecting obsession: Songs About Illnesses. My goal is to eventually have the world's largest collection of songs about illnesses, although with three, I may already be there.

Please elevate your feet and enjoy the haunting Pulmonary Hypertension Song, the Brechtian VD Song and the timely MDA song; the happiest thirty seconds about Muscular Dystrophy you'll hear all year.

Next, from the inexplicable CD, "Panpipes Play The Bee Gees", here's a troubling cover of Staying Alive.

Someone had to actually make charts for this, hire musicians, go into the studio, commit this to tape, edit and mix it and do everything else necessary to get this on the market. Somewhere, enough people thought this was a good enough idea to make it happen, and I think that's a more eloquent argument for forced sterilzation that I could ever make. Party on, Zamfir.

Finally, because I love you, here's the bouncy Broadway show tune, What is This Thing Called Amway, and the absolutely terrifying studio outtakes of Sylvester Stallone attempting to record a little ditty called Comin' Down With A Bad Case Of Love.

There you are. A labor of love for labor day.