Everybody relax.
Marc and I have not abandoned the podcasts. We hit a little snag is all, and it’s my fault.
First of all, I’ve had some technical problems. I can’t access files I need, and the podcasts are just stacking up like planes at O’Hare. We have to stop recording them until I can solve these issues, and I’m hoping to have it sorted out by the end of the day.
Secondly, they changed my meds. I know it sounds like I’m trying to be funny, but I’m not. There’s no comedy here. Ask John how funny it is.
To keep my cancer from coming back, I have to be on medication for the rest of my life. And the shit is kind of dangerous, so they keep lowering the dosage every few months. Take too much, your bones start breaking like matzohs and not even Sally Field can help you.
The down side is that your metabolism takes a nap when you lower the dose, so everything you eat immediately goes to your ass and stays there, like a homemade hemorrhoid pillow.
On top of that, you’re freezing all the time. Except for when you’re really hot and sweaty. Oh! And you’re a bitch.
Plus you’re in a fog. Just lost. I tried to leave the house for a walk yesterday and I forgot what I was doing at least twice. I kept putting bottles of water in my bag, like I was going to Vegas on foot.
I realize that blogging about your health is only slightly less interesting than blogging about your computer problems, so I’ll keep both mercifully short in this post. Suffice it to say that they cut my dosage by 50 milligrams last week, I gained 5 pounds in 2 days and I’ve spent a lot of time walking around and crying. Good times.
It’s bad. I’m not going to lie to you.
Anyway, just give me a day or two here and I’ll get it together.
50 responses so far ↓
1 nix // Jan 29, 2008 at 11:55 am
Jesus, April, I’m so sorry to hear that (although I’m pretty sure you’re sick of people telling you they’re sorry so we can pretend I didn’t say it). Take all of the time you need!
2 klabenz // Jan 29, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Hang in there, girl!
This site should make you feel better: http://purgatorio1.com/
3 BeckyinLA // Jan 29, 2008 at 1:02 pm
I’ll try to wait patiently, but honestly your podcasts are better than anything currently on the radio (including Sirius).
4 EverybodysLittlePony // Jan 29, 2008 at 1:03 pm
My girlfriend is on high doses of Prednisone, the same stuff that gave Jerry Lewis a ham-head (though mercifully she is without those symptoms), and she goes through similar problems.
Try to have patience with yourself, most of all, and in your fleeting moments of sanity, thank John and everyone around you for their patience as well. Things will work out.
Just take it easy and look after yourself. We’ll be here when you’re ready to go take on the day.
5 OLDFART // Jan 29, 2008 at 1:16 pm
I ‘m not on any medication myself but welcome to my world. Get better soon.
6 jandu // Jan 29, 2008 at 2:02 pm
If you start tanning too much, and start leaving hysterical messages on your website…..then make a movie called “Glitter,” I’m going to be very scared.
7 inerror // Jan 29, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Sounds like the Law Firm of April and Marc needs to find someone with expertise in podcast creation and management to get the job done. I do not wish what must be a bewildering and stressful task on anyone (well maybe a few deserving individuals). April – save your moments of lucidity for the poscast – not the technocrap. There must be someone knowledgeable in poscast production willing to do that in exchange for a banner ad on the page or something.
8 DavidinBerkeley // Jan 29, 2008 at 5:35 pm
I will get the levity out of the way quickly by asking “whatkindofamachinethatisinthepicture and howcanIgetoneinmyhome?”
I will now move on to sympathy and say “Thank you for the hard work you’ve put into the podcasts so far and for sharing them (and your hilarious take on your pain) with us.”
9 trace // Jan 29, 2008 at 5:43 pm
April,
As a long time reader I just wanted to let you know you have every right to be bitchy! I am sorry you are going through these pain -in-the -ass medication changes. That can’t be fun. Please hang in there. Your sarcasm and wit makes me laugh, your sweet dogs make me smile from the inside out and your John seems to be an all around great guy! Keep your chin up!
