I hate Rachael Ray. I really do.
My hate burns with the heat of a thousand suns. It is an all consuming hate; the kind of loathing usually reserved for the truly evil, like Patricia Heaton. And that’s strange, because on the cretin scale, Rachael Ray is a pretty small fish.
She’s not a homophobe, she’s not a bible thumping, Trent-Lott-public-toilet-blowjob hypocrite, she’s not trying to outlaw stem cell research, she hasn’t adopted a Cambodian orphan and she isn’t building a Kaballah Center in Nigeria.
Her only crime, really, is the relentless pursuit of anything she can lend her name to or put her bloated face on. And in all fairness, she’s simply striking while the iron is hot.
I just want to strike her with that iron.
It didn’t happen all at once. Like most over-exposed celebrities with stupid catch phrases, Rachael was largely off my radar for years. I knew of her, I had seen her, but she hadn’t really penetrated that bubble I work so hard at maintaining; the one that keeps me from really grasping who Heidi Montag is.
She had her cooking show, she had her books, she had Oprah. But it wasn’t enough. In a tragic bit of foreshadowing, Rachael Ray’s appetite got out of control.
The first pin prick to my safety bubble was this atrocity, which I found on Amazon last year.
What, you didn’t know Rachael Ray makes mixtapes?
Oh sure! She puts on headphones and smokes a joint and sifts through her mp3s so she can make CDs for Oprah. Dr. Phil has one of her yum-o mixtapes on his Sport Walkman.
Whatever. The only thing Rachael Ray ever burned was one of her shitty 30 minute meals.
Or as one reviewer said on Amazon:
If I meet anyone who pays for this CD I will personally slap them in the head for being stupid.
Thankfully, I was able to put her out of my mind until this past summer, when we went to New York for the 4th of July. John and I love Dunkin Donuts coffee, and visiting their stores is something we really look forward to when we go back east.
So imagine our horror when we walked into one of those pink and orange shitholes in Times Square and saw Rachael Ray’s gurning, Jack O’ Lantern of a head shilling for Dunkin Donuts.
“It’s quick and delish. Quilicious! Is that a word?”
Yes, Rach, it is a word. Like “whoretastic” and “fatnnoying”.
And it didn’t stop there. Because like America, Dunkin runs on Rachael Ray, and wants to see her in all media, at every moment of the day. So they signed her rasping ass to a TV contract, and her horrible commercials ran during baseball games all summer. It almost ruined the season before the Yankees had a chance to.
The most telling of these commercials showed her talking to some underling, going over her ridiculous schedule for the day: book signings, tapings, posing for mixtape covers. Suddenly, our little sprite stifles a yawn, setting a phalanx of secret service men into action.
They immediately head to Dunkin Donuts, where they fetch iced coffee laced with the half a cup of sugar and 6 ounces of heavy cream that Rach needs just to stay alive. Hopefully they picked up a dozen Munchkins and a few coffee rolls, just to tide her over until the bagels arrive.
When Agent Smith returns from the Matrix with Rach’s fix, she turns to him, wide eyed, reaches out her trembling hands and croaks, “Fantabulous!’
Look, Rachael made another word!
When summer ended, so did my exposure to Rachael Ray, and I began to relax. Not living back east, I wasn’t subjected to any further assaults from Dunkin Donuts, and for all I knew, her relationship with them had ended. It was a happy time.
But that’s all over now. Because this morning I got an Evite, and guess whose Photoshopped chins were all over it?
And it gets better. Because when I went to read the Evite, I was treated to the rest of the ad!Not only is Rachael plastered all over my friend’s invitation, her party is better than theirs! Fuck Matt and Heather, Rachael’s party is perfect!
I mean, look at the picture. Not only does she have six crackers, she also appears to have Magnum PI behind her. That’s him by the fire, drinking a glass of orange juice. I don’t know why. Maybe he just gave blood. That would be so like Rach, to have a blood drive at her perfect cracker party. Matt and Heather could learn a thing or two from her.
