Ever since I started blogging and being on the radio, I’ve tried to be accessible to the people who like what I do.
First, I made my email address public. That may not sound like a big deal now, but 6 years ago it wasn’t done. KFI gave us addresses to write from, and someone moderated all the mail. It was like the witness protection program, but with fewer perks.
Then I started inviting you to things I was doing. You came to see me do stand up. You came to remotes at the County Fair and Disneyland. I met some of you when I called bingo in a gay bar. We did the AIDS Walk together. And one very nice man came all the way down from Berkley for an art opening I hosted.
For all the talk I do about hating people (and I do), I like interacting with you. I always have.
That’s largely the reason I changed this site; I wanted more of that. Specifically, I wanted a commenting feature.
Of course, with that open communication comes a certain responsibility. For one thing, I don’t want a bunch of spammers here, so your initial comment doesn’t get posted until I approve it. And I’m just not going to allow any crap about your father dying in an hour if you don’t repost this comment ten times. My dad is already dead, so I get a pass.
But beyond that, it gets a little gray.
I’m not a big fan of censorship. But at the same time, this site has my name on it, so I feel uncomfortable letting something through that runs counter to my core beliefs.
So I’ve been sitting on a comment about the Kathy Griffin post. I guess I just don’t want to appear to be sharing the sentiment.
But more than that, I’m just tired of having the same conversation with people. It wears me out that we’re still having to educate people about what it is to be gay or straight, and how ridiculous it is that anyone should care.
It exhausts me that people could be so obsessed with what other people put in their asses that they can’t define human beings any other way (even though many gay people don’t have anal sex, and many straight people do).
I’m weary of ignorant, fearful people hiding behind the bible or their political party to justify their prejudice.
And I’m bored by the hypocrites who write “G-D” (but have no problem using the word “fag”) excitedly pointing out how hateful their opposites are, all the while using epithets to describe them.
So I leave it to you to have this conversation, because maybe the interactive portion of this site can be put to good and noble use when I’m just too tired to engage.
tjmile1 | tjmile1@gmail.com | IP: 76.175.226.195Not one comment in defense of Christianity, how surprising. I could care less about petitions, but I’m not into comedians that attack Christianity to make a name for themselves. It’s a shrewd but despicable move on her part. She’s funny enough without bashing Jesus, but for some reason she’s making a living mocking him and the people that follow him. I’m not a Christian, but their complaints about her are valid. She is extremely offensive and she would never make jokes that would air on Bravo about Islam. The hypocrisy is real, deal with that fact!- Christian’s do not hate. The fact that they are against homosexuality is what get’s all of you. Yeah, fudge packing is normal, right. Explain the biological purpose of shoving items in an area that is designed to excrete one way. Yes, the fact is they follow a book that is against homosexuality. Leviticus forbids it, along with not f-ing your father, mother, brother, sister, goats, etc… The old testament was written by Jews so I don’t know how all of a sudden Jews accept homos, but they sure do. I guess cause so many are themselves. It’s no biggy, at least they don’t eat shellfish or pork. Yeah, that would really be offensive to God. The Muslims don’t eat pork either, but the Muslims have balls, big ones, bigger even than Aprils.All I’m saying is Christians try to hold the line when it comes to decency, what are April’s and Kathy Griffin’s followers aspiring to become? Don’t get me wrong, I’m a libertarian who would love the legalization of drugs and prostitution. I’d outlaw marriage as well (the legal nature of it anyway). I just don’t need a book to know what is normal and abnormal. Just because the so-called “enlightened” people in society today embrace homosexuality doesn’t make it normal, and I have respect for those that try to live a clean life even if I can’t live within their standards.
Look at all the comments by homo supporters, talk about hate. “Good for Kathy, I’m so fucking sick of all the Fundamentalist idiocy invading every aspect of our daily existence” All I can say is, get a grip.
I’ve been a fan of April’s site for ever, and I think you’re funnier than Kathy Griffin.
Then again, maybe it’s just there to say “go fuck yourself”.
Your call.
62 responses so far ↓
1 jandu // Sep 26, 2007 at 7:26 pm
HE’S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT……you are funnier than Kathy Griffin
2 Gina // Sep 26, 2007 at 7:37 pm
It looks like this guy/girl didn’t leave a name so I’ll just refer to it as Delusional Dipshit.
Oh DD, where to begin…
First, Kathy did make jokes about Muslims and Islam on her show during the episode that focused on her trip to Iraq to entertain the troops. So there’s your strike one.
