Oh, I am blessed. I am. Really.
First of all, there’s the raging nastiness going on in the comments on my last posting. That just makes me so happy, I can’t tell you. I always wanted a site where people baited each other with racially insensitive comments, and now I have it. In spades, so to speak.
So thank you for that, and I’m being sincere. Because apart from bukkake, nothing makes a site more successful than reflexive hostility. Just ask Ariana Huffington. Yes, I’m just sitting back, waiting for the ads from MoveOn.org to start rolling in.
And while I’m counting my blessings, thank you, dear anonymous reader, for signing me up for Anne Coulter’s newsletter. I was too proud to do it myself.
Thank you to Otis Fodder, who featured me on the stellar WFMU blog last week as part of his 365 Days Project. Somehow the whole thing got past me and I didn’t mention it here, which I damn well should have. So please do me a favor, and go take a look at the posting he was kind enough to do. He features several tracks of my dad’s that you can’t get anywhere else, unless you go to eBay and outbid that creepy guy with the bucktoothed puppet.
And really, you should be familiar witthe WFMU blog anyway, because they make my humble approach to bad music collecting look like the pathetic work of the weekender I really am.
Speaking of bad music, thanks to longtime ex-listener Tom, who sent me an mp3 this morning that defies description. It is very nearly the jewel in the crown, and will definitely be taking a spot on my Top Ten Favorite Tracks list in the MP3 library.
But you can’t hear it yet.
You’ll have to wait to hear it . . .
ON THE RADIO
Yes, I am on the radio not only this Sunday, but next Sunday as well! Another blessing! Well, for me, anyway.
I’ll be filling in on KTLK from 2:00 - 4:00, and since it’s Yom Kippur, I’ll be doing something ham-related, just to piss off the tribe.
And in a week or two, I’ll be shooting four commercials for Big Bear Mountain resorts, which I’ve written with Mick. I’ll be appearing in them too, on camera no less, with a very funny man named Steve Morris. If you live in Southern California or San Diego, you’ll be seeing them on TV, but I’ll upload them when I get my hands on them, so you can see them wherever you are. I’m very excited about these, I think they’re going to be really, really funny.
And finally, I have now archived OVER 100 shows, which alone is mind-boggling, but it gets even better.
I have unearthed at least 6 shows, some as far back as 2001, that have never been archived before! So unless you were one of my 6 listeners that particular day, you never heard these. Isn’t that fantastic? I actually have lost episodes!
I’ll be uploading them later today, and I’ll do an update when they’re ready for downloading. I’m not going to even screen them first to see how bad they are. And they have to be bad or I wouldn’t have hidden them.
I guess we’ll all be scared together.
Praise Jesus!
27 responses so far ↓
1 John Foley // Sep 17, 2007 at 12:59 pm
FIRST!
2 John Foley // Sep 17, 2007 at 1:00 pm
I just wanted to be like all the other message boards.
It was me that signed you up for Ann Coulter’s updates. I knew you just needed a kick in the pants.
3 jim // Sep 17, 2007 at 3:49 pm
Thanks John — ahh, one less denial! BOOYAH!
May the mighty radio archives swell like summer roadkill.
But in a nice way, if that’s how you roll.
Also congratulations on more resort ads, live reporter on the scene!
One assumes these updates are in regard to whether Ms. Coulter’s septum is still intact after the requisite Kilimanjaro of high-octane crank needed to maintain her trademark pause-rictus. Or, or, or, or so I, I , I, uh, I, I huh, I, you know.
Those wacky intellectuals!
4 pal Jacky // Sep 17, 2007 at 5:01 pm
my favorite thing about Ann Coulter is that some people think she is doing satire along the lines of Jonathan Swift. Anyone who thinks that needs to read JS”s ‘a modest proposal’ If the they read it and still think Ann Coulter is satire, they need our prayers.
5 pal Jacky // Sep 17, 2007 at 7:02 pm
Speaking of nipping things in the bud, I better ‘fess up that besides’ non-sequiturs’ I can go into a hissy fit over people mixing up ’satire’and ‘parody’ . Of course, I am at my worst when I try to examine the question: Does ‘ South park’ follow the concept of Brecht’s didactic ‘epic theater’ or did they come to the same conclusions by themselves. For instance, Brecht insisted on cheap, badly made sets so the audience never truly could suspend disbelief. This sounds like construction paper cartman to me.
Bill Lukesh
6 jandu // Sep 17, 2007 at 8:57 pm
Wow…I understood the nipple part, but I’m lost on the rest. Diabetic theater? Huh.
I saw a piece of crap Jodie Foster movie today, then went to Taco Bell and had 3 Mexi-melts and a large Coke.
7 Gina // Sep 17, 2007 at 11:18 pm
Seventh!!
8 John Foley // Sep 18, 2007 at 10:43 am
1876, a young girl named Jenn was walking down a river, an insane man killed her by stabbing her in the back, raping her, and then hanging her in his closet. While he hanged her he said Bukakke Bukkake.
Now that you have read this message, she will find you and her dead body will haunt your house for 5 years. Every night you go to sleep she will appear in your closet, hanging their with her glowing red eyes.
repost 3 times to be saved
And…
Find a hot date at >>>> FLINGDATINGSITE dot COM
9 pal Jacky // Sep 18, 2007 at 11:30 am
The sad thing about that Jodie foster film was that it was the better of the two remakes of ‘death wish’ this summer. The first had Kevin Bacon. Don’t you hate it when your watching a film and twenty minutes into it you it really know it just won’t get any better however , you just keep watching hoping that it is gonna’ get worse and become amusing on that level.
