While Mark and I were recording today’s podcast, we noticed that we were both getting kind of depressed.
It might have had something to do with the fact that we’re both out of work, or that talk radio is imploding, or that Robin Williams is divorcing the nanny. Hard to say.
The point is, there is a kind of bittersweet quality to this podcast, which gets a bit more introspective in some spots than you may be comfortable with.
To that I say, grow a dick.
And the next fucker who posts some comment about Macs vs. PCs gets shitcanned.
May cause worsening depression or the emergence of suicidality [27:46m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download
169 responses so far ↓
1 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 27, 2008 at 10:45 pm
There once was a man who could boast
that due to his low latency host
when blog posts went down,
he was always around
to sit down and type swiftly “FIRST POST”
2 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 27, 2008 at 10:57 pm
Also,
How could you ever hope to shitcan me
When your Mac is so inferior to my PC?
Couplets FTW.
3 Gina // Mar 27, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Marc’s just jealous that he didn’t discover Il Divo.
4 Mavis // Mar 27, 2008 at 11:17 pm
I would grow a dick, but my boobs are heavy enough, the dick would drag me under.
5 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 27, 2008 at 11:55 pm
April.
That’s not the prime directive.
That’s “The Butterfly Effect”.
6 pal Jacky // Mar 28, 2008 at 12:34 am
today on Jerry springer, there was a transexual who raised a young man who was having an affair with her fiance. I won’t conjecture whether or not there were any underpants being worn, but I really think that no MALE underpants were being worn.
7 JohnnyBoy // Mar 28, 2008 at 6:14 am
A philosopher (say it like knee-chay)
got some sand in his crotch at the beach-ay
but he muttered and cursed
that he couldn’t be first
with a post like a Speedy Cerviche
8 Scott // Mar 28, 2008 at 7:17 am
Coming to Boston? Here’s a bit of friendly advice. This being Red Sox territory it’s OK to be a closet Yankees fan but don’t wear their cap in public. I think my wife is trying to kill me. She bought me a Yankee cap to wear to Fenway Park! No, I didn’t wear it. Nice try, eh?
Hope I bump into you. Probably not.
9 JohnnyBoy // Mar 28, 2008 at 9:02 am
What about talking about “Big” Macs ?
and BLTs instead of PCs ?
Dogs don’t care it’s not bacon
10 JohnnyBoy // Mar 28, 2008 at 9:37 am
It’s not that one believes that it IS butter, but rather that one CANNOT believe that it is NOT butter, so it’s some sort of faith-based spread or lack thereof.
or something
11 jim // Mar 28, 2008 at 9:46 am
“Grow a dick” - boy, you ARE getting all mellow & introspective.
Ah, just go firebomb a couple of orphanages, & you’ll be feeling back in tip-top shape before the smoke clears!
“If there’s ever any doubt, wash it off after you pull out” is as close as I’m getting to unleashing my muse on such a fine website as this. My cruelty has its limits.
12 pal Jacky // Mar 28, 2008 at 11:35 am
Bertulucci’s butter butt sex scene didn’t have to be filmed with real butter. It’s not like the asian toe sucking scene in his ‘the last emperor’. I’ve scene lots of his films and the only three scenes I remember are those two and the Liv Tyler pulling up her stockings like Maria braun.
13 April // Mar 28, 2008 at 11:39 am
Can someone comment on the podcast? You know, just for a change?
14 like a gopher // Mar 28, 2008 at 11:46 am
I’ll try to comment on the podcast once I have listened to it, but for now I just want to say this:
An anagram of “Spiro Agnew” (Nixon’s VP) is: “Grow a penis.”
15 John Foley // Mar 28, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Dick Cavett has weighed in!
16 socalfrank // Mar 28, 2008 at 12:20 pm
When I comment on the Podcast, I get ignored unless I say something about hottie John Foley.
April,
What program do you use for your graphics? I especially like today’s with the little ipods in the bowl…very clever. It could be an art piece at a gallery.
