April Winchell

I don't think I'm spilling any beans by saying that I don't much care for people. By and large, I look at the general population as annoying, and I think the expression on my face throughout the day makes that pretty clear.

So it always surprises me when people see something benevolent in me. If I were someone else (and don't think that's not one of my fantasies) and I saw me, I would run in the other direction.

But lately people have been prevailing upon me to dole out random acts of kindness. Strangely enough, I have been only too happy to oblige.

The other day I was on my cell phone outside the dentist's office, when an elderly lady came and sat next to me, staring at me intently. When I got off the phone, she asked me if I was going downstairs.

I told her I wasn't, but then I heard myself asking her if she needed me to. I don't know why I asked that. Maybe I'm just so exhausted at this point that I didn't have the energy to beat her senseless with her own walker.

She then proceeded to tell me that she had shingles, and the medication she was taking made her claustrophobic. She asked me if I would ride down in the elevator with her.

Now normally, I like to think that my reaction to an elderly person with a highly infectious skin condition would be feigning an inability to speak english. But like the good little droid I am, I immediately rose to my feet and escorted the scabby vixen to the lobby.

Maybe I'm just getting soft in my old age. Maybe I'm starting to see the value in embracing my fellow man. Or maybe it's just that I'm getting laid.

Whatever it is, it's scary as hell.