Second, “christians don’t hate”? You cannot be serious.
“Many of those people involved in Adolf Hitler were Satanists, many of them were homosexuals, the two things seem to go together, it is a pathology it is a sickness.” -Pat Robertson, founder of the Christian Broadcast Network.
Alan Keyes, a devout Christian, threw his teenage daughter out of the house when he found out she was a lesbian.
Maybe you should take a look at some of the comments from Christians about Dick Cheney’s new grandson. Satan’s Spawn
I could keep going for a long, long time. Strike two.
Third, isn’t it amusing how homophobic shitbags like yourself love to cherrypick Leviticus. You miserable, hypocritical bastards hang onto that like a fucking lifeline.
Someone will point out that Leviticus also says that bratty kids should be stoned to death or that eating a beer battered shrimp is an affront to God or that you’re not even supposed to look at a woman who has her period and it’s all “Oh, you’re taking it out of context!” But that one fucking thing that you believe refers to gays is an absolute. How convenient. Strike three.
Oh, and go fuck yourself.
3 stina // Sep 26, 2007 at 7:42 pm
So, tjmile1, just curious…would you be in favor of legalizing gay prostitution or just straight prostitution? How would that be monitored?
First of all, who gets to decide who and what normal is? Seriously. I think the people (Christian or not) who take such issue with homosexuality are the ones who need to get a grip. And if the bible is brought up as a defense for that position you also have to think about all the fucked up things written in that book as well. But we’ll save that for another day.
Here’s my comment in defense of Christianity…they have absolutely as much right to be offended as Kathy Griffin had to say what she said.
Freedom of speech. Period. People need to stop taking themselves so seriously.
And April is way funnier.
4 joshpincusiscrying // Sep 26, 2007 at 7:49 pm
I say anything is fair game as far as humor is concerned.
And April is way funnier than Kathy Griffin.
Jeez, my shoes are funnier that Kathy Griffin.
5 pal Jacky // Sep 26, 2007 at 7:58 pm
This is a serious issue and this website by its very nature is lighthearted. So its hard to post anything with concrete ideas(no I’m not as good a satirist as I’d like to be) As I see it, the fundementalists in any group tend to ruin it for everyone. They are the ones that are noticed and its really easy to paint with a broad brush. People have been doing it to muslims since 9/11. I’ve got first cousins whio went to Bob Jones university and they tortured my Grandmother on her deathbed about not going to heaven. To the point where they took the nurses call. My grandfather came in and kicked them out, and I haven’t spoken to any of them in 15 years. Its would be easy for me to think that all christains are evil, but that isn’t the case.
Bashing jesus is the best thing Kathy Griffin has done. I would rather it have come from someone else(it did, eric cartman)Most christians will look at it and shake their head and go on with life realizing that is what happens in a society with free speech and free religon. It’s the crazy little percent who vocally don’t like it and get all the press. They are like the fundemental muslims who think that statues of Mohammad are sacred to everyone. They are not, only to muslims. If your brand of christainty believes in Leviticus, then you have some major problems. Rabbis had to be married back then (this is still true with orthodox sects), Jesus was a rabbi, where is his wife? Furthermore, shouldn’t we stone Dr. Laura to death since she was an adulteress? Oh, that was before she converted. I guess all this rambling has to do is don’t give the minority the power to think they speak for everyone in the group.
One last point is I’m a member of a’cult’ that gets a lot of awful press from media. I’ll be clean and sober 17 years next tuesday(I’m not on any drugs, surprised ). Yet people think that all 12-steppers are cult members. The truth is that the 12-steppers that normal people know act like cult members and really don’t represent the whole group. Don’t lump me in with John Larroquete will you.
6 Gina // Sep 26, 2007 at 8:10 pm
Can’t we stone Dr. Laura just for being Dr. Laura?
7 RodRocket // Sep 26, 2007 at 8:24 pm
I don’t have as much a problem with what Kathy SAID as I do with what she seems to have become since she won the damn Emmy. She’d better check herself, because she’s started to morph into Joan Rivers.
By that, I mean that Joan used to be really funny, back when she was the struggling, desperate, self-depricating underdog. She killed.
I’ve enjoyed Kathy in the same way. She’d down here in the muck with the rest of us, taking pot-shots at the high and mighty, hoping to shoot them down and fall in with the rest of us turds. Dish it, girl! DISH IT! All the while, admitting her own turd status, which endeared her to us, no matter how potty-mouthed she got.
Not any more.