Trace
10 John Foley // Jan 29, 2008 at 5:50 pm
I love you, sweet girl. You poor thing. I’ll take care of you.
11 JohnnyBoy // Jan 29, 2008 at 6:55 pm
I don’t know what to do except that I’m always thinking positive thoughts and sending them your way.
and hell, you can talk about anything you want.
Except for the occasional crank that slips in, you’re among friends here and we do care a bunch
12 jim // Jan 29, 2008 at 7:05 pm
You can never overestimate the capability of life to serve you yet another Dagwood-sized shit sandwich from its majestic all-you-can-stand-&-then-some buffet.
In my heart, I’m sending you a big chocolate cake … generously laced with Demerol.
“NOM NOM NOM.”
Best wishes from the snowy north.
13 renedrivers // Jan 29, 2008 at 7:18 pm
Hey April! After reading your blog entry today I just wanted to leave a comment. Your site and your humor have made me laugh countless times. When I have a horrible day, I know I can find something here to make it not so horrible. So the way I look at it, is I owe you. So don’t sweat posting about your medical problems, don’t worry about being bitchy.
Hope you feel better soon!
14 stina // Jan 29, 2008 at 7:23 pm
We love you April. And apparently John is the most adorable thing ever. Hang in there…we’ll still all be here, mouthy as ever.
15 Talklvr // Jan 29, 2008 at 8:00 pm
April, I’m so sorry to hear your difficulties with the meds you have to take. I hope the “bad” passes quickly!! I’m glad John is in your life to help with your needs~~~plus your great puppies to give you love & joy! Take care April, you are in my thoughts.
TALKLVR
16 JohnnyQuest // Jan 29, 2008 at 8:00 pm
We love you April! Try this: leave yourself some cryptic notes of encouragement in little hiding places. Then when you find them in the fog, they’ll be like magic messages from your Good Twin! Hang in there, Foley…
17 JohnnyQuest // Jan 29, 2008 at 8:03 pm
P.S. Heard you filling in for Bree on the weekend. You were great, but I giggled because it seemed like you “toned it down” for the KTLK weekend listeners. Now, though, I think it might have been the medication…
18 xlistnerliz // Jan 29, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Love you April. Feel better soon! Until then, I hope all of us can amuse YOU for a change……uh, I got nothin’
Hugs,
Liz
19 adorisday // Jan 30, 2008 at 1:20 am
My sister had a bad bout with cancer about the same time April was going through it, three months after her wedding. I couldn’t sleep for months and gained weight in shaky fear about it. It is a painfully scary thing — I especially remember saying prayers when April revealed her voice might be affected by surgery. April not only survived, she still has reserves of laughter to give away to us. Hat’s off to you, April.
20 phoebefigalilly // Jan 30, 2008 at 9:31 am
Just in case you didn’t know we like and expect you bitchy.
But truly we like you healthy. Get better take your time and take good care. And you’ve obviously got John by your side taking care, thats a nice plus!
21 lupeSan // Jan 30, 2008 at 10:35 am
If it’s any consolation, I just think your great. You’re one of the few people on the web who really make me laugh out loud. So that’s something.
22 bnaivar // Jan 30, 2008 at 11:08 am
Tell John that the sofa bed is ready. Unless he feels Georgia isn’t far enough.
23 weizer2 // Jan 30, 2008 at 1:03 pm
I love you April!! (well…as much as you can love someone without actually meeting them) I truly enjoy the podcasts with you and Marc. Nothing wrong with being a little bitchy…I get that way myself from time to time, and I don’t need drugs to get there either. Take good care of you and I hope only the best for you and John. (And your two little dogs too!!)
24 Knavish Rogue // Jan 30, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Waiting.
Patiently.
25 JohnnyBoy // Jan 30, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Here’s a joke:
The patient awakened after the operation to find herself in a room with all the blinds drawn.
“Why are all the blinds closed?” she asked her doctor.