The thing that has me puzzled is why no one sees the pendulum starting to swing the other way. The backlash has already begun, and yet, people are still lining up, waving giant bags of money, and trying to get her to eat donuts (something she’s clearly doing on her own).
It’s only going to make things worse, because as I said at the outset, the reason she is so hateful is that she is everywhere. It’s simply too much. I don’t need Rachael Ray everyday.
And there’s something else. I’m just going to come out and say it. Rachael Ray is starting to look like a tub of shit. You can retouch your cracker ads all you want, but until you get Industrial Light and Magic to handle your televison ads, you might want to stay away from short sleeves.
Her stylists aren’t doing her any favors, either. You don’t shovel someone with her figure into Lycra wrap-around dresses that make your waist look thicker and your tits look smaller. I’m no expert, but I think that’s the opposite of what you pay them for.
Now before you get all Redbook and give me that everyone is beautiful horseshit, let me say two things. One, they’re not, and two, shut up.
As far as I’m concerned, she’s asking for it. If you put yourself in front of me constantly and demand my attention, at some point I am going to see you. Don’t blame me for noticing who you are.
65 responses so far ↓
1 katzinoire // Nov 28, 2007 at 5:07 am
Although the more I watch her, the more I understand your irritation, I still like her, although I am shocked they are removing Emeril from the Food Tv line-up. Orion was crushed-that’s his favorite. If the two were on a Celebrity Death Match, I would be rooting for him.
2 nix // Nov 28, 2007 at 6:15 am
I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels so passionately about this. They have a display of her books and magazines next to the section of the frozen foods I need things out of at the grocers. I pass it and flick one of the covers hard enough to hurt my fingernail and say “FUCK YOU, RACHAEL RAY” under my breath (since when I yell it like I really want to people glare at me like I just threw rocks at their kids).
You left out the worst thing about her. She’s convinced an entire nation of housewives to forget that extra virgin olive oil is, in fact, four separate words, not a three letter abbreviation to be spelled out like we’re all kids who aren’t supposed to know that dad is outside S-H-O-O-T-I-N-G Y-E-L-L-E-R.
She makes me not want to eat Ritz crackers. No one should invoke that feeling.
3 JohnnyBoy // Nov 28, 2007 at 7:16 am
If she’s mentioned, I say that I don’t understand. Not that I don’t know her, but as if it confuses me. Like if someone says her name, I say, I don’t understand what that means.
like she’s a concept I can’t grasp. but clearly that’s not enough. I’ll have to start pronouncing her name like Racial, like she’s some sort of prejudice-ray. Step back you mexican or I’ll use my racial-ray on you
and she’s on my Ritz Crackers and that’s wrong as I like Ritz Crackers a LOT. and it’s worse than those horrid Olsen twins, they aren’t constantly in my face. I can basically ignore them, but she’s pervasive, like a pestilence.
I’ve also tried to claim that she’s an Hi-def DVD format, like she’s Blu-Ray’s sister. But this is no longer a light-hearted matter.
4 joshpincusiscrying // Nov 28, 2007 at 7:38 am
I’m not going to take a cheap shot Rachael Ray (although it certainly would be easy).
When I saw the first Dunkin Donuts ad featuring Rachael Ray, I felt that she lost any credibility as an “expert” on food. Face it, she has a cooking show and I don’t, so she must know something. But, associating herself with a place that serves such exotic cuisine as donuts, coffee and sausage-packed breakfast croissants, ain’t exactly promoting her gourmet-cooking prowess. Plus, have you seen the unwashed cretins that hang around Dunkin Donuts? Do they know who Rachael Ray is?
And what does she know about mixtapes? or kids? or mixtapes for kids?
I see Emeril, Alton Brown and even that bumpkin Paula Dean publishing cookbooks. Books about cooking! Not books about brain surgery or auto repair. And certainly not mixtapes!
okay….. I’m through ranting.
By the way, no Dunkin Donuts on the west coast????
