April Winchell

Gland Ho

Well, here I am. Another day older and deeper in debt. Plus I don't have a thyroid anymore.

Yes friends, I have survived. I am foot loose and cancer free. They got it all, and they didn't have to dig around with a melon baller, looking for other crap to take out.There is some bad news though. I am sorry to report that I still have my voice, and will continue to work in radio. What can I say? You gotta take the good with the bad.

I'm hoping to be on with Mr. KABC this Friday night, so I don't want to tell you all of my hilarious anecdotes right now. You have to save a little something for later, as my mother used to tell me in high school.

But I will tell you this story, because even I couldn't believe it.

I was lying on a gurney, waiting for my turn, and not handling the stress very well. I was scheduled to have my operation at 9:00, but by noon I was still in line. Apparently I had been "bumped", which I didn't think was possible in a hospital, but apparently it is.

At first I thought perhaps a bigger name had come in. I was sort of hoping it might be Sean Hannity, finally completing his male to female transition, but it turned out to just be some guy who got stabbed in the neck. Asshole.

Suddenly the curtain was pulled back, and a nurse stood there, staring at me.

"Are you the April Winchell?", she asked.

I had to reply that I was, most likely the April Winchell she was thinking of.

She was thrilled. She drew the curtain around us and stepped closer. She leaned over, and in hushed tones asked, "What's Rob Marinko really like?"