When I saw her on Larry King, I could smell the arrogance wafting from the screen. She TRIED to be funny about it, but you could see clearly she had let that glorified hood ornament go to her head. The same arrogance I smell whenever I see Joan Rivers.
So, Kath, when are you going to hawk your own line of cosmetics on QVC?
8 steve // Sep 26, 2007 at 8:27 pm
wow, pal Jacky, you honestly surprised me. and here I thought all your other posts were drunken ramblings, but now I know that they were like Zippy the Pinhead dialog: smart ideas wrapped in non-sequitor comments.
So let’s get back to the topic at hand, which is the problems that arise when religious people get offended by a non-religious person saying something nasty about a religious thing. I’m a gay Catholic. It’s taken me almost all of my 35 years to find the “simply love everyone” side of my faith, rather than the “hate different people” side of it, but that’s because I’m a hard worker. I’m not lazy. hating people and flying off the handle because someone said something nasty is easy.
Think about it: all the shit going on in the Middle East right now comes down to one thing: GOD, and whose belief structure is more holy. Sure, there’s oil thrown in there, but really it’s about God. so extremists blow up people who don’t worship God the same way they do, because that’s easy. Instead of finding out what’s common, and what part of God they can agree on, they just smear the ground with the blood of the different people.
I don’t tell many people about my faith. It’s highly personal and it’s not an easy journey. Was I offended by Kathy Griffin? absolutely NOT. She’s a funny lady, and I like what she’s done in the past. It won’t change my opinion of her at all. I do agree that April is funnier, duh. Kathy Griffin has as much of a right to say what she said as I do to be offended by it, but it doesn’t make her an inherently evil person because she told Jesus to suck it.
I’m ranting. Please someone pick up where I left off.
9 blogarsay // Sep 26, 2007 at 8:29 pm
April, dude, just post it. We all know you don’t share the sentiment. That’s how teh internets work.
10 jandu // Sep 26, 2007 at 8:32 pm
I can’t help but add….There was a debate similar to this a very long time ago, when a small group of people believed a homeless Jew could turn water into wine. This “heretic” sect, this hated group considered themselves correct, and the rest of the world hated them, to the degree that they were murdered and cast out because of their beliefs. I imagine some idiot saying to the Christians of old, “Just because the so-called “enlightened” people in society today embrace Christianity doesn’t make it normal.” Stinky Christians of that time wanted their voices heard, they didn’t care who they offended, and what the status quo was. So this Christian idiot is forgetting the very beginnings of Christianity, and that’s the real shame.
And no one Sir/Madam, no one has bigger balls than April Winchell. Her Dad was a puppeteer For God’s sake.
I need a drink.
11 DannyandBarkley // Sep 26, 2007 at 9:13 pm
How the fuck did Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s press junket reach this site?
Seems like someone really wants to suck-off Muhammad’s balls.
tjmile1, is this simply a Freudian slip?
12 pal Jacky // Sep 26, 2007 at 9:27 pm
well bashing dr. laura is sort of my chicken soup for my soul, I have to say this. If the bitch just came out and said about those yellowing polaroids ‘yes those are me and this is the kind of trouble you can get into when you sleep with a married man twice your age.’ She would have been gotten some respect. Here her talk now she was never young and stupid,. If living clean and sober has taught me anything is that saying, I used to do that, and here’s how I stopped’ is far more powerful than the ‘just say no’ bullshit from the moralizers.
13 gary // Sep 26, 2007 at 9:30 pm
Call me when the Christians start beheading non-believers.
Seriously, it’s easy to attack christians because all they do is whine .
Attack a muslim’s beliefs and well, just read the news .
What Kathy Griffin said was funny as hell. She took the piss out of all the dorks who thank jesus for winning some piece of crap award. Nice work there. The people who got their panties in a bunch over her comment overreacted. But they overreacted with words or in writing.
If she’d said what she’d said, but substituted mohammed for jesus she’d be in hiding right now.
This doesn’t mean that I’m giving the dickhead who sent the comment a pass. The guy/girl’s an idiot. Love is love. Consenting adults shouldn’t have to hide their love because of a few dipshits like our nameless internet tough guy.
14 theFatTubist // Sep 26, 2007 at 9:58 pm
I’m a part of the “who the hell gives a flying fart what he does with his anus” crowd. I may not thinking if waking up next to a big hairy butt in my face “Oh yeah! I wanna get me soumma that!” But I feel there are two points in tjmile’s statement that rings true - the fact that it’s a cheap and easy way to get laughs these days by bashing and the dichotomy of the “progressive people” in the statement: “Good for Kathy, I’m so fucking sick of all the Fundamentalist idiocy invading every aspect of our daily existence”. In that sentence, it basically says that only one kind of people are allowed to hold a public forum about what they think. This, I think, is not the true nature of a progressive person, but the same old hateful feelings that have been around since the beginning of time.
