Sweet Jesus, it’s another podcast.
Yes, I’ve managed to squeeze out one more, and even I’m impressed.
This one appears to be the longest so far, coming in at over 45 minutes. But don’t be alarmed! They may be getting longer, but they aren’t getting more interesting. Don’t fix it if it ain’t broke, I always say.
Hopefully I’ll be able to keep this up, but I’m not making any promises. I’ve got jury duty starting tomorrow, and I have no idea what that entails since I’ve never had to do it. I get the idea that it’ll be fun though, as my summons says there’s a vending machine on the 4th floor.
We’ll see what happens. I’m only one woman.
56 responses so far ↓
1 coasterboy // Feb 13, 2008 at 1:03 am
Wow, this is almost like a regular thing! How cool!
2 socalfrank // Feb 13, 2008 at 9:42 am
Jury Duty will give you plenty to talk about for future podcasts. The efficiency of our court systems, the entertainment, and don’t forget the generous compensation. And if you get picked for a trial, wow, super bonus bonanza of entertainment!
3 Knavish Rogue // Feb 13, 2008 at 10:11 am
One woman and twelve angry men. Woot!
4 jim // Feb 13, 2008 at 10:18 am
Uh-oh, these things are getting habit-forming.
You don’t need “phalanx” unless you’re signing up to command a legion of Roman soldiers to go invade Gaul. Pretty sure you’re about 2,000 years late for that gig.
Like that non-ending ending too. But what the hell do I know?
Who’s the phone-voice for the Uplift Hotline?
5 John Foley // Feb 13, 2008 at 11:37 am
Dear jim-
pha·lanx /ˈfeɪlæŋks, ˈfælæŋks/
1. (in ancient Greece) a group of heavily armed infantry formed in ranks and files close and deep, with shields joined and long spears overlapping.
2. any body of troops in close array.
3. a number of individuals, esp. persons united for a common purpose.
4. a compact or closely massed body of persons, animals, or things.
=====
You must look past definition 1, and don’t go questioning my April’s word usements.
6 Mavis // Feb 13, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Trust me April, your experience with jury duty, will get you plenty of material for your podcasts.
Good luck, and take plenty of notes.
7 coasterboy // Feb 13, 2008 at 1:15 pm
usements? Shouldn’t you use useage?
8 JohnnyBoy // Feb 13, 2008 at 2:01 pm
I’d give him the phalange
9 pal Jacky // Feb 13, 2008 at 2:37 pm
no’ usements’ is good in a lewis carrol way. it connotes ‘amusements’, ‘bemusements’ and ‘abusements’ all at once. Speaking of the latter, don’t tell me I’m the only man wholooks at pauly shore and doesn’t instantly what to wank off into something he is going to eat. Also I’m sure a few women while performing oral sex have had the thought. When the time cums, I’d love to spit into a bowl of pauly shore shore’s soup”
10 pal Jacky // Feb 13, 2008 at 2:39 pm
furthermore, ‘phalanx’ was also the name of a video game from the super nintendo era.
11 John Foley // Feb 13, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Actually, I stole the (pretend) word “usements” from the underrated Steve Martin vehicle “L.A. Story.”
12 pal Jacky // Feb 13, 2008 at 8:24 pm
http://www.popular.nu/omg-wtf/2008/02/11/tyra-banks-messes-herself-holy-crap-literally/
I’d like to hear Penn Gillette explain this without a higher power at work.
13 JohnnyBoy // Feb 13, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Never ever tire of the tyra diarrhea
14 coasterboy // Feb 13, 2008 at 9:27 pm
I just drove by the “99 cent only” store, and there is a sign out front announcing that they are “Your Valentines Headquarters!
Wow! Nothing says “I love you” like a 99 cent box of chocolates!
15 pal Jacky // Feb 14, 2008 at 12:02 am
actually, nothing says ‘i love you’ like a piece of J.C. penney crap jewelry that you can hypnotize her with. Even J.C. penny thinks so, they are running it as an ad like it is a good thing.
16 coasterboy // Feb 14, 2008 at 1:26 am
Wow…Usements from LA Story? How obscure is that!
“And some of these buildings are TWENTY years old!”
17 Andre // Feb 14, 2008 at 1:45 am
As long as we’re pursuing non-sequiturs here (and as long as I have no other place to express my thoughts)…
Is there a clause in Ryan Seacrest’s American Idol contract this year that disallows any contestant from being more than two inches taller than he is? I know he’s small in stature (not that there’s anything wrong with that) because last year when he stood next to Jordan Sparks it looked like the Attack of the Fifty-Foot Woman. I was afraid she was going to swallow him. Tonight, there didn’t seem to be a finalist who could top 5′5″.
