All right, not really. But I do have pepper spray.
Is this the best thing you’ve heard in years, or what?
This woman was in such a hurry to hack up Coleen Shipman and put her in Hefty bags, she wore diapers so she wouldn’t have to stop the car. Now that’s thinking ahead.
You might say she was on a mission. Heh.
See, she was looking for her challenger, and…
But then the police looked in her car and made the discovery and…
Yeah.
When i first heard about the diaper business, I was dumbstruck. But it got even more surreal when the reporter said that this was “something she borrowed from her astronaut training.” Apparently, astronauts wear diapers upon re-entry, which means that while you’re watching the splendor of the space shuttle gracefully setting back on the earth’s surface, the men and women inside the capsule are shitting themselves. Just spraying the insides of those silver suits with pureed pot roast in a squeezey tube. I don’t know about you, but that really takes the bloom off the rose for me.
Before I move on from that lovely image, let me leave you with an ad accompanying the story Philadelphia Times Web site:
I would say, in this particular case… yes. Yes, she was.
In other news, I was the featured “20 Questions”geek on Fishbowl yesterday.
By the way, this is the personal hygiene product I talk about in this piece.