5 Doug // Nov 28, 2007 at 7:56 am
I *love* Rachael Ray, sorry. She’s just so damn *cute*, how could you not? Also, it’s so refreshing to see a Food TV hostess who DOESN’T flaunt her cleavage (she doesn’t have any). Don’t get me wrong, I love ta-tas, but if I want sex with my food, I’ll watch my wife cook naked.
Yes, Giada, we all see that you have wonderful tits…now put them away, will you? You’re dragging them in the pasta sauce.
6 JohnnyBoy // Nov 28, 2007 at 8:33 am
Doug, you’re certainly entitled to like anyone you want, but in my opinion, she’s vile and smarmy.
I wouldn’t want to weigh
as much as Rachael Ray
if she was the only woman in the world
I’d probably go gay
7 gary // Nov 28, 2007 at 9:19 am
Kirstie Alley and Valerie Bertinelli , keep your eyes on the rear view mirror. Here comes the next SlimFast pitch blimp.
If she were only a Scientologist we’d have Yahtzee.
8 JohnnyBoy // Nov 28, 2007 at 9:42 am
They should have porno doppelgangers like Thirsty Alley and Valerie Spurtinelli and Facial Ray
9 John Foley // Nov 28, 2007 at 12:17 pm
I would have gone with “Rachael Ray is Whale-icious!”
10 haineux // Nov 28, 2007 at 12:23 pm
Doug, did you see the layout she did for FHM? You might like it. It made ME horrified because, well, she’s just not at all attractive to me. Not “ugly” just, well, nothing. And there she was, prancing around in a bikini top and short shorts licking cake batter off a wooden spoon. Not so much EWWW as WHY DID THEY BOTHER?
As for her being a celebrity chef, she’s the first to say that she’s not a chef, but a “cooker.” I suspect that’s why Triscuit and Dunkin’ Do’s are so happy to employ her — white trash cooker shilling white trash food.
11 steve // Nov 28, 2007 at 12:23 pm
re: DD ad… does she need FOUR iced coffees? and DD need to get rid of the 3rd grader-designed orange and pink theme. it’s ridiculous that the RR commercial has such a James Bond look to it, with the muted colors, and the cars, and the outfits, and then they walk in with a tray of four… sippy cups.
12 JohnnyBoy // Nov 28, 2007 at 12:29 pm
“you wascally wabbit, twying to twick me into appwying a vibwator to Wachael Way’s cwitowis”
E. Fudd
13 Doug // Nov 28, 2007 at 12:31 pm
Haineux, no, I haven’t seen the layout in FHM. I’d like to see it, true, but I can’t guarantee that it would turn me on. The perfect word for her IMO is “cute”…I wouldn’t ever call her “hot” or “sexy”, though she comes a little close to that in the “Unwrap the perfect party” advert photo above. I would have discouraged a sexy FHM layout if I’d been on the FHM staff at the time. Thinking of her dressed to kill, with an attempt being made to contort her chest into having some kind of appearance of cleavage, well, I would find that a bit disturbing. If she ever gets a boob job I doubt that I could continue watching her on TV…she just wouldn’t look the same with boobs. Leave that chore to Gi–look at my tits!–ada.
14 April // Nov 28, 2007 at 12:49 pm
Haineaux, I’m glad you mentioned that.
I tend to think that if you give a spoon a blowjob in your underwear for FHM, you’re inviting the public to be conscious of your body. You can’t be surprised when people notice you’ve gained 30 pounds.
And if you are going to put on weight, just do it. Don’t pretend to be focused on “healthier choices” when your recipes are full of grease and you’re pimping donuts.
15 JohnnyBoy // Nov 28, 2007 at 1:06 pm
EWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Oh thanks a fucking LOT for posting THAT
16 JohnnyBoy // Nov 28, 2007 at 1:08 pm
and not cause of her looks……if I liked her she could look any way and that’d be okay…..but i seethingly hate her
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
17 Doug // Nov 28, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Thanks April, both for the edit and for the image. That confirms it…she’s no turn on. But that’s OK…there’s nothing wrong with “cute”. The world needs more “cute”, though perhaps it *is* time for someone else to shoulder the burden. I won’t deny she’s oversaturated…for a time Ashlee Simpson was as well, and I detest her to this day.
