Whenever I tell you about a new podcast, I do a little artwork to accompany the post. By now you may have gathered that these Photoshops have something to do with what you’re about to hear.
So I’m guessing you’re a little uncomfortable right now.
Trust me, it’s not as bad as you think it is. And it doesn’t happen until the last three and half minutes, so you have plenty of time to get drunk.
This, however, is much worse than you can imagine. It happens at about the four and a half minute mark, so don’t say I didn’t warn you. And yes, that is Marc singing. Go here and follow step by step directions to make it your ringtone. Seriously. I dare you.
Don’t be alarmed, it’s not a recurring segment. Just an unfortunate moment we’re all ashamed of.
Here’s something else we’re all ashamed of: the sound quality of this podcast. This one makes CB look like Hi-Def. But in our defense, Marc’s computer crashed in the middle of recording, and we had to rely on my back-up to restore his half of the conversation. And as you know, I don’t care how anyone sounds but me.
Yes, it’s nice to know that after ten of these, we still don’t know what the hell we’re doing.
I can tell you this, though. The last 3 and a half minutes of this podcast are completely and utterly brilliant.
- Special thanks to Auntie Vera Charles and John Foley
56 responses so far ↓
1 jasonthegreat // Feb 28, 2008 at 7:18 am
Apparently Marc is using his newly found spare time (aka “unemployment time”) to attend the Wing School of Voice and Song Massacre.
2 Knavish Rogue // Feb 28, 2008 at 9:01 am
OMG. Leonard Pynth Garnell reviews Bad Pornography Cinema.
“That really wasn’t very good at all, was it? Awful! Just awful!”
3 JohnnyBoy // Feb 28, 2008 at 9:08 am
Thurd !
4 John Foley // Feb 28, 2008 at 9:38 am
Your sports guy sounds like a nerd.
5 JohnnyBoy // Feb 28, 2008 at 10:39 am
Had you spelt it “nurd”, I would have laughed.
“He who spelt it, dealt it”
Oscur Wilde
6 wills7577 // Feb 28, 2008 at 11:19 am
Oh MY GOD, the lost KFI years, This ranks with the discovery of the dead sea scrolls!!!! Post! Post Soon!! Please!!!!
7 wills7577 // Feb 28, 2008 at 11:20 am
I’ll pay!
8 Speedy Cerviche // Feb 28, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Oh lawd, is dat sum Dr. Laura pr0n?
9 pal Jacky // Feb 28, 2008 at 5:02 pm
i heard a bit of phil hendrie last night. Most of it was just awful. Then there was a few moments of brilliance. Clara bingham was discussing the usefullness of water boarding on children with down syndrome. Was it worth it? i don’t know, coast to coast had a ’scientist’ who believed that the earth was 6ooo years old and the grand canyon was formed in three to four weeks. so it was better than the alternative.
10 eBayEnigma // Feb 28, 2008 at 5:59 pm
BRAVO! BRAVO! This is your best podcast yet! I can relate to Marc…I too, was born without a sports gene, and have had sports explained to me on numerous occasions, and still don’t “get” it. Porn for the Blind was priceless! Keep up the good work. =)
11 JohnnyBoy // Feb 28, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Grand Canyon formed in 3 to 4 weeks? Utter nonsense ! It took the Chinese and Irish railroad workers a minimum of 3-4 MONTHS to dig that out
12 paper-hat // Feb 28, 2008 at 6:30 pm
This is a viagra for my funny bone, a huge monumental resplendent one, like a kickstand! All four of you on the podcast, together is fantastic! Hip- Hip- Hooray… Auntie is back!!!
13 paper-hat // Feb 28, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Digg granny’s strapless ipod bra!
14 JohnnyBoy // Feb 28, 2008 at 7:27 pm
I like her sunglasses
15 michael // Feb 28, 2008 at 9:20 pm
Auntie Vera Charles as the “Porn For The Blind” commentator was deliciously funny! Thanks to April and Mark for another delightful podcast.
16 inerror // Feb 28, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Marc talking fossil fuels as April diddles herself to the tune of a vibrator on rechargeable batteries while reading ‘porn for the blind’. OK – that might be monetizeable.
Archives from the KFI catacombs sounds interesting too. Wonder if there are any of Leykis before he swore off politics and blew out his pipes.
17 Xanadude // Feb 28, 2008 at 9:54 pm
am i the last person on earth to finally figure out who auntie vera charles is?