10 DavidinBerkeley // Sep 18, 2007 at 2:51 pm
I’m going to try to re-rail the chat here by saying that I have an episode that predates the archives, too. I call it “The Burning Dog Rectum” episode since Ms. Winchell refers to one at a certain point. (No, really.)
I wonder if this will be one that Ms. Winchell has located.
11 Stretch // Sep 18, 2007 at 5:13 pm
Coming in from left field:
***UPDATE****
Mary Louise Parker has joined the Madonna-Jolie club and has adopted her own African orphan. Obviously Black is the new black…
12 pal Jacky // Sep 18, 2007 at 7:02 pm
sorry about the lameness of my last post. hopefully this will clear my name. Jandu, were you constipated? That is really the only time I ever go to taco bell or as I call it ‘Mex Lax’. I haven’t had that problem for a while. I think its the glut of ads for the new patricia Heaton/kelsey grammer show. It is not like a have to take a shit after a see a commercial. However, I’m sure that is what is keeping things flowing smoothly. Those two self-rightious carbunkles in the same series. yuk
13 Doug // Sep 19, 2007 at 6:48 am
John, how brightly do her eyes glow? Are they bright enough that I could leave the closet door open and use her for a night light? Pitch dark scares my daughter. For that matter, would she be in MY closet? Or would she mind haunting my daughter’s closet? She really couldn’t be of help to my daughter if she were in MY closet, now would she?
Would she mind haunting my dark room during the day? That way I could develop photos and not have to bother to turn off the red light when I was done. No power bill for it, too!
I wonder if she’d mind being cloned…I can see a whole market for her services. But wait, that’s just the greed talking. Nevermind.
14 Doug // Sep 19, 2007 at 6:49 am
P.S. - Anyone know how to clone a dead body?
15 jandu // Sep 19, 2007 at 2:06 pm
Sure……
Dye her hair blonde and give her a new sit-com with Kelsey Grammer. That’s how they cloned her the last time
16 pal Jacky // Sep 19, 2007 at 5:39 pm
That’s a terrible thing to say about a closet ghost. Everyone knows Patricia Heaton was formed when her father, Heinrich himmler ejaculated into a river of snot. right after her mother Marget Thatcher menstraited an egg into it. She was one of twins, the other being Dr. Laura. Many biblical scholars argue which of the two will be the ‘holy Whore’ as foretold in the book of Revelations now that we are entering in end times.
17 steve // Sep 19, 2007 at 7:31 pm
why is anything having to do with OJ Simpson considered “news” these days? is there nothing actually fucking important going on, anywhere, to anyone, so that we have to broadcast Simpson’s walk from the car to the courthouse on CNN?
and a personal note to pal Jacky: I want whatever you’re taking.
18 wills7577 // Sep 20, 2007 at 6:58 am
I can’t believe that april has yet to comment on this crime against humanity. Who told Julie Taymor that just because she had moderate success making puppet shows out of Disney musicals, she could smear feces all over the Beatles catalog and get away with it?
19 Brandex // Sep 20, 2007 at 9:39 am
Oh my God, I was watching America’s Next Top Model last night and they had a black chick named Spontaniouse on the show. She wasn’t picked, but damn, that’s the best ghetto name ever. I bet her mother’s name is Predictaboulle.
20 Stretch // Sep 20, 2007 at 10:02 am
I still say a rep I spoke to at United Healthcare wins the Ghetto name award: Aqua Netta
21 steve // Sep 20, 2007 at 10:51 am
my checkout girl at Walmart the other day was named Croatia. no lie.
22 jandu // Sep 20, 2007 at 11:28 am
I was at WalMart and the black woman behind me called her daughter INFLUENZA. I gasped. Then this woman said to her daughter “I have two words for you…. BEHAVE!” the funny thing was, she said it like it was two words.
23 John Foley // Sep 20, 2007 at 12:03 pm
@wills7577
I’m guessing you weren’t a big fan of Julie Taymor’s attempt to do Shakespeare, either?
24 DavidinBerkeley // Sep 20, 2007 at 12:36 pm
Wow. This chat has so-totally left the topics that Ms. Winchell started. I’m going to have to take away five points from EVERYBODY for this.
Sorry.
25 pal Jacky // Sep 20, 2007 at 1:41 pm
most people don’t realize that Patricia Heaton’s diet consists mainly of Muslim babies. This was first documented when she was the youngest member of the manson family. The barbeques Charley’s angels had on spahn ranch. Furthermore, she was the one who shot John Lennon. The MK Ultra project was only able to brain wash people to think they pulled the trigger, so they had others actually do it. She blew John Hinckley the day before his assassin attempt on Reagan as a favor for Neil Bush.
26 pal Jacky // Sep 20, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Let’s not be so racially insensitive, white names can be funny too. Take tyne Daly. Who named her after a prong on a fork? Worse than that is Carnie wilson. If she was hispanic, I would understand naming her ‘meat’ , but in English its just too Tod Browning. The worst though is Condolleza Rice. My god, that’s just too close to Condolance for my tastes.
27 Shannon // Sep 20, 2007 at 9:23 pm
There is so much here I fear to begin.
But let’s start with the dog farts that have brought me here to post. Perhaps it’s the name Sully. We have a Sully who has the ability to wake us from the deepest of slumbers with not just farts you can smell but I swear to God, you can see. It’s an oily smoky film in the air right as you wake up, but before you can reassure your spouse that you did not dealt it even though you smelt it.
Then there is the issue of pal Jacky. Yes, I too wish for what ever he (I assume male) is smoking. I haven’t been that f**kin’ high in years. Plus, smart guys make me so horny.
By the way Woody’s farts, our other dog, don’t smell but when he does fart he turns back to look at hid ass as if he is thinking, Wha dat?
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