“Well,” the surgeon responded, “They’re fighting a huge fire across the street, and we didn’t want you to wake up and think the operation had failed.”
26 socalfrank // Jan 30, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Love you April!
John Foley, I think I know a way to make April feel…incredible. I heard Sam Kinneson talk about it once. If you can do the alphabet with your tongue…..need I say more?
27 pal Jacky // Jan 30, 2008 at 5:31 pm
what
28 pal Jacky // Jan 30, 2008 at 5:38 pm
evolution tells us one thing. The egg came before the chicken. There was an almost chicken that laid the first real chicken egg. naturally to the almost chicken it was a mutant, but to us it was the real deal. This is a tad simplification as anyone who has seen dog breeders know(more like lots of almost chickens whose real chicken mutant children started breeding with one another). but nonetheless. The egg came first.
29 pal Jacky // Jan 30, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Someone had to tell me, I should have noticed it myself. Comedy central did a count down on Sunday of the viewers 20 favorite stand-up comics and Carlos Mencia did not make the list. Chelsea handler made #17 and she only did one special that was rerun at three am for the voting. whereas Carlos’ made prime time several times. Of course, when #1 is a ventriloquist, the data can be interpreted two ways. Perhaps only crazy people voted or it is time for april to pick up daddy’s dolls. C’mon dolls…dolls.
30 Annemarie // Jan 30, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Oh sweetie, I hope you feel better soon.
31 gary // Jan 31, 2008 at 1:10 am
I concur with the rest.
And most of all give yourself a break.
This wave shall pass, doll.
32 Andre // Jan 31, 2008 at 1:39 am
Take care of yourself, April.
I’ll try to fill the void by shoveling in some fresh manure.
I see Eva Longoria is appearing in some new piece of cinematic crap and she’s going by the name “Eva Longoria-Parker.
Has that ever worked?
Robin Wright-Penn? Merideth Baxter-Birney? Joanne Whalley-Kilmer?
Farrah Fawcett-Majors?!?
This marriage is doomed to failure simply because she’s hyphenated her husbands name on to hers.
Prove me wrong.
33 JohnnyBoy // Jan 31, 2008 at 6:57 am
I knew a girl who sensibly didn’t do the hyphen-thingy because her name was Traci Koch (pronounced like the former NY Mayor) and her husband’s name was Roche, so she didn’t want to be Traci Koch-Roche
34 JohnnyBoy // Jan 31, 2008 at 6:57 am
I’d go with Eva Fangoria, sounds cooler
35 pal Jacky // Jan 31, 2008 at 7:12 am
C’mon Britney’s been 5150′d twice this month and none of us can even get one? I tried yesterday, but those damn torrance police officers recognized me. “Bill are you trying to get out of Jury duty, again?’ they asked as I wandered about the Del Amo fashion center wearing nothing but a lawn and leaf bag. That is just silly. I’ve got a ‘charles manson got a bum rap’ t-shirt I wear when I’m called to jury duty. works every time.
36 JohnnyBoy // Jan 31, 2008 at 8:41 am
Charlie Don’t Surf !
37 Stretch // Jan 31, 2008 at 9:58 am
ANDRE – you’re on to something !!
Vicki Lawrence-Schultz
Rebecca Romain-Stamos
Charles Nelson-Reily
David Hyde-Pierce
38 pal Jacky // Jan 31, 2008 at 11:11 am
i’m still waiting for the Vicki and Martin Lawrence/mama and Big mama tour. Also I found out that Bush was in my fair city yesterday which explains why the police were not interested in processing me in on a psych hold. They were undoubtedly keeping the staff at Del Amo hospital free in case president was in need.
http://www.delamotreatment.com/
see how happy that place makes people -thorazine’, say it like Humbert humbert.-thor-a-zine-.
