Everyone I know was sick last month. Everyone but me.
I have to admit, I was feeling pretty smug about that. I didn’t catch whatever it was you all had, and since I was about to leave the country, I felt sure I was going to miss this one entirely.
How wrong I was!
Because now, not only do I have whatever you all had, I have the super Swiss-Bavarian-German-Austrian strain of whatever the fuck you all had.
That’s right, I have the ass-reaming fascistic version, where you not only cough and sneeze and run a fever, but you also have to do road work and pledge your allegiance to the government while cleaning the stables in the snow. You know what I’m talking about.
I certainly don’t. I am completely delirious. I don’t know what the fuck is going on.
I stopped taking Nyquil yesterday because it was exhausting me. The dreams were way too much work. I’m already bone-tired, I couldn’t handle it.
You know how when you dream, things just happen? You’re somewhere, and then that changes and you’re somewhere else?
Not with Nyquil. With Nyquil, you dream every little God damned thing, or at least I do, and it’s horrible.
For example, I dreamt I was getting on a train with John. I got on first, and turned around, and took my bags from John, and then he got on with his, and then we walked up and down the car looking for our seats. When we found them, we had to unhook our carry-on bags from the suitcases so we could put everything on the racks over our seats. And then we had to take off our gloves and our hats and our coats, and we had to hang all of those up, and then we had to look through all of our papers for our rail passes and passports. And then the conductor came through, and he looked at everything and asked us some questions about where we had the pass validated, and where were we headed, and then we asked him how long would it take to get to Visp.
Jesus Christ! It was stressful enough the first time.
So, yeah, I’m off of Nyquil now. Which is fine because I have so much disease coursing through me right now that I feel like I’m on something anyway. Really, I don’t know why more people aren’t out there running barefoot in the snow and licking children’s hands. Fever is nature’s high!
Where was I?
Anyway, I have lots to tell you, as you can imagine. We had Christmas in Vienna, New Year’s in Germany and my birthday at the Matterhorn. We had fondue and chocolate and schnitzel until it hurt. We saw people in lederhosen and feathered hats and yodeling in a beer hall, and they were just customers. John and I both almost got into fist fights in Munich, and nether of us were drunk at the time. And perhaps most importantly, we saw an Asian gay man with an Italian name sing Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious in German.
But those are stories that will have to wait for the fever to break.
In the meantime, I am slowly and painfully uploading pictures to Flickr. I have a group of shots up from Christmas, and I’m working on the Salzburg pictures next.
Click on the Flickr badge over to the right there, or use this link.
Happy New Year!
23 responses so far ↓
1 bnaivar // Jan 9, 2008 at 5:56 pm
Two words for ya…Sweat Lodge. At least that way you can justify the hallucinations.
2 Auntie Vera Charles // Jan 9, 2008 at 6:19 pm
I can’t smell the fish. My nose is clogged.
3 JohnnyBoy // Jan 9, 2008 at 7:23 pm
Third !
Welcome back !
4 paper-hat // Jan 9, 2008 at 8:46 pm
The little bastards took me out New Years weekend, four days of total cellular warfare with no defense except Tylenol and Robitussin Cough long acting. After this one I am going for the flu shot from now on!
The new photos are gorgeous what a perfect vacation!
Stay warm, get well soon.
5 Scott // Jan 10, 2008 at 12:12 am
What? No Lebkuchen?
6 Shannon // Jan 10, 2008 at 2:26 am
I caught the crud at my company Christmas party. Yet another reason to avoid those affairs. Or we caught it at my husband’s Christmas party where once again we brought a kick-ass present for the gift exchange and in return got a Christmas CD (re-gifted) and a Target gift card which when we tried to return the CD (we have enough dreck as it is) we discovered the CD was not from Target and the gift card was a whole steamin’ $5.
I am just now ceasing to cough up floresent green flem. The hubby got it within five days. So it was a Happy New Year.
