April Winchell

NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J.- More than a week after they were thrust into the middle of a national debate spurred by derogatory comments by Don Imus, the Rutgers University women’s basketball team on Friday said it has accepted his apology.

The team met with Imus for three hours on Thursday night at the governor’s mansion in Princeton, shortly after Imus was fired from his radio show by CBS.

A person who attended the meeting, who spoke on condition of anonymity, told The Associated Press that coach Stringer opened the meeting with a statement, and was followed by Imus.

After the meeting, the team voted on whether or not to accept Imus’ apology.

“We are in the process of forgiving,” Stringer read from a team statement Friday.

Isn’t that beautiful? God’s love is everywhere!

I am reminded of Mathew 6:14-15:

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you put it to a vote and the majority isn’t into it… fuck it.

Compassion by committee. It’s just another wonderful lesson these women have received in the last week or so. How blessed they were to have so many eager teachers!

Bloated weather clown Al Roker, for example. He taught them that change comes from without. If it is to be… it’s up to you.

He also taught them that at the end of the day, a black woman’s self worth is in the hands of some old white guy you never heard of.

That was a hard lesson! Fortunately, Coach Stringer reinforced it again and again. Imus “had stolen their dreams”, “taken their joy” and “robbed them of their dignity”.

Eventually, it took!

What a proud moment when player Matee Ajavon said, “I think that this has scarred me for life.” If I were entrusted to help shape a young woman’s sense of self, that’s exactly what I’d like her to say about a joke she didn’t hear on the radio.

And there were more teachers with more lessons, lining up to burden them with a humiliation that should have never been theirs.

Oh sure, Imus did his part. But it takes a village to turn winners into victims.

And they were winners. Before Obama and Oprah and other opportunists started force feeding degradation to these girls, they were role models. Strong, brave, hard working athletes, who had struggled to succeed in a male dominated sport. They were fighters, tough girls who had demanded - and earned - respect and dignity.

Can you imagine then, what their response would have been if they were left to their own devices?

I can.

They would have told us, in no uncertain terms, that they couldn’t care less.

They would have told us that they knew who they were, and nobody was going to take anything away from them. They would have reminded all the young, impressionable women watching them, that words have no power unless we give them power. They would have been heroes.

And they would have probably even reminded us that they did not win the championship, and that the media circus was robbing Tennessee of their moment in the sun.

I really believe that. I believe, before they were co-opted by media jackals and race baiters, that this is what was in their hearts.

But they didn’t get the chance to speak for themselves. Important people got involved, and told the world how weak they were.

And that’s when they lost their dignity.

I keep thinking about something Vivian Stringer said in one of her many television appearances over the last few weeks, as she slowly morphed into Cicely Tyson:

“…not only did (Imus) steal our dream, he hurt our character.”

Well, I’ll meet you halfway, Viv. Your character has definitely taken a hit. But you can’t lay that on Imus.

Imus hurt his own character. You did the rest. You, and anyone else who convinced those women to give up their self-esteem. You did real harm.

But at least they didn’t leave empty handed, right?

There were press conferences, photo opportunities, trips, meetings with government leaders and a guest shot on Oprah! And don’t think it’s over yet!

I predict the cover of People will be next, an endorsement deal with Black and Lovely Hair Products, shooting hoops with Leno and the feel-good-movie-of-the-year:

I come away from this with a few lessons of my own:

1. It’s very dangerous to be human. Human beings make mistakes, and mistakes are not forgiven until you’ve been completely humiliated and destroyed. And even then, it has to pass a vote.
2. Some words are inherently racist. No matter what context you put them in, they will always be offensive. Unless you’re Snoop, because then we’re talking about ho’s that’s in the ‘hood that ain’t doing shit, that’s trying to get a nigga for his money.
3. Racial division is created and encouraged by the very people who claim to be fighting it, because they’re the ones who profit. They’ll throw a whole basketball team under the bus if it means 10 minutes on Hannity.
4. Black or white, Maya Angelou sucks.

I’m not happy about any of this, believe me. I hate hypocrisy, and I’m angrier and more disappointed in the media than I have been in a long time.

But I’m in the process of forgiving.