April Winchell

Hello, Illinois!

I'm going to be on WNTA Radio in Illinois this afternoon, from 2:00 to 3:00 p.m. PST.

Apparently somone over there thought my web site would be an interesting hour of radio, if only to make people in Illinois feel better about their own lives.

I'm so excited, I can barely stand it. Think of all those new people coming to my site, and reveling in the magic that is a bitter, unemployed actress in Los Angeles. You don't get that in DeKalb, I can tell you that right now.

I thought briefly about tidying up the site a little, hiding the porn, that sort of thing. The kind of stuff you do when company's coming. But then I thought about just how much there is on this site that I'm embarassed by, and I decided it would be a better use of my time to smoke a cigarette and eat low carb ice cream. So don't tell me I don't have my priorities straight.

So if you've come here by way of Illinois, let me show you around a little.

This is my Multimedia section, where you'll find such treasures as Leonard Nimoy's power ballads and Farrah Fawcett singing in French. Take your time.

I've also got hundreds of hours of archived shows, so you can hear for yourself why I got shit canned from the second largest radio market in the United States.

If it all seems a little daunting, you might need a buddy. I suggest you drop in on the April Winchell Group on Yahoo . Those people are all seasoned vets, and can tell you exactly what to avoid.

Sushi Party

You may have noticed the sushi party on my Whoring page. Let me just tell you what that's all about.

I am danergously close to reaching 1% of my goal. I anticipate being at $10,000 by the end of July, which astonishes me. $10,000 in two months, selling crap out of my garage and begging for handouts. I should do an infommercial. Me on a boat with a bunch of guys in speedos, drinking champagne and eating pork rinds.

Well, maybe later. But right now, I'm having a party.

On July 24th, I'm having a sushi party at a restaurant in downtown Los Angeles. I can't tell you where it is, because then people would crash the party, and that's not going to work. But I will tell you that it is an excellent place, and I eat there a lot. It was written up in Los Angeles Magazine and everything.

This is a 5 course meal, and we have the whole back patio to ourselves. We can smoke and drink and throw up on each other, and by God, I hope we do.

I have persuaded Mr. KABC to attend, so we've got that going for us. I'm still working on Doug McIntyre, but since you can smoke, I think he's a good bet.

The cost is $75 a person, which sounds a little steep, but the profits will go to Project Angel Food, so you can write most of it off. And there are goody bags for all of you, with a retail value of $1.49. So you know it's classy.

There are only 20 or so places available at this point, so I'd encourage you to buy your tickets soon. It's a small gathering, so we'll have plenty of opportunity to schmooze and misbehave, and if all goes well, get arrested.

I hope to see you there!