And you’re right, Haineux…they shouldn’t have bothered. Save the pages for the next Eva Longoria, not the latest Julia Child.
18 JohnnyBoy // Nov 28, 2007 at 1:22 pm
NO ! NOT ok ! That cloying expression sickens me
19 gary // Nov 28, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Judging her current appearance it’s clear that she swallows.
Thank you.
Coming up after a short break it’s Bert Convy and John Davidson !!
20 jasonthegreat // Nov 28, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Okay, I started reading these comments with the idea in mind that April had kind of lost it. I mean–I usually agree with her rants, but Racheal Ray? Hardly anyone who makes my blood boil.
But then I saw that FHM shot. And I’m disgusted. There’s something so gross about it. Especially for someone to take the environment she’s known in (the kitchen), where she’s perky, wholesome and family-oriented, and then morph it into what looks like the first still of a very bad Hustler chocolate and chubby girl fantasy. Yuck.
I can’t blame her for selling out in every way possible. After all, someone who is marginally talented should cash in her chips ASAP. But I can blame her for grossing me out by trying to look provacative and sexy. That’s just wrong.
21 JohnnyBoy // Nov 28, 2007 at 2:42 pm
jasonthegreat, you truly are….you summed the situation up perfectly
22 javier // Nov 28, 2007 at 3:54 pm
I should probably be a little embarrassed that this is the topic that finally convinced me to register and post. Raytard is particularly obnoxious because she epitomizes the term “phony”. And while I expect a fair amount of phoniness from celebs, she is about as disingenuous as they come. More and more you read that she can’t really cook – a lot of people who have tried her recipes will tell you that either they they took a lot longer than 30 minutes, or they flat-out taste like shit. So the skill she built her entire reputation on is sort of suspect.
Then there’s the perky, cheerful, girl-next-door personality she projects – all fine and good until you read that she smokes 2 packs of Marlboros a day and treats her employees like shit. I guarantee you won’t find either of those tidbits in her bio. Anyone who tries that hard to be perky for the cameras almost has to be a real-life bitch; it’s just the way those things seem to work. And I couldn’t care less if she smokes, but with that voice, who the hell does she think she’s hiding it from?
And then there’s the whore-like way she jumps at any paycheck that’s waved in her face. Three shows on the Food Network; the talk show; the magazine; the endless parade of endorsement deals; designing meals for the poor, unsuspecting astronauts…I’d really like to know what the hell she’s turning down. With this many irons in the fire I can’t figure out when she has time to eat or sleep.
Now that she’s managed to attain this dizzying, unexplainable level of success, all that’s really left is the inevitable crash-and-burn. Should make one hell of an E! True Hollywood Story some day.
23 April // Nov 28, 2007 at 4:00 pm
Oh, I think she finds the time to eat.
24 Speedy Cerviche // Nov 28, 2007 at 4:03 pm
I have a strange craving for silver dollar pancakes…
25 Speedy Cerviche // Nov 28, 2007 at 4:12 pm
Or maybe some pepperoni.
26 Rogue of the Celestial Night // Nov 28, 2007 at 4:17 pm
Dang girl, you’re a bit obsessive with RR.
Go get a dunkin donuts coffee and forgitaboutit.
27 sleepytako // Nov 28, 2007 at 5:16 pm
Judging by the cover, I’m guessing that Rachel only wants white kids listen to her mix-tape. At least that spares the rest of world from her.
28 bjimba // Nov 28, 2007 at 6:37 pm
I thought it was pretty funny that you posted this the same day as this Get Fuzzy strip:
http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/archive/getfuzzy-20071128.html
29 Voodoo cake // Nov 28, 2007 at 7:48 pm
April please pinch me, all of this is beyond surreal.
I have found another Rachael!
It is a voodoo’ian dream, somebody please put the chocolate spoon back in her hand!!