18 gary // Feb 28, 2008 at 10:56 pm
First day in camp, pitchers do fielding drills. And this goes on all spring and into the season.
So Roger’s excuse that he thought the broken bat he threw at Piazza was the ball……please.
Go fuck yourself, Rocket.
I feel so sorry for your kids, Kobe, Kylie, Kevin, Kramer, and Koko.
19 Auntie Vera Charles // Feb 28, 2008 at 11:38 pm
No, Xanadude lovie. I still haven’t figured it out.
Confused kisses,
Vera
20 Megs // Feb 28, 2008 at 11:50 pm
I forgot to silence my phone today during my physics lecture hall. Normally, I would’ve gotten kicked out of class and sent to bed without dinner, but my professor thought it was so funny, I got extra credit. I have no idea what happened today, but I will be skipping class next week in gratitude of Marc Germain’s generosity.
21 pal Jacky // Feb 29, 2008 at 3:05 pm
actually that photo may be dr. laura’s mother. Remember, dr. laura cut her mother off about the time she was writing her book on the ten commandments(i’m not making this up). there is proof that DL has broken nine of the ‘em and it is only a matter of time before the bodies turn up for the last ‘thou shall not kill’ to make it a perfect 10.
22 pal Jacky // Feb 29, 2008 at 3:12 pm
okay, so it isn’t dr. l’s mom. It could be auntie vera posing as dr. laura’s mother. I myself prefer to pose as cybill shepherd. Only at pool parties of course. I’ll be the one at the end of the diving board.
23 John Foley // Feb 29, 2008 at 4:46 pm
WHAT THE FUCK!!??
How come nobody told me I speak with a lisp?!
There goes my rep.
24 Speedy Cerviche // Feb 29, 2008 at 5:39 pm
You didn’t know about the listhp? Why did you think April was so crazy for you?
Have you not met Mick Kuisel? The guy was a fucking art director! For April, straight man+gay mannerisms=serious relationship material.
What, you think your extensive knowledge of obscure Alan Moore trivia sealed the deal?
25 John Foley // Feb 29, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Good point.
26 JohnnyBoy // Feb 29, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Perhaps not…I was duly impressed that my wife knew who Forry Ackerman was, and we were 16 at the time, but that sealed the deal for me !
27 Xanadude // Feb 29, 2008 at 7:35 pm
vera, dear: are your professional initials dbb?
28 Auntie Vera Charles // Feb 29, 2008 at 8:16 pm
Xanadude,
Nope. But he’s a friend.
John Foley,
That lisp makes you cuddly.
29 jim // Feb 29, 2008 at 9:42 pm
John does not lisp.
Nor does he mince.
Lisping was tres chic in Shakespeare’s day you know.
Mmm, baby, stretch marks are SO HOT … that ringtone is SO NOT.
Damn – you need to copyright “Suicide MILF” … it’ll pay for itself over & over in lawsuits!
Boy, I’ll be surfing right over & thoughtfully providing some warm soft Bukkake commentary for those needy blind pervs. I guess I need to check first to see if someone already made use of the Goatse goldmine.
Hey, gotta do my part, y’know.
30 JohnnyBoy // Feb 29, 2008 at 10:51 pm
Bukkake mushrooms?
31 clevelandphil // Mar 1, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Don’t forget April used to date Kevin Spacey and her last boyfriend wore panties.
32 pal Jacky // Mar 1, 2008 at 1:33 pm
shitaki mushrooms?
hee hee I wrote shit.
33 pal Jacky // Mar 1, 2008 at 1:56 pm
so what if Jimmy kimmel’s fucking ben affleck. We all know it is just his turn.
34 coasterboy // Mar 1, 2008 at 2:13 pm
I’d fuck Ben Affleck. Just so long as I could tape his mouth shut while doing it.
35 pal Jacky // Mar 1, 2008 at 3:20 pm
coaster boy, keep in mind next week is ron jeremy’s turn. so, it may not be the tight little butt that matt damen raved about in college.
36 pal Jacky // Mar 1, 2008 at 3:22 pm
then there’s heath jr., the bowel movement ben had who is being raised without a father.
37 pal Jacky // Mar 1, 2008 at 8:52 pm
furthermore, joan collins, morgan fairchild, dolly parton are old news. Now I want to stuff plastic surgery disaster lisa rinna. The goal of any taxidermist is to try to make the carcass lifelike. Imagine the challenge of those lips alone.