17 unfallable // Mar 28, 2008 at 12:23 pm
April’s mistake was putting Data Rescue - or anything - on the computer after mistakenly deleting files. Data Rescue probably overwrote the tattered remains of the deleted files, dashing forever any possibility outside the National Security Administration of recovering the file. A technician would have attached a second hard drive to your system with the date recovery program on it and recovered from your drive to the second drive. Did you RTFI? Sorry for the abbreciation. Just keeping it clean. Being OCD and AR is a requirement for computer technician - especially data recovery. Anyone who does that for a living works in a cleanroom and lives in a bathroom.
Obviously from the tone of this podcast, Marc and April have been blacklisted by the Bush Shadow Government. They’d like to heard us all off a cliff like lemmings. The 60’s had “underground radio”. In 2K we have the podcast underground. Minion on. Or maybe we should all jump off a cliff.
18 April // Mar 28, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Socalfrank - I use Photoshop. I had a rudimentary grasp of it before I met John, but he’s an actual expert, so I’ve learned quite a bit. And I get all girly and excited when he says, “Good Photoshop!”
And he is pretty hot.
Unfallable - You nailed it. That is EXACTLY what I did wrong.
19 JohnnyBoy // Mar 28, 2008 at 12:59 pm
I can’t comment on the podcast, I don’t have speakers here
20 JohnnyBoy // Mar 28, 2008 at 1:00 pm
I could continue with my listing of famous Belgiums if you like
21 socalfrank // Mar 28, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Mark, don’t feel bad, I have 5 cars…at least none of mine are gay though…except the Range Rover
22 John Foley // Mar 28, 2008 at 1:25 pm
So it won’t bother anyone if I get myself a nice Cabriolet, then? I was thinking of something in Hunter Green…
23 unfallable // Mar 28, 2008 at 1:51 pm
JohnnyBoy - Try the 99¢ Store for speakers.
I think the exceptional quality of the graphics heading these podcasts are as much a result of good photography as postporcessing with PhotoShop, which is a bear to learn. Perhaps it’s April’s crisis selling of the family treasures that brought about that ability.
I notice the podcast is considerably smaller in size without deteriment in audio quality to my abused ears. No one listening on 99¢ Store speakers would ever know the difference. I can’t and my speakers cost $100.
24 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 28, 2008 at 2:00 pm
I have horrible speakers. They came with an old shitty Dell that I bought some time ago.
My headphones, on the other hand, are quite nice. They came with overdrawn checking accounts and buyer’s remorse.
However, April sounds good on anything. I would venture that April l even sounds good on ibuds, though I would never condescend to testing that theory. A man must have some standards, you know.
25 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 28, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Is anyone else getting a LiveJournal vibe here? Now we’re posting our audio setups, next thing you know we’ll be telling each other our “mood” and what song we’re currently listening to.
26 pal Jacky // Mar 28, 2008 at 2:15 pm
this bush’s shadow government is meaningless. They don’t give a shit about anybody and to many it is easier to think the black ops are a commin’ than to realize how insignificant we are in the government’s eye.
27 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 28, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Bush’s shadow government is made up entirely of gay men who go commando.
28 Ariel // Mar 28, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Speedy Cerviche : “That’s not the prime directive. That’s’“The Butterfly Effect’.”
Actually, it is the[i] temporal[/i] prime directive.
You, sir, have been out-nerded.
29 Little Dog // Mar 28, 2008 at 2:29 pm
I have been laid bare by this meandering mental masturbation of a podcast. I am at once compelled to listen, relishing in the salacious sounds of more interesting people than myself chatting, but, alas I am left with discontented frustration as it comes to an anticlimactic end. I search for meaning where there is only musings. I seek satisfaction where there is only silliness. And yet I cannot click away – what power possesses me to eavesdrop upon a casual conversation with no more substance than a Taco Bell taquito? Your power to draw me in with talk of unchanged sheets and dishless sinks belies an ominous omen for the very fate of our great human society. Am I, like so many, truly bereft of enough brainpower to find something better to do with my time? Or worse – has my ability to entertain myself been stripped from me by carcinogenic doses of mediocrity. Then again, perhaps you are the cure not the cause. The slight aftertaste of bitter almonds your podcast leaves upon my soul may yet serve to make me stronger. I will ponder this as I wait in impatient anticipation for your next podcast. I will also be brooding about what to do with my extremely gay car.