The fact is, people love to hate. The only thing that time changes is the socially acceptable way to hate.
My only question is, is it possible for humanity to not hate? Forget about “bright future of sunny hope” — I’m wondering if the will to hate is so ingrained in our genetic makeup that it is physically impossible not to hate. Probably not. Considering we descend from monkeys and discriminating is an archaic method of survival, it is impossible to completely suppress the urge to discriminate and in turn, hate.
15 JohnnyBoy // Sep 26, 2007 at 11:12 pm
Yeesh, it was so much more fun when I was pretend-fighting with PalJacky over in the other thread
Putting on the Serious hat, although I’m all for free speech, that there’s no reason that should obligate April to provide a forum for someone who gives every appearance of being an inconsistent idiot.
I’m new here, I didn’t know what the rules (if any) were when I posted my DogJesus verses, I thought they were funny, I don’t know if anyone else does, but if for some reason April decided that they were inappropriate, or just plain old NOT FUNNY, and she decided to delete them, then that’s her right.
I wouldn’t have been pleased, I probably wouldn’t feel encouraged to contribute, but that’s about it.
Hat off, I’m going back to being a goofball
16 GiveMeTheMusic // Sep 27, 2007 at 12:13 am
Yeeeeeeeah.
So, it comes down to this. Kathy’s comments about Jesus were offensive to people who believe in Jesus. In America, it is her right to say them if she so chooses. I’m a Christian. Do I care if Kathy Griffin makes fun of Jesus? No, Jesus can take it. He dealt with far worse when he was on earth 2,000 years ago. I’m not worried.
These Miracle Theater folks are clearly in this for their own gain, and April’s point about how far $90,000 could go in Pigeon Forge was a great one. There will always be Christians who are hateful and vocal. There are hateful and vocal people in every group. So are all Christians hateful? No. In fact, if they actually spent some time with their Bibles, they’d be the complete opposite.
Whether I think homosexuality is right, wrong or blue in the face is totally irrelevant. That is an orientation I don’t envy…being gay even in today’s America is still very hard. I have a lot of gay friends and I love them all very much. Their gayness has nothing to do with how I see them…I want them to be happy, and ultimately whatever they do in life is between them and God. They’d be my friends if they were straight. It’s not a factor.
That said, I have gay friends who live in complete peace with their faith and I have gay friends who literally anguish daily in their internal struggles. All I can say is that I know God loves them regardless and I’m just there for them like any of my other friends. I am not God, I am not the judge. The fact is, the Bible is not crystal clear on the subject. In fact, it’s downright murky. So rather than waste time finger pointing, I leave it to personal conclusion. And whatever it is they end up coming to, I support and love them just like I would anyone else.
Isn’t this what Jesus did? If you read the Gospels, you see countless stories of Jesus hanging out with prostitutes, tax collectors and the dregs of society. The Pharisees, the “enlightened” ones, weren’t interested in Him, and vice versa. Mary Magdalene? Prostitute. He went to people who needed to be loved.
Christians often kick people while they’re down…it’s hard enough to be gay in society without having some fundie kicking you in the side screaming about how you’re going to hell. Anyone remember that little thing about whoever hasn’t sinned can cast the first stone? Anyone catch that Jesus actually HADN’T sinned, and yet he DIDN’T cast a stone? There’s the example we are to follow.
How many Christian leaders do you know that spend their time with the bottom of the ladder? How often do you see the Dobsons taking a homeless transvestite prostitute out to dinner?
Modern Christianity has missed the point. The old cliche “God is Love” is true, if the Bible is to be believed. Nowhere in the Bible does it say “Thou shalt be a Recruiter and a Finger-Pointer.” But Jesus said the greatest commandment is to…love your neighbor as yourself.
And besides, I don’t have time to be offended by some crackpot half-assed comedian’s lame attempts at humor. I’ve got crap to do and if I took time out of my life to make waves about being offended, not only would I look stupid like all the people who do such things, but I would be one of Gina’s DDs. And I’m not talking cup sizes folks. And I love offensive humor, so it would be awful hypocritical of me to go after Kathy Griffin when just the other day I told a joke that would make Cartman blush.