38 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 1, 2008 at 10:53 pm
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER
39 pal Jacky // Mar 2, 2008 at 11:45 am
joan rivers would be easy to stuff. No one looks at her face. In fact, one could pose a scarecrow with a JR placard between mary tyler moore and carol burnett and get away with it.
Lisa renna on the other hand would take skill even to flay.Peelingoff her face would start easy enough. but one false move and those lips would burst. No doubt, White ass fat would be expelled. It would look like hummis but smell like tooth plaque. that won’t mend with stcky tape and glue like Joan rivers.
40 TW // Mar 2, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Dear Auntie, are your professional initials: SSB?
Your secret is safe with me…
41 coasterboy // Mar 2, 2008 at 4:07 pm
me thinks pal jacky is losing it….
42 JohnnyBoy // Mar 2, 2008 at 5:51 pm
yeah, I mean, like, can’t she just be freeze-dried?
43 mduggan900 // Mar 2, 2008 at 6:48 pm
Do you know where I can see the picture without
the I-pods?
44 TW // Mar 2, 2008 at 7:36 pm
If Walt Disney can be freeze-dried so can she!
45 pal Jacky // Mar 2, 2008 at 8:25 pm
http://members.tripod.com/~Motomom/Image15.jpg
see i’m not that insane. this three year old was embalmed 80 years ago. nontheless, freeze drying is so impersonal. Taxidermy is so hands on. furthermore, if a person gets that much plastic surgery, they owe it too the world to be that way for all eternity. I just don’t think sawdust would work for lisa renna’s lips. i’m gonna’ go with dead flies.
46 pal Jacky // Mar 2, 2008 at 8:32 pm
mduggan900, what a repugnant thought. aren’t there fetish areas on ‘xtube’ for perverts like yourself. This site has got a standard of decency that must be maintained at all costs.
http://www.lisarinna.com/lisa-rinna-pictures.htm
C’mon people. all of you want to peel her face off. just admit it to yourself.
47 pal Jacky // Mar 2, 2008 at 8:48 pm
okay, I’ll stop with the lisa rinna, But the ‘tvguide channel’ has been milking her and joey fatone’s oscar coverage all week. Everytime I look at her I ask myself exactly where across the scalp line I would make the first cut. What is so abnormal about that?
48 darkkommissar // Mar 3, 2008 at 1:10 am
The pron for the blind was interesting, The voice was classic, the podcast was hilarious. Don’t change it. We need more off the cuff type spoken word programming actually made by people with talent, podcasts of this caliber are rare indeed.
49 Stretch // Mar 3, 2008 at 1:14 pm
“Mmm, baby, stretch marks are SO HOT … ”
did someone say STRETCH?!!!
50 Stretch // Mar 3, 2008 at 1:20 pm
If it wasn’t for Catchers – pitchers would have nothing to do
“Bottoms UP!!”
51 ListenerJustin // Mar 3, 2008 at 2:22 pm
A thought… April, have you considered doing an entry on pornfortheblind using your text-to-speech software? I think I might laugh myself into a lather.
52 jim // Mar 3, 2008 at 8:27 pm
Whoa … the likes of Bang-Bros., being described by the voice of Steven Hawkings … i yi yi!
Cold shower time.
53 ListenerJustin // Mar 4, 2008 at 10:40 am
Well now I’m just starting to drip with ideas!
“Monsterbang, as dictated by Stephen Hawking.”
It’s a shame that he never read the Word List from way back when.
54 DavidinBerkeley // Mar 8, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Late to the party as usual.
Even though I read the lisping remark above, the power of suggestion did not make me hear it at all. He just sounded kind-of boyish, like his voice hadn’t made the leap from youth to “pimply-voiced” yet.
I agree that Mr. K should start working the Wing thing more.
55 Andre // Apr 4, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Finally got a chance to listen to this podcast
It’s titty-fucking brilliant!
56 link:funformobile.com | Hottags // Jun 12, 2008 at 9:50 pm
[...] Oooh, your podcast is so bigBy now you may have gathered that the Photoshops I use to illustrate these posts have something to do with to the content of the podcast. So it would stand to reason that you’re a little uncomfortable right now. …April Winchell – http://www.aprilwinchell.com [...]
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