30 adorisday // Mar 28, 2008 at 2:42 pm
I previously discussed Macs because I remember seeing an old blog of Aprils when she took her laptop outside filming her doggies or something … and was pleasantly surprised to see her holding an iBook. Truly, I have switched all of my friends — including my 77 year old mother and 88 year old stepdad — to Macs. (They’re currently checking their iMac remotely from an around-the-world cruise). In other words, it was all a Mac-ode to April’s good taste and getting her up on Leopard so she doesn’t have to think about back ups.
But anyway, I admit I was nearly in tears over April’s current P-cast. The ability to be vulnerable about our own flaws and mistakes and to do it publicly — especially about how she blew $ on “friends” back in the day — geez louise April, it makes us love you all the more. You are a rare gem and that’s why we are here. Funny, too.
31 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 28, 2008 at 2:48 pm
@ Ariel
I may have been out-nerded, but at least I can use HTML tags properly!
OH SNAP
32 mkf // Mar 28, 2008 at 3:07 pm
saving the podcast for the weekend as always, but yeah, the graphics are getting damned impressive.
33 pal Jacky // Mar 28, 2008 at 3:17 pm
so dane cook is part of bush’s shadow government. It all makes too much sense. How about our kid’s mom’s kid?
Does he wear underpants?
http://www.cloggie.org/proggold/2007/05/21/i-am-my-childs-mom/
34 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 28, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Uh-oh…
First paragraph: “Oh, how I love the smell of hung petards in the morning….”
Way to misunderstand an old saying, jackass. Who the hell wrote this? Any self-respecting Shakespeare reader knows that petards do not hang. They explode, sometimes hoisting people into the air in the process.
I liked the rest of the article, though. Nicely played, Jacky.
35 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 28, 2008 at 3:42 pm
How about this: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?cmd=Retrieve&db=pubmed&dopt=AbstractPlus&list_uids=8772014
Still no word on which participants were wearing undergarments and which were not.
36 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 28, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Oh, and this isn’t even taking into account the etymology of “petard”, which puts that original quote into a whole new embarrassing light.
37 albo // Mar 28, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Reading the brain-freezingly inane comments on this thread, you’d think this whole thing was a Dadaesque performance by spamming chatbots that has no relationship to the substance of the podcast.
God, the Interweb thingy is awesomely sucktastic.
38 Andre // Mar 28, 2008 at 5:00 pm
What’s a podcast?
After reading this thread I’ve decided you’re all a bunch of mental petards.
There. I said it.
39 bnaivar // Mar 28, 2008 at 5:33 pm
I loved the yiddish “Take me out to the ball game”.
40 April // Mar 28, 2008 at 5:37 pm
That’s Mandy Patinkin!
41 JohnnyBoy // Mar 28, 2008 at 5:40 pm
The temporal prime directive can be bypassed if one is caught in a Signore Roberto Temporal Causality Loop
42 JohnnyBoy // Mar 28, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Semi on-topic, I do NOT like my food touching, I eat M&Ms in color order as well as alphabetically, and I’ll send along some Jewgrass music
I have like 5 cupholders and 4 glove compartments and get 35 mpg in traffic
43 JohnnyBoy // Mar 28, 2008 at 5:57 pm
ok, sent
44 weizer2 // Mar 28, 2008 at 6:15 pm
I wonder if April will post what the surprise for John is just before they leave…or will we have to wait an encredible long week to find out? Will we receive any updates? It’s just wrong if we don’t.
45 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 28, 2008 at 6:39 pm
On topic comment, go.
Roflcopter (n): “The superior being of chatspeak, ‘roflcopter’ takes down all lollerbladers, lmaoplanes and various other outlawls. Pilots of the roflcopter often enjoy a nice crispy ZOMGBBQPIZZA and some lolmonade. Children also enjoy a good ride in the roflcopter, as it spreads smiles and festivals known as the ‘lolapalooza’ across the world.”
See also: http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Roflcopter
April, before you jump into that river, you should remember that this phrase, along with other similarly exuberant netisms (such as ZOMG and !!!1!one) are generally used in an ironic fashion.