It’s late. And now I’m going to blend myself a little Mudslide. I’ve got a red eye tomorrow night.
17 naughty zoot // Sep 27, 2007 at 12:16 am
That guy has issues.
But We all know those issues are HIS April, so don’t worry.
But as a moderate Christian with lots of moderate Muslim friends, I can safely say that ALL of us are sick of far-right members of our sects who waste their time and energy trying to force governments to impose THEIR narrow ideas of “decency” on EVERYONE.
And Kathy’s poking fun at that tired old “shout out to Jebus” crap is spot-on. I’ve got a few buddies who’ve worked on rap video sets, from the stories I hear,what those guys do backstage on a daily basis sure doesn’t back up the religious posturing that they do onstage at awards shows. It’s a blatant “keepin’ it real” move to make themselves seem down to earth and humble–which keeps the cd and tickets sales up.
And oddly enough, Jesus DID have a whole lot to say about jerks who acted holy in public but exploited those weaker than themselves in private. And what He had to say wasn’t good. But since there’s not a lot of lightening striking down hypocrites these days, I’ll take a laugh at their expense instead. Too bad so many others couldn’t get the joke.
Two more things:
1- PalJackie- Jesus was called “rabbi” which is Hebrew for “teacher” , he didn’t serve formally as a priest in the Temple, so he wasn’t required to marry. However, there is some evidence that he WAS married, but just like the wives of the other apostles, his family wasn’t mentioned either. The jury is still out on that one.
2- In response to King Knickers-in-a-twist tjmile 1’s question of “what are April’s fans doing to make the world a better, more decent place?” Getting my degree in Public health and giving free health screenings to poor children every weekend. Future goal: running a low-cost clinic for chronically ill, uninsured people. How about YOU, jackass?
18 NDNation // Sep 27, 2007 at 12:24 am
Hate to confuse you all…but…
I am a white, male, straight, devout Christian who:
- Faithfully (no pun intended…or taken) attends a progressive but mainstream Presbyterian church
- Is pro-choice
- Actively supports gay marriage and adoption by gay couples
- Will vote for Hillary, if only because I would love to see a woman in the White House.
- Is really unhappy that “Christian” politicians have highjacked a major portion of our government.
- Thinks Kathy G. is hilarious and laughed like a fool at the “Jesus can suck it” comment because I appreciate her sensationalism.
My point… Well, my point should be obvious. If you get it, you get it. If you don’t, there’s probably nothing I can say to round out your perspective. That said, hate is grounded in ignorance, regardless of whether you hate some generalized construct you call “gays” or “Christians” or whatever.
19 Andre // Sep 27, 2007 at 2:29 am
Hee hee!
He said “fudge packing”!
20 Andre // Sep 27, 2007 at 2:48 am
And come to think of it, I’m offended! My father worked for years in the packing department of “Aunt Helga’s Old Fashioned Fudge Factory” as did his father before him. In fact I can trace roots to ancestors who packed fudge on the Mayflower. My grandpa was proud to be a fudge packer, my father was proud to be a fudge packer. and goddammit I, too, am proud to carry on the family tradition of packing fudge whenever and wherever possible. Shame on tjmile for attacking such a noble profession. I’ve read the bible and I’m pretty damn sure the words “fudge” and “packing” are nowhere to be found in it, much less God’s contempt for those who put delicious dessert treats into boxes.
Stop your confectionery hatred, tjmile!
21 bnaivar // Sep 27, 2007 at 4:20 am
It’s really very simple. The poster is just upset because between John and Woz, both you AND Kathy are off the market.
22 Stretch // Sep 27, 2007 at 7:52 am
I agree with Gina - listen to Dr. Laura STONED!
23 Stretch // Sep 27, 2007 at 8:04 am
I actually read the employee manual at Aunt Helga’s and it stressed that when packing fudge, one must pay additional attention to the nuts…
excuse me while I break into a Spiritual -
“Swing low ….(never mind)”
24 JohnnyBoy // Sep 27, 2007 at 8:11 am
Now if I could only find a recording of that by MERV Griffin, we’d be doin’ real good !
25 JohnnyBoy // Sep 27, 2007 at 8:24 am
ok, MAYBE……if Mr Dipshit did a performance in like a Yosemite Sam - type style, yelling ” I’m a Libbertarian, except fer them stool-samplin’ rectum-wranglin’ gay galoots”….then I might feel better about the whole thing
26 Jennifer R // Sep 27, 2007 at 9:05 am
Since when did Christianity issue a license to hate? “God said I could hate gays!”
