Is it Friday already? Again?
Didn’t we just do this?
Well, all right. Let’s open up this sack and let it breathe a little, shall we?
WHAT’S IN THE SACK THIS WEEK:
- New Mp3
- Celebrity Lookalike
- Pray for better spelling
- Huffington find
- Rainbows are pretty!
NEW MP3:
My new MySpace friend (who goes by the name Moisture) sent me a treasure this week. Just an absolute gem, and I couldn’t be happier to pass it on to you.
Here’s Andy Williams singing in Japanese for Aji-No-Moto (MSG!).
And if you’d like to get the full flavor of this East meets Branson experience, here’s side one of the picture disc.
Oh what the hell. I’ll even throw in side two, although I didn’t upload that track. It’s just The Hawaiian Wedding Song, and I didn’t see the point. Plus it was getting a little too multi-cultural in here and I was feeling queasy. There’s such a thing as being too diverse, I always say.
CELEBRITY LOOKALIKE:
If you’re anything like me, and don’t care that you’re clearly too old to be on MySpace, you’ve no doubt seen this ad:
Yes, it’s another hi-larious bit of tomfoolery from the fun-loving spamtards at Classmates.com! Man, I just can’t keep up with those guys. She married him? LOL!
But there was something about this one that was driving me crazy. Who does that girl look like?
No, not the one on the left. She looks like Catherine Zeta Jones, I think that’s obvious.
The one on the right. Who is that?
I mean, I had to black out the tooth, but still.
PRAY FOR BETTER SPELLING:
I’ve been finding a lot of these lately. Christian-themed sparkly gifs with spelling errors.
I mean, do you know how much work it is to make one of those things? You have to duplicate the image over and over again to make frames, because it’s basically animation. So you’re (sorry - your) looking at it for hours. So how does this happen?
I’ll tell you how.
Someone isn’t praying hard enough.
HUFFINGTON FIND:
Speaking of thougths and praerys, I call this a sack of crap for a reason.
Every week, I come across something that I mean to pass along to you, the loyal reader. And I put these bits and pieces of comedy offal in a folder on my desktop, and there they sit until I finally get off my lazy ass and try to cobble it all together into something resembling content.
So there are some things in that folder that have aged, and not all of them have aged well. But this, well, this is timeless. And I have to thank Senator Larry “Tap Dogs” Craig for making it all relevant again.
Here is a snapshot of the front page of The Huffington Post several months ago, when the Ted Haggard story broke. I just happened to go to there at that moment in time, and I had to capture this for you.
And finally…
RAINBOWS ARE PRETTY
One of the things I love about MySpace are the interesting people you meat.
Well, that’s it for me. I’m going to have a nice holiday weekend now, and I’ve got a lot planned.
I don’t want to make you jealous, but I’ll be picking up dog shit. That’s key. Then I’ll be looking at Jerry Lewis’ giant, misshapen head at 3:00 in the morning, and wondering what happened to Shields and Yarnell.
And I’ll be missing John Foley.
17 responses so far ↓
1 jim // Aug 31, 2007 at 1:12 pm
Unrequited love & puppy-turds, such an aptly matched duo, huh? You’ll wonder if there’s an echo in there.
SOY SAUCE rates its own anthem now … & a picture disc TOO - so I’ll have to mention it tonite to my lard & savuir Jeuss Chirst in my payrers!
Double-bag that new idiot - he’s a dribbler!
2 Syr Paine // Aug 31, 2007 at 1:57 pm
I ain’t goin’ to rehab, no no no…
Not without my umber-ella ella ella la la
Pass the booze
3 Annemarie // Aug 31, 2007 at 2:43 pm
Let’s face it, when they talk about the BOOK it ain’t Webster’s
4 katzinoire // Aug 31, 2007 at 4:49 pm
Well, John may be gone for the weekend, but you do have splendid company in Mackie! I think the Christian mis-spellings are such to the believers of the mindset that “spell check” is da’ DEVIL!! See, Ted Haggard can’t have all the fun. And if it makes you feel better, I too am on shit detail for a dog (I watch my friend’s pup every weekend when she goes to work at the New York Ren Fest).