Are American Idols shrinking?
18 pal Jacky // Feb 14, 2008 at 9:17 am
is that Whoopi’s ex Ted Dansen in blackface? I hope he’s not celebrating black history month. Geeez, good he has just been playing with his potty again. at celebrity psych ward, everyone wins when ted dansen plays with his potty.
19 pal Jacky // Feb 14, 2008 at 9:47 am
i promised I would not do that. Not even if Patty duke was gurgling ‘waaa eerr’ and running into the wall, yesterday she thought she was her identical cousin. Tomorrow we are hoping for neely O’hara.
20 jim // Feb 14, 2008 at 10:37 am
No, John, that wasn’t snark.
Just smarm.
Not that I make it easy to tell them apart, most times.
Actually I like “usements” more than “phalanx” - & I said she didn’t need it, not that I don’t like it.
I like it. The same way I like me some female orgasms - which are also (biologically) not needful. Blessed be the needless, for theirs is the kingdom of The Shopping Channel, & all that cal.
Hey, come to think of it, a new legion of hardened gladiators might form any day now, the way shit’s been going. Keep that phalanx handy.
Oh, & some really honkin’ big siege engines.
Mmm, siege engines … sigh!
21 socalfrank // Feb 14, 2008 at 10:37 am
April & John, I understand your complaints and desire to move out of your apartment, but have you really thought it through? Isn’t putting up with some fire engines an acceptable tradeoff for living 2 doors down from Danny Bonaducci?
Disegad if he has already moved out himself.
22 socalfrank // Feb 14, 2008 at 10:38 am
My “r” key must have stuck. It was “Disregard”
23 paper-hat // Feb 14, 2008 at 11:18 am
Sully is now the daredevil of Highland Ave!
so now Sully wants to take April and John to get a new and better leash 
24 Glo // Feb 14, 2008 at 11:42 am
“Who’s the phone-voice for the Uplift Hotline?”
Was that Auntie Vera?
25 pal Jacky // Feb 14, 2008 at 5:46 pm
When tyra banks is shitting herself and Bai ling is shoplifting, it is really hard not to go ‘celebrity psych ward’. Furthermore, has anyone seen Kathleen Turner on her book tour. It is like she inhaled jerry lewis when his head was at its fattest.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/23144398/
China blue my hairy butt.
26 paper-hat // Feb 14, 2008 at 6:38 pm
no, no, no! Sully “needs” to take April and John to get a better leash
and…
Hot off the press today!!!… from the Orange County Register!!!
April and Marc are in the Orange County Register!!!!
27 coasterboy // Feb 14, 2008 at 11:55 pm
You mean that posts are supposed to be on a topic?
Who knew?
28 inerror // Feb 15, 2008 at 1:10 am
KTLK gave Phil Hendrie the time slot Mr K had at FI and ABC. . . uck. Someone there must hate him.
29 inerror // Feb 15, 2008 at 1:14 am
Mr. K (Marc Germain) that is. Just goes to show though that you can be all washed up and still make a come-back.
30 radiotaylor // Feb 15, 2008 at 8:26 am
“One woman and twelve angry men. Woot!”
Sounds kinky!
31 JohnnyBoy // Feb 15, 2008 at 8:41 am
They should have all-midget juries
32 OLDFART // Feb 15, 2008 at 10:29 am
I think that I am too late. April, if you read this blog this morning ,wear a large spinning bow tie to jury duty. You will be home in an hour.
33 JohnnyBoy // Feb 15, 2008 at 11:27 am
Unlikely out here in Suffolk County Long Island. On the murder trial i was on, the defense attorney wore lederhosen
34 pal Jacky // Feb 15, 2008 at 2:00 pm
i heard phil hendrie last night. I was surprised, the dial was there when I turned on the radio. it was horrible. has he been taking the same meds as kathleen turner? I turned it to kfi to hear if george noori had someone worth listening to. I went to bed early last night.
35 pal Jacky // Feb 15, 2008 at 2:02 pm
hendrie was doing margret gray and i love margret gray. This does not end well for progessive talk radio in los angeles.
36 pal Jacky // Feb 15, 2008 at 2:06 pm
if one goes back a long time hendrie replaced mr. kfi on kfi.
37 pal Jacky // Feb 15, 2008 at 2:11 pm
johnny,did the ‘my attorney is insane’ defense work?
38 JohnnyBoy // Feb 15, 2008 at 5:43 pm
No, even though he dressed like The Joker another day. No makeup, but a purple suit with a bright green shirt, and a red tie.