46 pal Jacky // Mar 28, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Actually the whole subject is moot. These people do a fine job ensuring no man needs to walk around without underpants. And no women needs to walk around with a dickhole in hers.
http://www.exodus-international.org/
47 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 28, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Man oh man, that site looks like shit when you have Javascript disabled.
48 pal Jacky // Mar 28, 2008 at 7:38 pm
here’s a light and lively mental exercise for those of us who have more than one dog. Imagine yourself dropping dead on the floor and no one discovers your body or feeds the dogs. Imagine exactly which of you dogs would start feeding on your corpse first. It is really fun.
49 unfallable // Mar 28, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Canine master consumption is real. http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,600148282,00.html :
“First comes the daily licking of the deceased’s face and hands, then an eating away at these parts, then elsewhere. “There is no difference between dogs and cats when it comes to survival: Both will eat what they must.”
Far grimmer than the cases of dead owners, as reported in “The American Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology,” are the cases of elderly people who sadly signal weakness and vulnerability to groups of predatory dogs.”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=409885&in_page_id=1770
Just had to post this about a dog-eating catfish terrorizing a lake in Germany: http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2003/07/26/910645.htm
And it appears feral cats regularly make meals of casualties in war-torn areas: http://www.messybeast.com/cat-eat-man.htm
50 pal Jacky // Mar 28, 2008 at 8:15 pm
http://exodus.to/content/view/809/265/
the video at the bottom is the best part. I believe These people are now straight. furthermore, dr. laura did such a fantastic job raising her son her book on child rearing is a must read.
51 djs94124 // Mar 28, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Hi, April.
Just finished listening to the podcast. I’ve said this before, and I think it’s still true: You should consider engaging in more “serious” writing and/or discussions on the podcast. You are VERY insightful and have a lot of incredible personal experience to draw from. This was one of the better podcasts, in my humble opinion (notice I did not abbreviate this to “IMHO” in deference to your stated preference).
I don’t email often enough, but I just want to let you know that you and Auntie Vera continue to take up considerable space on my iPod. You are both wonderful at what you do, even if it seems to you like it’s nothing special. Making people laugh, and occasionally think, is nothing to be discounted.
Oh, and let me also add the obligatory “John is hot”, because he is.
-Dan in San Francisco
52 inerror // Mar 28, 2008 at 9:13 pm
I’d really like to hear more discussion of matters of a legal nature here on the Legal Offices of Marc and April podcast. All this talk about computing and movie star sightings and whoring politicians. When are we going to learn how to make a living suing people and institutions with deep pockets.
53 coasterboy // Mar 28, 2008 at 9:38 pm
I’d really like to hear more discussion of John Foley’s hottness here on the site. How about a picture of him, splayed on the hood of his Hunter Green Cabriolet?
54 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 28, 2008 at 9:38 pm
John.
Hey, John Foley…
55 rmsrmsrms // Mar 28, 2008 at 9:38 pm
I really enjoyed this pod cast. Gave me a little insight into a more personal side of April which is nice to know.
56 thefifthbeatle // Mar 28, 2008 at 9:48 pm
FIFTY-FOURTH
Also…the podcasts are great. I’m a longtime reader of this site and just now mustered up the courage to join in on the commenting.
One more thing, as a general OT question: when a new blog post is put on the site, is there an email notfication, and if so, can I disable it?
57 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 28, 2008 at 10:30 pm
thefifthbeatle, I think you mean “responses”.
Because the blog posts are written by April, and why would you want to miss those?
Also…
Hey, John…
John?
58 John Foley // Mar 28, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Right here!
59 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 28, 2008 at 10:55 pm
John, I hear you are quite the 3D animation master.
May I ask you what program you use and (if it is not too personal) the specs of your machine?
Thank you, sir.
60 socalfrank // Mar 29, 2008 at 12:39 pm
John Foley, I picture you in an Aston Martin convertible.
April, can I be your financial advisor? If you made that much money in those years, you should own units and houses and be semi-retired…and you could buy John his Aston Martin.
61 pal Jacky // Mar 29, 2008 at 1:28 pm
I shouldn’t have brought Dr. Laura’s son into the fray. Imagine a 13 year old boy, exploting porn for the first time on the net and coming across these of his mother:
http://www.robbscelebs.co.uk/noops096_18/dr_laura_schlessinger032.jpg
these would damge any kid let alone one whose mom thinks she knows best of everyone when it comes to parenting.