5 a-big-throng // Aug 31, 2007 at 5:45 pm
Is Burning man is turning into a sack O’ crap? first the arson now this! Will John give us an update?
“I would describe the scene as kind of surreal,” Skinner said. “ It was one of those scenes that was out of place.”
Skinner was at the tent and said it was being used by party goers. It appeared they were holding a Burning Man version of the game show Jeopardy in there, Skinner said.
oh my god!
6 wills7577 // Aug 31, 2007 at 5:55 pm
Is John still leering at patchouli scented, dirty hippy tits and eating hot pockets? I thought you once said that he was a conservative (at least a financial conservative). Isn’t “Burning Man” an odd place for a conservative?
Regardless of his political leanings, he is still yummy to look (judging from the pictures you have posted) and, by all you descriptions, a great guy… but “Burning Man”? Really? I guess that some people really do have more than 2 dimensions.
7 steve // Aug 31, 2007 at 8:14 pm
It’s not directly related, but I received this from Hostway.com billing today after complaining that my account was suspended due to a credit card expiration date change. They didn’t call, they didn’t write, and email is the only way I can communicate with them. Apparently, “there” grasp of communication (and punctuation) is more… creative than most people who finished 4th grade. I copied this exactly as it was sent to me, and I should also add that the rep didn’t answer my questions; only my complaint about a lack of phone support was addressed:
Dear Mr.xxxxxxx,
We apologize you feel this way , you have access to your site control any time a day to make what ever necessary billing payments that need to be made you are also able to print and view your invoices, we also allow our customers two months to make payments on there account before suspension occurs.
8 Taro Tokyo // Sep 1, 2007 at 3:47 am
That Aji-No-Moto (meaning the ‘essence of taste’) is not “Soy Sauce.” It’s actually a white powder, MSG, aka monosodium glutamate, meaning the essence brain death, hee, hee.
–Taro news3yen.com
9 April // Sep 1, 2007 at 9:19 am
Ooops. You’re right. It even says that in the email Mr. Moisture sent with the mp3. I guess I just didn’t want to believe it.
10 a-big-throng // Sep 1, 2007 at 12:45 pm
What will April do if John comes back looking like this?
11 a-big-throng // Sep 1, 2007 at 2:21 pm
Thank you for the edit April!
Awwwww… BABY, your the greatest!
12 haineux // Sep 3, 2007 at 11:57 pm
That is spectacular Industrial Music. (I’m still getting over the fact that WFMU posted the ENTIRE “Got to Investigate Silicones” musical http://blog.wfmu.org/freeform/2007/02/365_days_50_gen.html — but this is pretty special)
13 pal Jacky // Sep 5, 2007 at 6:15 pm
Who needed burning man with meltdown man , Jerry Lewis, on the tube. I wish I was watching it with Phyllis diller.
14 DavidinBerkeley // Sep 8, 2007 at 5:35 pm
I hear there are 3 kinds of straight guys who go to Burning Man, namely ones who:
* Bring huge, wild sculptures
* Wear weird costumes
* Make out with other straight guys
Which one is John Foley?
15 pal Jacky // Sep 8, 2007 at 8:00 pm
I kind of thought this too, but then I realized that most of my information of Burning Man I got from an episode of ‘Reno 911′ . Three of the guys get(junior, dangle and travis’ get all decked out in weird costumes to go undercover, but never actually get there. It was during the first season, so it was pretty funny.
16 John Foley // Sep 8, 2007 at 8:32 pm
@DavidinBerkeley
HEY!! I’m the second kind!
17 DavidinBerkeley // Sep 9, 2007 at 3:16 pm
JF: Thanks for the clarification. You’ll have to ask Ms. Winchell to post pictures of your costume.
I’m grateful you’re not the 3rd kind. Straight guys making out is kinda painful to watch, even in stills. (Gay guys, on the other hand, actually know what they’re doing…)
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