Gaaaaaaaaah. No bloody wonder I want to spit when I hear the word “Christian” said any more.
27 Merujo // Sep 27, 2007 at 10:07 am
Wow, a progressive homo-phobe. Wonderful. Glad to see this critter’s all for legalizing prostitution, but still hatin’ the “homos.” Jeez.
As for all the feel good luvin’ Christians… well, a few years ago I got to hear the Dalai Lama speak here in DC. Someone asked him why, when Buddhism is supposed to be a religion of peace, there are so many bloody, horrible conflicts in countries with large Buddhist populations. The Dalai Lama laughed and said, “There are many bad Buddhists!” Same goes for Christians, Jews, Muslims, furries, people who worship Elvis, and people who think we should leave Britney alone - there are plenty of bad ones! But even in their most bigoted, small-minded moments, they cling to their belief that calling out their faith in a deity makes them superior to the rest of us heathens. And that ain’t so.
It’s all good fodder for comedians. All this makes me want to jump on a plane to L.A. and spend an evening with Miss Coco Peru. I could really use some good drag stand-up about now.
Get over it, tjmile, get thyself a grip. And if you don’t find someone else to grip, try gripping yourself. It might improve your perspective. (Or buy yourself a Baby Jesus buttplug — they’re fairly inexpensive, I believe, and available online!)
28 naughty zoot // Sep 27, 2007 at 10:41 am
Stretch, Andre,
My NANA worked at Mrs. See’s and belonged to the Fudge Packers Union Chapter 101- do you think our families know each other!!??
Wow- what are the chances???
29 naughty zoot // Sep 27, 2007 at 10:43 am
Oh God, CAN’T STOP THE FUNNY!!!!
(or laughing….)
April, don’t worry about who posts what..this is COMEDY GOLD!!!
30 JohnnyBoy // Sep 27, 2007 at 10:52 am
Bad Zoot…Bad Naughty Zoot !
actually not, but I’ve been meaning to say that
31 Stretch // Sep 27, 2007 at 12:33 pm
OK now you’re sounding like Senator Larry Craig talking about Bill Clinton
32 JohnnyBoy // Sep 27, 2007 at 12:43 pm
Sen. Craig says “Bad Zoot” ?
(tapping foot awaiting response)
33 Stretch // Sep 27, 2007 at 12:58 pm
This just has to be posted here. it’s Jeff Foxworthy gone queer…”You know you’re a Beard when…”
http://tinyurl.com/2pcf65
sorry - looks like you’ll have to copy and paste
Jake G took Reese Witherspoon to see Rufus do Judy
“Homos and drag queens and Bears - OH MY!”
34 pal Jacky // Sep 27, 2007 at 1:00 pm
Okay, so maybe christains aren’t blowing themselves up. however, just becasue they aren’t as bad as the muslims they aren’t immune to dispicable things some of their nutjobs do. Reverend Phelthcher(sp?) and his ‘god hates fags’ group picketing funerals.. The god created white man and black people came from evolution concept that some of their more ’scientific’ members believe in. (try arguing against that one some time)There’ s also been a few abortion clinic bombers and yes oklahoma city, if terry nichols is to be believed. Again its the fundementalists who are ruining the name for everyone else. That’s my point, not to paint all christians with the disgust that these 3-sigma cases obviously require.
“please don’t shirk the facts, Mankind is kept alive by bestial acts’B.Brecht.
35 JohnnyBoy // Sep 27, 2007 at 1:12 pm
Brings to mind the bathroom grafitti I saw in the late 60’s:
Jesus Saves, but Moses Invests
(and that’s why the Jews have Prophets)
36 unclemike // Sep 27, 2007 at 1:21 pm
Explain the biological purpose of shoving items in an area that is designed to excrete one way.
Obviously this kid has never had a prostate massage.
37 naughty zoot // Sep 27, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Johnny Boy– and then…THE SPANKING!!!
No worries, I appreciate your appreciation.
Gads but I love you people!
38 pal Jacky // Sep 27, 2007 at 2:23 pm
Biology is full of wonderous things. Imagine peeing out the same place a man seed comes out of . I’d like the ‘cross’ people to explain that one.
39 paper-hat // Sep 27, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Oh! My!
40 April // Sep 27, 2007 at 2:27 pm
Unclemike - I’m pretty sure any opening that excretes is designed to excrete one way. If you have an opening that excretes waste and also takes it in, you’re either a medical anomaly or Japanese porn star.