62 pal Jacky // Mar 29, 2008 at 1:30 pm
c’mon, the only way little deryk couldn’t be fucked up is if he turned out gay.
63 thefifthbeatle // Mar 29, 2008 at 1:54 pm
[i]thefifthbeatle, I think you mean “responses”.
Because the blog posts are written by April, and why would you want to miss those?[/i]
I meant the blog posts…I find email notification of anything sort of annoying (don’t ask, it’s a pet peeve).
64 JohnnyBoy // Mar 29, 2008 at 7:24 pm
hmmm…I don’t get notifications,and don’t recall turning anything off
must be some option somewhere
65 thefifthbeatle // Mar 29, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Oh, okay.
Thanks!
*slinks back into the shadows*
66 JohnnyBoy // Mar 29, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Don’t stay in the shadows too long, I’m sure everyone would agree that your input is welcome
67 pal Jacky // Mar 30, 2008 at 4:12 am
the answer to the dying and dog food question is easy. If you love your dogs enough and you die, then let ‘em have at you, if it keeps them going until you are found then you are providing for them in one last act of love. Anyhow the morgue is gonna do a lot worse than a few nibbles. Buzz saw that skull, me got brains to poke about in. Don’t die with your jewelery on. Is that gold fillings in them teeth. BTW, if you do die suddenly like that, you will be taken off to the Medical examiner’s.
68 eBayEnigma // Mar 30, 2008 at 11:05 am
SIXTY-EIGHT!
I feel as April does about abbreviations and texting. I guess I just don’t “get it.”
69 inerror // Mar 30, 2008 at 11:52 am
I envision a future in which the toxifyers of the planet - humans finally achieve their spècial death-wish. In time dogs form packs taking down any remaining surviving human, starting with the weak of course. Cats go ferile cleaning up the mess of human remains. Other more fit to the toxic environment clean up the remaining human remains. Eventually the Gaia purges herself of the effects of the toxic effects of humanity and evolution begins again with insect this time forming th basis of the next top species on the planet. Aliens in Alpha Centauri sit amused watching it all enfold on their intergallactic ‘reality show’ - “Who Wants to be an Earthling.”
70 pal Jacky // Mar 30, 2008 at 5:22 pm
does anyone else know anything about the kinescope entitled ’sheriff John goes to the bathroom?’ It is supposed to the ’60’s children’s T.V. show host taking a shit in front of several tykes. My guess is that the video never exsisted, just his penchant for pulling young kids into the room when he took a dump has warped into an urban legend of sorts. Of course, the ’skopes’ site is silent on this one. They would rather talk about walt disney’s head being frozen on a platter.
71 David // Mar 30, 2008 at 5:49 pm
April,
I’m a new fan, and I love your podcasts. Like ‘djs94124′ said, “You are wonderful at what you do…making people laugh and think.” I’m sure it’s very time consuming, but please continue to upload podcasts. You have lots of fans that appreciate you, and your hilarious take on this crazy world.
By the way, I hate texting! It’s so F***ING annoying.
72 JohnnyBoy // Mar 30, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Did you guys get The Sandy Becker Show or was that just an east coast production?
There’s no intact footage of the show, except for clips where he’s cursing, which is pretty damn good
73 inerror // Mar 30, 2008 at 5:55 pm
I’ve had enough damage to my inner child learning Winchell Mahoney was a bit off. Taking Sheriff John away would leave me with Engineer Bill, Bozo, Lambchop and that guy who played the “Fractured Flickers”. Now what kind of an influence could they have been?
To conclude my gloomy scenario though, all the domestic dogs and cats die from eating their intoxicated masters. The toxins have the effect of miniaturizing them whereupon they switch places with insects as the trodden upon and routinely exterminated species. Alpha Centaurans debate whether to blast the planet with their plasma bomb, removing it from sight like a wart on the ass of the cosmos.
74 inerror // Mar 30, 2008 at 6:08 pm
And lest I forget - Hobo Kelly.
