April Winchell

My African orphan dolls are getting a lot of attention!

Last night, my friend Gina tipped me to this:

And just a few minutes later, I happened to notice this:

Then this morning, I got an email from Way Out Auctions, telling me that I was the number one featured auction today!

Here are some other sites mentioning the auctions:

Bayraider

Tech Digest

Spin Starts Here

Reality Rant

Add that to my appearance on KABC last night, and we're looking at an incredible amount of hits on these auctions. Everyone is looking at these guys. People from all over the world. Thousands of them!

And no one is buying them.

What the fuck is up with that?

First of all, they're cute. That cannot be denied. Even I can see they're cute . . . in a developmentally disabled sort of way. I am the first to admit that my sewing projects look like something Rosie O'Donnell was doing on the bus with her sister, and these are no exception.

Secondly, they're cheap! $20? Come on! Where are the people who were fighting it out over a yellow fleece dinosaur a few weeks ago? That thing went for over $80! And poor little Chinwendu and Onyekachukwu are just languishing over on eBay, waiting for someone famous to clam them and force them into a Jewish religious studies program. Won't you be that racially insensitive narcissist?

And third, the profits benefit Toys For Tots. The money you give me for these shitty toys will go towards the purchase of good toys for needy and deserving American children. I think that's a good thing.

Besides, if you don't buy them, I won't have the money to buy real toys, and I'll have donate these dolls to Toys For Tots. Do you really want to do that to an already underprivileged child this Christmas? Merry Christmas little Jimmy, here's an African Orphan doll some nut job in L.A. made? Don't cry, it was on Gawker!

Live with that, why don't you?<

Whatever. It's on your head.