41 SoCalFKK // Sep 27, 2007 at 2:40 pm
“Yes, the fact is they follow a book that is against
homosexuality. Leviticus forbids it . . .”
If by “follow” you mean “live by,” what world are you writing from? Inches away from the infamous Leviticus condemnation is one about eating shellfish, yet look at all the Christians at Red Lobster. From not touching women when they’re menstruating to not wearing two types of fabric to selling your slaves only in neighboring villages, the Bible is chock-full of advice all Christians are very happy in the 21st century to ignore. Yet somehow that creepy line calling for the death of homosexuals is the only line that gets dredged out of the O.T. in 2007, dusted off like new, and thrown in our face.
42 jandu // Sep 27, 2007 at 3:07 pm
Sorry….but I’ve had time to analyze. The post is actually very homo-erotic. I’ll point out some of the hidden homoisms hidden in his paragraph
1. “Homosexuality” (3 times)
2. “shoving items into an area”
3. “Fudge packing is normal”
4. “Fucking”
5. “f-ing your father”
6. “homos”
7. “biggy”
8. “pork” (2 times…that’s no mistake)
9. “balls, big ones”
10. “hold the line”
11. “aspiring”
12. “embrace homosexuality”
13. “homo supporters”
14. “invading”
15. “aspect”
16. “get a grip” (that’s my favorite one)
43 pal Jacky // Sep 27, 2007 at 3:08 pm
What am I doing to make the world a better place? I make an excellent advocado dip. Actually, going back to the clean and sober thing, I’ve helped people stay sober. Not because I wanted to, not because it was fun, its needed for me to stay sober. Why I brought it up in the first place is that some sober people have taken offense to an episode of ‘South Park’ and have decided that no one can truly be a 12-stepper and enjoy that show on any level. The same sort of violent, intolerant idiocy that has been portrayed here comes up. I saw that episode, and was wondering, what the fuss was about. If Stan’s dad was truly an alcoholic as opposed to a guy with a first DUI, as depicted on the show, I would agree. I’m not even against first time offenders being sent to AA. for a few sessions.Because, everybody in this day and age knows somebody that is sober or needs to get sober. Drink to ones heart content, but its important to know that if a problem appears(i think alcoholism is like diabetes, once you get it , you have it) there is a solution and its not the weird kick-booze cult that many people in it like to portray it as.
Let me get Yoda for a second, fear turns to hate. Obviously, if someone has a chink in their belief that what they are doing isn’t going to get them into heaven,(or keep them sober) Its easier to lash out at the critics than it is to examine the truth behind ones faith.
44 Stretch // Sep 27, 2007 at 4:10 pm
I just heard they are adding the 12 step to next season’s “Dancing with the Stars”
as per my previous post on Aunt Helga’s employee manual it actually reads:
“When packing the fudge - be sure not to squish your nuts”
Japanese porn star
- APRIL ROCKS
45 Syr Paine // Sep 27, 2007 at 4:11 pm
Reminds me of a joke…
Three engineers were discussing what kind of engineer God was.
One said that God had to be an electrical engineer. “Take a look at the brain and the central nervous system,” he said. “God was an electrical engineer.”
The next one said that God had to be a mechanical engineer. “Look at the joints and muscles and how they work together,” he said. “God was a mechanical engineer.”
“You are both wrong,” said the third man. “God was a civil engineer. Who else would put a waste pipeline in the middle of an entertaiment facility?”
Some homo better be serving drinks right about now…
Oh wait! I’m that homo and tjmile can suck it…
46 paper-hat // Sep 27, 2007 at 4:29 pm
one more
47 JohnnyBoy // Sep 27, 2007 at 4:43 pm
“chink in their belief”
Asian, dammit
But seriously folks, A few years back I was watching the Hasidic channel (New York has EVERYTHING!), and this clearly gay in full Hasid garb was showing how to make treats for Purim, and my wife walks in the room, watches for a few moments, says “what the hell are you watching?” and I said Shlomo the Homo…….I think she believed me for about 10 seconds then she hit me with a shoe
48 JohnnyBoy // Sep 27, 2007 at 5:37 pm
Any mp3s of Smells Like Teen Penis?
49 Eli // Sep 27, 2007 at 6:20 pm
Frank Zappa: “Those Jesus freaks, well they’re friendly but, the shit they believe, has got their minds all shut… The meek shall inherit nothing”
Bill Hicks: “See, that’s what fundamentalism breeds: no irony.”
and also, “People suck, and I can prove it with an Etch-A-Sketch”
It’s unfortunate that these people are so intolerant of everyone else, and generally want to assault, whether verbally or otherwise, the segment of the population that doesn’t conform to their standard. Zealotry at it’s finest, I tell you. Conform or be eviscerated.