We the jury considered making one day Hawaiian Shirt Day, but we wimped out
39 JohnnyBoy // Feb 15, 2008 at 5:49 pm
“I do not agree with what you have to say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to sit alone in your room, and not come hear the music play”
Cabaret Voltaire
40 pal Jacky // Feb 15, 2008 at 11:02 pm
it is the little things that make me smile. like rush limbaugh saying all the things they expect him change since McCain seems like he is going to be the candidate. no one wants you to change. we want you to go away, viagrta and all. my god i’m giddy enough to vote republican
41 pal Jacky // Feb 16, 2008 at 1:14 pm
http://www.therealkfi.com/index.html
don’t like john and ken, read this, think john Ziegler is a major matt asswipe, read this. This is themost lurid, self absorbed compelling, piece of propaganda I have ever read about L.A. radio. It is almost like a grand conspiracy theorists diatribe where a few truthful unsaid things get cuisenarted up withscads self centered rightousness and it is just a beautiful read. John and ken, bill handel and john ziegler all come off looking like insane crackpots. It is a good thing.
42 pal Jacky // Feb 16, 2008 at 1:24 pm
i got to proofread better, but if you only have time to listen to one clip, let it be the one where bill handel blows up on jaime. John Ziegler is really deluded about his self importance and he gives revelations about john and ken as if no one could realize them on their own.
43 pal Jacky // Feb 16, 2008 at 1:32 pm
http://www.pencilnecks.com/Laura.htm
i know, but when was the last time you actually looked at these dr. laura pics.
44 JohnnyBoy // Feb 16, 2008 at 5:02 pm
not long ago enough
45 pal Jacky // Feb 16, 2008 at 8:45 pm
in this day and age the seem rather naive, but in my day a women had to be a real tramp to let a guy photograph her nude, and dr. laura is older than I am. she was avery dirty girl at one point and i think she would still be if her cuuz wasn’t all dried up and no one wants it anyway,
46 JohnnyBoy // Feb 17, 2008 at 1:38 am
She could have a show on NPR called “Hypocrisy Now”
47 coasterboy // Feb 17, 2008 at 2:19 am
As I recall, while at KKKFI, she had a mental meltdown at the station, and was lying on the floor “vibrating like a carp out of water”…
48 pal Jacky // Feb 17, 2008 at 1:50 pm
is she wearing underwear under those jeans? certainly not the panties she is wearing in that one pose. and the pigtail shot. All she had to do was say, ‘this is the kind of crap which happens when you act the whore with married men’, and her fuckin’ morality message would across with some real meaning. I do believe in atonement and redemption, but admitting ones mistakes is always the first step.
49 DavidinBerkeley // Feb 17, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Dear Ms. Winchell,
Please do your best to do a stint on a trial. It will cure you of any curiousity/urge to do it again. Ever.
Someone told me once that a good way to get picked is to say and/or present yourself as “an open book.”
Another good way to get picked (I saw it happen), is to P.O. the judge. One young woman was continuing on a panel that was being questioned, was late the next day (probably honestly), and while standing and giving her excuse (like in grade school or something), she also mentioned that she had thought over the question (from yesterday) that she WOULD be uncomfortable being on a trial involving some form of violence enacted against a person. The judge VERY promptly, while she stood there in fact, deemed her fit to serve. Wow. (And the judge was a woman, too.)
Best of luck!
50 DavidinBerkeley // Feb 17, 2008 at 2:51 pm
And thank you for all the new podcasts!
51 JohnnyBoy // Feb 17, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Here’s the case i was on…It was shown live in full on Court TV: http://www.courttv.com/archive/casefiles/verdicts/pulinario.html
52 JohnnyBoy // Feb 17, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Fifty Two !
53 pal Jacky // Feb 18, 2008 at 9:06 pm
you sent a ‘tard to prison?
54 JohnnyBoy // Feb 19, 2008 at 7:01 am
Learning disability my ass, I always wondered why they can’t learn fractions and the metric system in school, but have no problems with grams and eighths on the street.
Basically, the boyfriend ordered her to execute his rival dealer.
55 karen10ason // Feb 23, 2008 at 10:07 am
I love your podcasts…you guys are hilarious.
You talk about a website gina.com…but I can’t get there…I’ve tried spelling it many different ways. I’ve been to a clothing store site, a triple x site and I’m assuming that’s not it.
Can you post the right site?
56 DavidinBerkeley // Feb 25, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Who issssssssss the guy on the anssssssssswering ssssssssservice with the ssssssibilant voicccccccccce?
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