April Winchell

The Pukes of Hazzard

I was on the treadmill at the gym today, and to alleviate the boredom, I watched a little of "Behind the Scenes: The Dukes of Hazzard" on VH1.

To be sure, this is a complex work of cinema, so the idea that one would actually want to go behind the scenes is something I can understand. After all, I think everyone has an interest in Johnny Knoxville's take on film making, especially after having seen his work in "Life Without Dick".

During the interview segment with Mr. Knoxville, he observed of Jessica Simpson's work as Daisy Duke, "She really nailed the character", which made me spit Crystal Geyser all over my towel. I think he meant to say, "She nailed everyone on the set", but the bright lights may have disoriented him.

Things really took a turn for the worse when they interviewed Ms. Simpson, who had this to say of her experience:

"Daisy Duke inspired me to be a better woman."

Two quick questions here.

1. What the fuck?

and

2. Huh?

So if someone could get back to me with answers to either of those, that would be great.

I shared this with my friend John this afternoon, who told me he saw a clip where Jessica described Daisy Duke as "iconish". So we've got that going for us.

I also learned some other interesting tidbits about Jessica yesterday, thanks to my friend Gina in Boston. Gina pointed me to this article, which outlines Jessica's newest ambition: to do missionary work and adopt a Third World child, just like her hero, Angelina Jolie. No word if she'll wear Nick Lachey's blood in a vial around her neck (though I hear Bam Margera gave her a pearl necklace).

I don't mean to sound cynical. Really, I think it's a grand idea. Hopefully the child will have her mom's giant cans, so Joe Simpson can get her an album deal too. I'm pretty sure they have lip synching in Cambodia, so that should work out for everyone.

Last Night's Mystery Guest

Last night, Mr. KABC brought in another special Mystery Guest for our bi-monthly game of What's My Line.

As you recall, our last guest was the bangin' Jonathan Antin, so I wasn't expecting much this time around, despite Mr. K's boasts that he had snagged another big name.

Imagine my delight when the guest turned out to be none other than Bruce Jenner! It would have been enough to have basked in the company of a man who did a movie with The Village People, but the excitement reached a fever pitch when he revealed that he had once starred in a production of "Lil Abner"! Stop it!

No really. Please. Stop.

Despite the fact that Mr. K and I both brought cameras to the show last night, neither one of them seemed to be working. I can only assume that Bruce Jenner's awesome powers of the undead kicked in to overdrive, rendering photographic equipment useless.

I did manage to outsmart him by using my camera phone, so I do have some proof that the whole event actually transpired. Good thing too, because who would have believed it otherwise?

And Most Importantly . . .

Longtime ex-listener Melissa sends this link that made me laugh out loud for several minutes.

It won't be amusing if you can't hear the accompanying music track, so have your volume up.