39 JohnnyBoy // Jan 31, 2008 at 12:40 pm
But pal Jacky, you’re the sanest man alive…..no wait, that’s ME, I’m the sanest man alive.
well, one of us is, in any case
Del Amo? more like SMELL Amo ! (I love that joke)
40 pal Jacky // Jan 31, 2008 at 5:20 pm
again, you don’t get thrown in the bin for being crazy, you get thrown in for acting crazy. Ask any inmate. Between breakfast and morning group you get to walk around the grounds and look at shrubberies. For you newbies, The more you act up in group the higher the dose of meds you get at 11:30. They usually take half an hour to kick in so skip lunch to get the full ‘empty stomach’ effect. The ones they give you at night are better, but they make you sooooosleeeepy, you can’t really enjoy them.
41 juddybentley // Jan 31, 2008 at 6:33 pm
get well soon, hey maybe make Mark do the CPU work, he’s got more free time now right… lol.. j/k
I love you both and miss the entertainment and politics!
What a bunch of losers on KTLK and KABC now, I’m so sick of the self serving, right wing hacks, are they on the bush payroll, the biggests losers are Larry Elder, Sean Hannity, Mark Levin, Mike Medved, Denise Prager, Hugh Hewitt, Rusty Humphrey, Sean Ryma, god what a bunch of hyporcrits! They all had IVY league eduactions yet don’t like professsors, huh? They’re all war mongers, yet nobody in any of their families is willing to serve? They don’t believe in immigration but they want cheap prices and don’t want to build a ricockulous wall ! You and Mark know how to tell the truth and we need more of that ! I hope you feel better soon ! Think positive or atleast neutral… JuddyB
42 unclemike // Jan 31, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Take your time, girl.
Oh, and feel better. That’s a fucking order.
43 gary // Jan 31, 2008 at 10:11 pm
The DelAmo mall is still there?
Jesus, is Chess King still open?
How about The Wild Pair?
I need a pair of tassled cowboy boots….with the tips, of course.Duh.
BTW,Juddy, isn’t KTLK a lefty station?
Oh yeah. It is.
44 inerror // Jan 31, 2008 at 11:30 pm
KTLK is lefty talk…just TALK. They had one host that did more than talk the talk of the left. He used to have actual suggestions on solutions to problems like a “Green Hour” where knowledgeable guests would let listeners know things they could to to reduce their negative impact on the environment without having Angelina Jolie’s expense account. And he used to challenge the Enrons of the world that were bankrupting states’ governments. But not anymore. Now KTLK is just talk. Although I can’t tell you too much more because I don’t really listen to them much anymore. They probably don’t care anyway. Maybe Angelina Jolie listens. I doubt it.
45 Spaizgirl // Feb 1, 2008 at 11:06 am
Feel better and hang in there!
46 pal Jacky // Feb 2, 2008 at 9:29 am
del amo fashion is thriving. Chess king is gone but They tore down the montgomery wards side and put in a cineplex and new trash culture stores. It just gets better and better. I hope they erect some townhomes or condos on the property. I’d buy there and never need to leave. Does anyone know of a home hospice service for people in their late forties?
47 JohnnyBoy // Feb 2, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Yeah, they’re called hookers
48 JohnnyBoy // Feb 2, 2008 at 7:58 pm
On February 2, 2008, 5 women were shot dead at a Lane Bryant outlet in the Brookside Marketplace in the Chicago suburb of Tinley Park. Police found the victims shortly after receiving an emergency call at 10:45 a.m. The suspect is believed to be an black male approximately 5′ 9″ and 230 to 260 pounds.
At first I thought, that’s not very sporting, but then I saw this: Police believe there was a robbery that “went rather poorly.”
from MSN:”In a Target store across the parking lot from Lane Bryant, terrified customers were herded to the front as police with pistols and rifles drawn went up and down the aisles and into storerooms searching for the gunman.”
I’d be terrified too if I was in a “Target” store
49 Stretch // Feb 6, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Potato -Potatoe
Del Amo – Del Amoe?
Spensers Gifts still there? They were always there for my fake dog doo needss
50 JohnnyBoy // Feb 6, 2008 at 2:34 pm
I bought a black-light poster there in the 70s
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