From: (REMOVED)
Subject: “Japanese people are …. crazy”
Date: September 14, 2007 11:42:29 AM PDT
Dear April,
Just a short note to tell you that in fact the people in the video are speaking Cantonese. My wife is from HK, so I recognize it. I can see that the Hello Kitty would make you think Japan, but in fact it is very popular in Hong Kong.
16 responses so far ↓
1 John Foley // Sep 14, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Can’t we all just agree that the entire Asian sub-continent is out of its goddamn mind? Is that really so hard?
2 jandu // Sep 14, 2007 at 4:40 pm
Isn’t Japan IN Hong Kong? Jesus. And….what “HK” is he talking about? Hong Kong, or Hello Kitty? Whatever….they can’t drive worth shit
3 pal Jacky // Sep 14, 2007 at 10:03 pm
Their driving does suck and they teach it to their young . I used to have to travel to Koreatown once a week and there is a driving school with korean lettering on the cars. I’d see their blinkers expecting them to turn and get behind them. I fell for it every time. There are nuances between the races. For instance, Koreans smell like Garlic and ass because of their diet and hygene. On a one to one leverl, The Japanese are the least offensive of the bunch, this due perhaps to their fondness for ritual suicide.
4 April // Sep 14, 2007 at 11:11 pm
Pal Jacky, this is for you.
5 pal Jacky // Sep 15, 2007 at 2:41 pm
What’s that picture from. ‘top chef=Shanghia’? When I was at school in the early eighties a resturant in San Francisco’s chinatown was closed for serving stray cat meat for their duck dishes. That’s offensive.
Korean food also smells like garlic and ass. I haven’t figured out whether or not this is due to the ingredients or the evolutionary bypasses that are cooking it. They pour coca-cola on their meat and serve their cabbage in a state of putridfication. Kim Chee does have one thing going for it. If your ever in a food fight. You’ll win if you’ve got it. It flings like wet paper towels and it easier to get a skunk stink off the body . The clothes have to be thrown away unless ones entire social calendar consists of going to Korean ‘hostess’ bars where it’ll make the women swoon almost as much as a platinum master card.
6 Shannon // Sep 15, 2007 at 8:45 pm
Okay pal Jacky, I have one better than Kim Chee and ass. We were at Warner Springs ranch and after a long day of horseback riding and then a little “bareback” riding we went down to the olympic-sized mineral baths. After navigating the terrain we arrived at the sulpher laden mineral pools only to be greeted by a large contingent of Koreans having some sort of family reunion. As they bar-be-cued their Kim Chee (no shit) their garlic farts bubbled up through the sulpher springs.
I was drunk when I wrote this. Life is good.
7 jandu // Sep 15, 2007 at 9:30 pm
Ok, A couple of things….I’d like to list them:
1. Had I known a prize was available I would have been more offensive. PERIOD. (so not fair)
2. I ate-out a girl once, her last name was Kim, does that count. (Maybe is was Park…whatever) talk about garlic and ass……shit.
3. Barebacking at Warner Springs Ranch rocks!!!!!
4. Life IS good when you’re drunk, I just stomped dead another box of Franzia, then kicked it across the room (It hit my sleeping brother)
8 pal Jacky // Sep 15, 2007 at 9:51 pm
Hey, I didn’t know their was a contest either. I wouldn’t have held back. I welcome the competition. Let’ s vie for October’s prize, shall we. Shannon proves a valuble point. When you are talking about Koreans it always comes back to Garlic and ass. The question remains, was this really a ’sulpher’ mineral bath, or had the Koreans just been in a regular mineral bath for a while? Of course, those guys do love the smell of rotten eggs. It reminds them of their childbirth.
9 jandu // Sep 15, 2007 at 9:59 pm
I just laughed so hard that I spit good Franzia out. It’s you and me in October….we’ll exchange offensive jabs. I’ll bring the metals chairs and the fake blood, you provide the fat referee, closeted gay coach, and white trash audience.
10 pal Jacky // Sep 16, 2007 at 10:04 am
Sorry folks, I cringed too when I saw ‘their’ at the beginning of my last post. I meant ‘thier’ (’I’ before ‘E’.. ) . Good thing a new Dane Cook movie is opening up. He drives the white trash women wild. I’ll just commandeer an audience of this cinematic piece of shit and I’m sure they’ll be at least one closet case in the bunch.
As for koreans, I think I should say a few nice things. First of all, finding a wife at a korean hostess bar seems expensive at first with the 200 dollar bottles of champagne to keep them rubbing your dick for a while and all. But it is cheaper than a mail order bride. Furthermore, her father is probably the guy who sold you the Korbetts.
Then there is their cooking. It’s important to allow a korean to come inot your kitchen and cook you a meal. Of course, the stench will waft through the entire house, however, its cheaper than an exterminator.
11 nwrt // Sep 16, 2007 at 4:33 pm
pal Jacky, I don’t think it’s the Koreans who are filling the air with ferment–I think it’s your attempts at humor. I mean, the first post was award graphic-worthy just as a shocking non sequitur but now it’s just getting redundant. I mean, how many permutations of “garlic and ass” can we pile on in a single Brazilian pubic strip of the Interweb?
Korean’s stink. We got it. Move on, yo.
I don’t mean to shut you down, but it just goes to show that it takes skills to be offensive and witty at the same time, like April and her boy John (up top). In comedy as in kimchi, a little goes a long way, baby.
12 jim // Sep 16, 2007 at 8:14 pm
A wee anecdote, cliched yet real.
As a child, the one local Chinese restaurant was closed for serving cat-balls, sweet-&-sour cat, cat chow mein, & other such magnificent traditional cat-cuisine … about 3 or 4 times. Loved those cat-balls as a kid – oh, if you’re curious, they totally rule with sweet-&-sour sauce … just for the record.
I think folks just pretty well had a laugh about it, but put up with it because the other fare in town was limited, & often not as tasty.
BON APPETIT!
13 pal Jacky // Sep 17, 2007 at 11:51 am
nwrt,
you haven’t actually inhaled next to a korean have you? If you had you would realize instead of thinking that I have been verbose, I’ve been rather restrained. If you want funny, show me how its done will you, since your such a big expert. If not, please next time you see my name. Skip the post. Thank you. PS a little kim Chee is still too much.
14 jandu // Sep 17, 2007 at 3:15 pm
Jac…..you go girl (Or if you’re a man, I……you get it) Anywhoo, I’ll bet nwrt IS IN FACT KOREAN, and is insulted by your “ass and garlic” comments. I say keep it comin’ girl..(boy)? I think it’s funny as hell. You won the fucking award!! Eat that nwrt……………..
15 pal Jacky // Sep 17, 2007 at 4:50 pm
Thanks jandu, I am a dude, for now. it is kind of hard to take anyone too seriously when they think ‘garlic and ass’ is a non-sequitur when dealing with koreans. Hell, I wasn’t the one who posted about ‘garlic farts’. Furthermore, feed anybody a few cloves of garlic and something that’ll churn up the gas and anybody will smell like ‘garlic and ass’ . To quote the great Bill Griffith’s ‘zippy the pinhead’ “life is just a blur of republicans and meat’. That is a real non-sequitur. PS BG’s Zippy made Bartlett’s quotations with his often stolen question ‘Are we having fun yet?’ For those who think that it was first said by opus the penguin.
16 Stretch // Sep 19, 2007 at 3:24 pm
Happy “Speak like a Pirate Day” mateys!
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