7 Shannon // Jan 10, 2008 at 2:28 am
I am however glad April is back within the confines of the American Medical practices. We behavied and cleaned up quite nicely after the party and we only took the car twice. Reno was fun however, if the Federalies ask any questions the donkey was over 18.
8 JohnnyBoy // Jan 10, 2008 at 6:47 am
Eighth !
9 OLDFART // Jan 10, 2008 at 9:45 am
We thought that April did a header into the fake smow at Big Bear and she now thinks she’s Brittany Spears. This would explain why she likes bad music from talentless singers. Good thing it’s only a cold.
10 pal Jacky // Jan 10, 2008 at 2:50 pm
sometimes just turning turning it around can breathe new life into a stale riddle.
“I’ll take ‘creation’ for 300, Alex’
“So they wouldn’t leave snail trails’
“why did God give women legs?’
11 pal Jacky // Jan 10, 2008 at 3:05 pm
I was on dayquil up until yesterday. Dayquil really doesn’t work as well as Nyquill, it just sort of enhances what’s already there. For instance, I thought everyone I saw on television needed to be anally raped. In the past 24 hours it has only been the load on the Kia commercial dancing about to ‘Maniac’ which is the only real normal reaction to the ad. BTW It isn’t a sexual thing. Its a ned Beatty/deliverance or J.G. Ballard/’Why I want to fuck ronald reagan’thing.
12 Stretch // Jan 10, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Welcome “AHCHOO” Back!!
13 bnaivar // Jan 10, 2008 at 6:10 pm
As I was looking at your pictures I realized that you two got Christmas about a half a day ahead of the rest of us.
14 John Foley // Jan 10, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Yes, bnaivar, but at least the people here shower once in a while.
15 Stretch // Jan 11, 2008 at 10:01 am
MEOW!! - Sounds like April got out of there just in time
http://www.laobserved.com/
16 jim // Jan 11, 2008 at 11:47 am
“I don’t know what the fuck is going on.”
Then what with the delerium & all, you can probably SMELL how envious that sentence makes me feel, all the way from there. Can I get one jar of contaminated lung-gerbils via airmail, please?
17 jim // Jan 11, 2008 at 12:00 pm
… & I’d watch out about asking God to have your back, yo. Word! That Job nigger went & played by his rules - straight up & for real, & the G-Man fucked his shit up, & I mean we’re talkin’ HARD. Just to win a bet. Man, that is one COLD motherfucker.
18 pal Jacky // Jan 11, 2008 at 3:13 pm
while we are discussing anal rape on commerical characters, I think a chat about a perp is needed. My first choice would be the energizer bunny in a gerbil jam. However, if traditional sodomy is required then I have top go with the burger king. With a big fake phallus to match his big fake head. of course in apple’s ‘mac vs. PC’ ads, I would hope he would call on the help of his rival, Jack in the Box.
19 JohnnyBoy // Jan 11, 2008 at 6:00 pm
The way those Burger King commercials have been lately, you’re not too far off the mark
20 pal Jacky // Jan 11, 2008 at 8:06 pm
here’s a funny joke to show to your grandparents or inlaws. It requires a demonstraition, so I’ll sort of walk through it. First assure them that this joke has nothing to do with anal rape or getting fist fucked by freddy Kruger. My relatives always assume the worst when it is one of my jokes. Say ” what is this?” then squat like a hippy shitting in the woods. You can even drop trou to make it more authentic. they will probably give you that look like it is another one of those ass jokes that they find no humor in. At that point try to calm them down by telling them it is not in the least bit rude. Hopefully, your legs won’t give out before they give up. When they are completely baffled. exclaim “Richard Gere celebrating ground hog’s day!!!! “
21 JohnnyBoy // Jan 11, 2008 at 8:28 pm
now THAT’S comedy !
22 JohnnyBoy // Jan 11, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Twenty First !
23 Shannon // Jan 13, 2008 at 11:45 pm
The Aristocrats!
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