Has anybody heard anything about the miners?
It occurred to me that they stopped reporting that story a while ago, and I never heard anything about the outcome.
I mean it’s obvious what the outcome is, of course. It’s not a cliffhanger at this point. Unless there’s an underground city with a Norm’s and a Kaiser Permanente, I think we all know these guys are mining heavenly ore for the Lord.
But don’t you think it’s weird that it just stopped being news? I mean, did they ever even find their bodies?
These are the things I think about in the wee small hours, as I lie in bed beside my beloved John, trying to ignore Sully’s horrendous farts.
Seriously, that dog can fart. I thought Mac’s farts were bad, but that little guy can clear a room.
And I’ll tell you all about it on Sunday, when I fill in at KTLK from 2:00 to 4:00!
And if that’s not enough (and it never is with you people), wait until you hear my rollicking tale about losing my shit during an MRI and screaming until they let me out of the machine.
And in other news, Chris Crocker, the idiot with the weeping Britney Spears defense on YouTube last week, HAS A DEVELOPMENT DEAL.
So he’ll be having brunch at the Viceroy with his manager on Sunday, and I’ll be in Burbank, talking about dog farts and panic attacks on AM radio.
Life may not be fair, but at least I saw Andy Milonakis at Target today.
18 responses so far ↓
1 pal Jacky // Sep 20, 2007 at 9:23 pm
The miner thing kind of died down after three rescuers got killed. Adding to the death toll didn’t look to good for the company. On the same subject, did you know that snot women like P. Heaton, Dr. Laura and Leona Helmsey are living infections? As of such, they have an extraordinary amount of dead white blood cells , pus, in their bloodstream. So when they get cut, they bleed what looks like thousand Island dressing.
2 Shannon // Sep 20, 2007 at 9:27 pm
I would like to put in an order for an April Chat Room. I would like it with the dressing on the side and extra croutons.
That way when I have reached the state of comfortably numb I could talk to people while my wonderful but tired hubby sleeps in the other room.
3 Shannon // Sep 20, 2007 at 9:53 pm
That is sooooo creepy. As I was composing my April Chat Room request and after I posted it, pal Jacky’s post came up with a salad dressing reference.
Though I would prefer a ranch type dressing over the Thousand Island unless it is an old fashioned shrimp salad with iceberg lettuce, ripe tomatos, cucumbers, slivered carrots and bay shrimp. Then yes to the
Thousand Island but—–I would like to have that with a nice hot loaf of sourdough and a bottle of rose.
4 Shannon // Sep 20, 2007 at 10:02 pm
P. Heaton, Helmsey, Dr. Laura are all skinny-assed women. (remember the TV adds 20 pounds of stupid).
Out of all of them, the one that has done the most damage to the female psychology of Amerika is Dr. Laura.
The self-denying of food, when the rest of us fat chicks are enjoying a good Chicago dog, fries and a beer, makes them mean. They haven’t chewed on anything good in awhile so they chew on our ass.
by the way everytime some poor misguided girl calls in with a problem and Dr. Laura tells her how stupid she is and how all the girl’s problems are her own fault, I think of how little the good Dr.’s tits are and how hairy her bush is. Thanks to her stupid decision to pose naked for a man who was not her husband.
5 jandu // Sep 20, 2007 at 10:19 pm
It’s too bad we can’t bury PHeaton, DrLaura, Star Jones, and Jennifer Garner in a hot, dark hole for 3 months.
God, Imagine the salad dresing that would be created from all that celebrity rot!!
6 Rogue of the Celestial Night // Sep 20, 2007 at 11:51 pm
Chris Crocker is getting his own show? The apocalypse is upon us.
7 katzinoire // Sep 21, 2007 at 12:17 am
Shudder, MRI’s hate those! Did you get claustrophobia?
And April, I believe next time a Diva crashes and burns, leap to her defense, because I would love to see you get your own show. :o)
8 pal Jacky // Sep 21, 2007 at 8:59 am
Yes, the day of the locust is at hand. Dr. Laura was screwing her current husband when he was married with children. This makes her a homewrecking whore. If she wants us to believe in the part of Leviticus where it says that gays are an abomination shouldn’t we also believe in the part where adulterers should be stoned to death? One last thing, do you think Jesus said ‘those who are without sin should cast the first stone’ in order for his mom to get in the first shot?
9 Brandex // Sep 21, 2007 at 10:05 am
Don’t we have enough histrionic freaks on television without adding Chris Crocker to the mix? Imagine how much worse YouTube will be if he manages to get his own show.
I’m not sure how the subject of Dr. Laura came up, but it’s interesting how the people who want to become moral authority figures for America are the least qualified to do so. When I used to go to church I met a few incredibly decent people who performed acts of kindness all the time. Unfortunately these people were always too humble to tell others what to do, though they would surely have done a good job. Instead, the arrogant know-it-alls who wanted to be bigshots in the church took those positions.
10 Jennifer R // Sep 21, 2007 at 11:45 am
The last word was, “they’ve stopped looking for the miners and they’re all assumed dead.” Kind of a non-event, in a way.
11 Stretch // Sep 21, 2007 at 12:26 pm
Dead people and Sullys farts in the same post …
Fill in your own joke here:
12 Andre // Sep 21, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Lost miners just don’t seem so important when there’s bombshell news like this:
http://tinyurl.com/2vq4n8
Seems Marcia and Jan were doing a little mining of their own. Mom always said, “Don’t play ball in the house.”
I love love love this story. It makes me feel all tingly and self satisfied
13 Stretch // Sep 21, 2007 at 4:40 pm
…so the correct expression should be
MARSHA!!
MARSHA!!!
OH OH OH!!! MARSHA
14 pal Jacky // Sep 21, 2007 at 5:33 pm
kelsey Grammer’s congenital makeup is a little harder to understand than those of the snot women. At first the doctors were stunned when he was born with a porous body and no lower G.I tract. Then it was discovered that his mother kept a living sea cucumber in a tank so she could masterbate with it. The excrement in the sea cucumber gets cleaned when water washes through its body. Kelsey, however, remains sticky and effluvient between soaks in the bathtub.
15 jj // Sep 22, 2007 at 6:45 pm
new word! I’m not sure i can use “effluvient” ten times today, but I sure as hell will try…
Marsha and Jan?? What, they were afraid Mike was getting all the same sex action?
Bobby and Oliver - now there’s a film.
16 JohnnyBoy // Oct 5, 2007 at 10:42 am
17 JohnnyBoy // Oct 5, 2007 at 10:44 am
Here’s Jeffrey and Olivia, which is even better:
http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l232/kathic617/BestFriends-1.jpg
18 JohnnyBoy // Oct 5, 2007 at 12:38 pm
[IMG]http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l232/kathic617/pals.jpg[/IMG]
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