30 karen // Nov 28, 2007 at 7:50 pm
I think I had Giada confused with Rachel Ray when this ridiculous limerick showed up (uninvited) in my brain yesterday:
I once lived in west Cupertino,
Which is nothing at all like west Reno.
She’s not from Nevada -
Her name is Giada.
She eats way too much cioppino.
31 JohnnyBoy // Nov 28, 2007 at 8:00 pm
“Oh, I think she finds the time to eat.”
Thanks April, this elicited a nearly-forgotten memory of an obnoxious and thick-butted woman I used to work with named Laura Howe (who we soon dubbed Laura Cowe)
Anyway, her brown-nosing suck-up ways earned her an article in the company newsletter describing her oh-so-busy day.
Incl;uding a mention that at 12:30, a co-worker reminded her that it was time for lunch ! Like she had to be reminded !
32 Auntie Vera Charles // Nov 28, 2007 at 9:10 pm
EVOO is a great lube.
33 JohnnyBoy // Nov 28, 2007 at 9:19 pm
RACHAELRAY DELENDA EST
Initially, I was annoyed
Her antics I could just avoid
But overkill ain’t overjoyed
And Rachael Ray must be destroyed
I’m now a case for Sigmund Freud
Of happiness I’m now devoid
I hate that walking hemorrhoid
And Rachael Ray must be destroyed
And in the end you’ll have enjoyed
The tactics that have been employed
The weapons they will be deployed
And Rachael Ray will be destroyed
34 jim // Nov 28, 2007 at 9:24 pm
Rachel Ray is the inanity of evil – spewing non-words through a rictus “have some more snake-oil, baby” grin. I get that leer in my face when I go shopping too.
Ubiquitous perky donut pimp. Irony lives. She really IS beginning to resemble a BigBox franchise … so thanks for the inside scoop on mixtapes. Officially DOA as of 2007, what a pity, I still had one dusty old blank one unopened.
35 karen // Nov 28, 2007 at 10:07 pm
that clueless bitch has her own line of cookware
at kohls dot com please don’t even look there
36 karen // Nov 28, 2007 at 11:08 pm
Do not look kindly upon Ms. Ray’s blight,
Rage, rage against the buying of her shite.
37 jandu // Nov 29, 2007 at 12:34 am
Where’s my friend Shannon? I thought she’d be all over the meal’s queen. RR is a fat whore who swallows. I want more cake posts.
A flower cake and Rachel Ray…2 great tastes that taste great together.
38 Brandex // Nov 29, 2007 at 12:36 am
I also thought that Rachael Ray was getting pretty hefty when I saw her in that Ritz cracker commercial.
She doesn’t make me all that angry, as I have always considered her to be a half-assed Home Economics teacher. Almost everything she cooks is something that any Special Ed. student of the kitchen could make, and since more and more people can’t cook worth a damn, beginners probably find her show very accessible. At least she makes more of an effort than Sandra fucking Lee and her ever present seasoning packets.
Still, the one meal my girlfriend wouldn’t eat (and she loves potted meat) was a soup from a Rachael Ray cookbook that my father gave to me because he didn’t want it. It took a hell of a lot longer than 30 minutes and was pretty bland. Also, it’s no surprise that Ray-Ray is getting fat because she puts cheese on damn near everything. She must crap out a Parmigiano-Reggiano brick every time she uses the toilet.
39 JohnnyBoy // Nov 29, 2007 at 7:08 am
Flabberjocky
“Beware the RachaelRay, my son!
The giant ass and thighs to match!
She’s on the Ritz and weighs a ton
with EVOO in her snatch!”
40 jim // Nov 29, 2007 at 9:33 am
Wow, karen (36) – bullseye.
I believe we have a winner!
Referencing classic poetry WHILE using “shite” is da bomb.
Okay, it’s suddenly 100% not funny now.
EVOO is in the dictionary?!?
Stop the creature before its malevolent spores destroy the world.
It’s already eating our language.
41 pal Jacky // Nov 29, 2007 at 2:53 pm
However, with Lewis carroll, one can usually find a direct quote for any occasion.