Besides, if you had never read the bible, and stumbled on it in a bookstore when you were 25, would there be so much faith devoted it then? When rationality has come into play?
I think not.
50 coasterboy // Sep 27, 2007 at 7:31 pm
Since this guy has such an issue with things going up the butt….has he not noticed that the Catholic Church has paid out almost 6 BILLION dollars to settle lawsuits from Priests shoving their purple meat hammers up the poop chutes of little boys? Seems they are the reason that some Christians confuse homosexuality with pedophelia….
51 Shannon // Sep 28, 2007 at 12:21 am
“Explain the biological purpose of shoving items in an area that is designed to excrete one way.”
Well jesus tjmile, you would starve to death for one.
52 JohnnyBoy // Sep 28, 2007 at 12:40 am
“Why don’t you go pedophile some young boys?”
Reilly Martin
53 Yoeman // Sep 28, 2007 at 8:26 am
Wow, my comment got quoted! WhooHooo!!!
Get a grip? Get one yourself.
54 AlexZo // Sep 29, 2007 at 4:52 pm
“Okay, so maybe christains aren’t blowing themselves up”
Why blow yourself up when you can blow up little baby jesus
Stolen from the wonderful http://www.jesusoftheweek.com
55 JohnnyBoy // Oct 1, 2007 at 6:18 am
In 4th grade of Catholic school, the nun had a tough time when we said that Lazarus was a zombie and that he’d do Jesus’ bidding.
56 AlexZo // Oct 1, 2007 at 1:00 pm
OK Try again original page if that fails is http://www.jesusoftheweek.com/jesii/370/index.html
57 AlexZo // Oct 1, 2007 at 1:04 pm
OK what gives with the pictures, then? Do we have to be specail friends to get that to work? Cos I can be spaciel too. I can even get a note from my doctor saying so.
58 AlexZo // Oct 1, 2007 at 1:15 pm
And that time I even copied and pasted the instructions from where Miss April told us to. Then copied and pasted the address of the photo. So why do my posts all have a great ta-da moment followed by a blank space. I feel like the fluffer for Jennifer Aniston.
Anyway I have learned that a search for balloon jesus is far more rewarding than it deserves to be. http://www.merrittministry.org/jesus.html and http://kenmeier.info/weblog/?p=99 are particularly good.
The Lord really does move ……
59 tjmile1 // Oct 1, 2007 at 10:14 pm
I’ll try be brief. I love you April even though you don’t love me. I don’t hate gays, I just don’t agree with non-heterosexual lifestyles male or female. Sorry, I’m old school when it comes to that. I’m married, I’m not gay, and everyone who reads this site has issues.
I especially enjoyed all of the repartee about fudge packing. There are a ton of funny posters here. The ones that hate me take themselves way too seriously.
Oh, and I believe in legalization of all prostitution. C’mon, give me some credit for all the Leviticus stuff. It’s a great read, I tell ya.
Tim
60 Johnny Empire // Oct 2, 2007 at 10:26 am
You know this whole Kathy/Jesus thing was just for notoriety, right? There’s no bad publicity in entertainment.
And the Christian group that burned $110k are getting their own profile raised. It’s an investment to them - one that will probably get paid back over time.
61 JohnnyBoy // Oct 2, 2007 at 11:47 am
But do you know who loves Poodle?
EVERYBODY ! That’s who !
62 jim // Oct 8, 2007 at 10:54 pm
Hrm. “Old school” must be code for “estranged from reality” … sorries, but I grew up in the country, & nature isn’t even remotely “old-school” - more like PMS’ing Riot Grrl, w/ a random dose of Flapper-floozy after 4 Martinis. If you liked Leviticus, you’ll LOVE Revelations! It’s just KILLING over in northern Africa right this minute, come to think of it. Praise Jeebuz!
Normal is perhaps the most comical term one can apply to contemporary psychosexual hijinx: girls can now get their G-Spots “fluffed” surgically for increased potency, & guys are literally walking around dangling several pounds of iron from their unit in the name of a measly inch or two of spongy tissue.
Philosophers & novices, knights & squires, sheriffs & deputies … all either explicitly or implicitly homo-erotic. All role-models for society. I’m definitely not a fancier of tag-team bum-darts myself, but it’s just none of my bloody beeswax if others are or not.
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