‘It seems a shame’ the walrus said,
‘to play them such a trick.
After we have brought them out so far
and made them trot so quick!
the Carpenter said nothing but
“the butter is spread too thick’.
42 pal Jacky // Nov 29, 2007 at 4:09 pm
The history channel had a show hunting for bigfoot last night. What the hell has gone wrong there? Don’t get me wrong I love laughing at crazy people as much as the next person, but not on the history channel. They had an all women team who thought bigfoot was turned off by men and these women sang christmas carols to try to attract the monster. I saw on ‘married with children’ once that they might have had more luck if they were all menstraiting. When women are out smarted by Peg and Kelly bundy, the best thing to do is give them airtime on ‘the history channel.
43 albo // Nov 29, 2007 at 4:58 pm
Oh, April, that first recipe of hers you linked to is nothing compared to this:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/rachael_ray/recipe/0,,FOOD_9928_27870,00.html
Mini cheeseburger salad with yellow mustard vinegarette. And you have to click and see this abomination.
44 jasonthegreat // Nov 29, 2007 at 5:39 pm
Okay, that mini cheeseburger salad is completely disgusting.
I’m now fully on board. Rachael Ray must perish.
45 JohnnyBoy // Nov 29, 2007 at 6:35 pm
Spot on, as always, paljacky…as shown by:
“eat me”
–lewis carroll.
46 steve // Nov 29, 2007 at 8:17 pm
RR is a fucking stoner: the fat ass from eating Sonic mac’n'cheese balls and Arby’s cheesecake poppers, smoker’s voice, dunkin donuts, and shit like that cheeseburger salad. and she still managed to cram some fucking EVOO in there (for drizzling).
47 steve // Nov 29, 2007 at 8:21 pm
in fact, let’s start a “worst crap I made (and ate!) when I was stoned” competition. the winner has to make that cheeseburger salad and take a photo of it. April and John, care to be the judges? I’m only assuming you would know bad food when you see it; I’m not suggesting that you would participate in the making of it.
48 JohnnyBoy // Nov 29, 2007 at 8:40 pm
Cheerios and Ginger Ale
49 Shannon // Nov 29, 2007 at 9:14 pm
jandu,
My apologies for not ringing my buzzer sooner but I haven’t been checking as often as I was. See I was busy working in my *real* garden and making food for my *real* husband. RR and Martha are cunts who spend their days trying to make the average woman feel stupid so they will buy the products they shill.
I guess guys sort of have the same shit shoved at them day after day with all the erectile disfunction drugs.
When I was growing up the only problems that the TV shoved in our faces was *ring around the collar* and asking Mrs. Olsen why we make a shitty cup of coffee.
50 Shannon // Nov 29, 2007 at 9:15 pm
Oh, and olives, soda crackers and orange juice.
51 Farfel // Nov 29, 2007 at 9:36 pm
Well, Darn! I’m really torn about Dunkin’ Donuts now. On the one hand, They Might Be Giants does the tunes on the commercials. On the other hand…well, no. Rachel Ray trumps all. Dunkin’ Donuts is on the Off Limits list (along with Ritz & Triscuit) until she disappears. Soon, I hope- I really LIKE Triscuits!
52 javier // Nov 29, 2007 at 11:25 pm
Worst crap I ever made while stoned? Saltine crackers with butter on them.
I’m not proud.
53 pal Jacky // Nov 29, 2007 at 11:26 pm
What kind of white trash with money would write a recipe that calls for both extra virgin olive oil and french’s mustard? I’d make the guddam salad but I don’t have any EVOO to drizzle on the burgers. All I’ve got is oil made from extra slutty olives. , but perhaps no one will notice. Also I hope no one notices that I’m just gonna buy a half dozen McDonald’s dollar double cheeseburgers and throw the patties from them onto the greenish black fuzzie mass that was once a head of red leaf at the bottom of my crisper section. Don’t worry, I grind my own mustard powder when I make salad dressing so, overall, it will be classier than hers.
54 pal Jacky // Nov 29, 2007 at 11:34 pm
My favorite blender drink was frozen orange juice reconstituted with vodka.
55 Syr Paine // Nov 30, 2007 at 5:12 am
My girlfriend and I were just remarking the other day about how heavy she had been getting lately. Then the thought came up about how terrible she looked.
Living in Indiana affords me the simplistic life without a Dunkin’ Dog-nuts. Now that Ray is a spokesperson for DD, I am ECSTATIC that there is no DD here! To top that one off, it means that the commercials that innundate my television watching is not saturated with more of Ray’s chins on it!
Jacky? Get the blender out ’cause I need a drink!
56 pierce // Nov 30, 2007 at 7:51 am
God, I love you! I never minded her until she was EVERYWHERE! What annoys me the most is this word creation crap. So clever! E.V.O.O. is not a fucking word!
People treat her like she’s Thackeray because she says things like “Spoontula”.
Good God.
57 JohnnyBoy // Nov 30, 2007 at 8:55 am
I’m not going to let her vapid visage prevent me from enjoying Ritz Crackers and Dunkin’ Donuts Coffee
58 JoeEkaitis // Nov 30, 2007 at 12:18 pm
So what’s left?
Yep, children’s books. Someday, she’ll blurt “I’d like to do a children’s book” into an open mic, the heavens will open and 7-figure offers will rain from the sky.
Ever notice celebrities never say they want to “write” a children’s book? That’s the job of the ghostwriter who’ll get a flat fee that would barely buy a set of Rachael Ray knives and none of the royalties.
59 JohnnyBoy // Nov 30, 2007 at 1:38 pm
I should write an anti-Rachael Ray children’s book (yes, I did say WRITE ! )
Some rays are rays of hope…how bout this one…….NOPE !
Now don’t you mope Because this Ray is just a dope
60 cts125 // Nov 30, 2007 at 1:43 pm
You know I could give a rats ass about Rachel Ray. It’s actually pretty easy to just ignore her..she’s just the latest harmless media fad
but…
what’s up with you getting so riled up about her…and then going the weight-issue/appearance way. I mean based on your recent ‘make-over’ (based on all the photos you post of your recent advertising appearance) is it not classic pot calling kettle. You have devolved into yet another modern media clone..gym-toned, thin, color-balanced bland ‘personality’. And to resort to fat name-calling jokes…that’s beyond lame and just demonstrates your own self-satisfied smugness.
61 John Foley // Nov 30, 2007 at 5:26 pm
@JohnnyBoy-
I’m not going to let her vapid visage prevent me from enjoying Ritz Crackers and Dunkin’ Donuts Coffee
That’s right. Don’t take it out on the coffee.
62 JohnnyBoy // Nov 30, 2007 at 6:05 pm
cts125, you miss an important point
April could be big as a house and I would still think she’s absolutely wonderful.
Rachael Ray could have the smokingest body ever, and I would still despise her with every fiber of my being
Actually, you DO have a point…..on the top of your head
63 JohnnyBoy // Nov 30, 2007 at 6:12 pm
John Foley, yes I know it’s not the coffee’s fault. It didn’t ask to be promoted by Smarm-Ray
Seriously, though, I’m giving some thought to just how evil the Dunkin Donuts Corporation would have to be before I’d stop enjoying their coffee.
Monstrously evil, I suppose. I’m rather selfish in matters such as these
64 prisonersdilema // Dec 1, 2007 at 6:46 pm
Up until now, I’ve always been able to ignore R.R., she’s just another in a long line of Bullshitters, that adorn commericals with their emptyness, just like the empty products they sell to us.
And that after all his her allure, she’s just one big hole, completely empty, who can accomodate any manner of objects into the vast cavern of her being, in other words shes a simulcra, just another empty product, from corporate food giants who sell brightly colored boxes mostly full of air. Just like her.
65 BadGurl_404 // Dec 9, 2007 at 10:01 pm
Personally, I think RaeRay is annoypid!
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