75 inerror // Mar 31, 2008 at 12:20 am
If only this poor lady in Russia had had a dog:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=ad6_1206885771
76 eBayEnigma // Mar 31, 2008 at 8:52 am
I’m so old that I vaguely remember a children’s show with Andy Devine and a frog and a kitty cat that said the word, “NICE!”
77 jim // Mar 31, 2008 at 9:03 am
Ohh, yeah … the PODCAST.
Okay - the podcast was just tickety-boo.
Keep it sur/real.
A little timely omphaloskepsis never hurt anyone.
You haven’t lost it, girl.
If you ever start thinking you HAVE lost it, look behind the sofa. It’s probably just hiding.
78 JohnnyBoy // Mar 31, 2008 at 9:05 am
I only knew of Hobo Kelly from the book 1966 (which I highly recommend to anyone who was a kid during that year)
The author grew up in Southern CA, so youse guys might even enjoy it more than I did.
79 Stretch // Mar 31, 2008 at 10:20 am
SOCK IT TO ME
SOCK IT TO ME
SOCK IT TO ME
I SMELL FISH
SOCK IT TO ME
SOCK IT TO ME
80 JohnnyBoy // Mar 31, 2008 at 10:26 am
Your mother sews socks that smell
81 Andre // Mar 31, 2008 at 10:30 am
Ah, Hobo Kelly! That takes me back.
You’d think there’d be a dozen videos of her on youTube, but alas there’s only this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knnz9rBtW_E
I here she ran off with the “Luck Charms” leprechaun and eventually gave birth to Colin Farrell.
82 clevelandphil // Mar 31, 2008 at 11:43 am
Here something to cheer April and Mark up–Kathie Lee is back on television.
YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!
83 clevelandphil // Mar 31, 2008 at 11:51 am
Kentuck Fried Chicken should serve a bucket of chicken skin. That’s the only part of their chicken I like.
84 pal Jacky // Mar 31, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Performance pooping was actually quite a fad in hollywood during those days. Mostly for the monologue of the shitter during the act. It was said that Orson Wells would eat a extremely spicy bowl of chili every Tuesday for lunch, and that night recite Edna St. Vincent Milay poems to invited guests while dumping a stinking commode full. He would then liken himself to her candle in the fact he was ‘burning at both ends’.
It was even practiced at the Reagan white house. I think we would all love to have heard Ronnie describe his B.M. in his best ‘death valley days’ voice but instead it was Nancy. Her talk was usually a intimate love piece as if Ronnie was the only one in the room.
85 pal Jacky // Mar 31, 2008 at 12:21 pm
phil in one ’south park’ episode Cartman eats all the chicken skin off an entire bucket of KFC. This triggers Cartman thinking he is dead Check it out (season eight or later)
Quick ‘Kenny vs. Spenny’ update. Spenny has to act like a human bidet and cleanse kenny’s bunghole while sitting under him.
86 JohnnyBoy // Mar 31, 2008 at 12:35 pm
The power of Christ compels you to laugh
87 Stretch // Mar 31, 2008 at 12:50 pm
“Ah, Hobo Kelly! That takes me back. ”
Yes Andre -
We obviously grew up looking through the same cracked Magic Mirror
ONE WORD:
WONDERAMA
88 JohnnyBoy // Mar 31, 2008 at 12:56 pm
We had Wonderama on the East coast, the hosts were Sonny Fox, then Bob McAllister
89 Stretch // Mar 31, 2008 at 1:51 pm
“The power of Christ compels you to laugh”
actually it makes me giggle -
I live life by the BOOK OF SEUSS. (a series of books also written by a man)
What better life advice than:
“I would not could not with a goat”
“I would not could not in a boat”
Don’t get me even started on the wisdom of HOP ON POP (or the Spanish version “HOP ON POPI)
90 godzthor1 // Mar 31, 2008 at 2:13 pm
I can’t wait to hear April’s recount of sitting in Yankee Stadium for hours waiting for the rain to stop.
“Hey, John…Surprise!”
GO DODGER BLUE!!!
91 daveleb55 // Mar 31, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Marc,
Gas prices getting you down?
There’s yer problem, to0 fricking many cars!
You bought an SUV when gas was TWO dollars a gallon, now it’s THREE and it’s too expensive? WTF???
92 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 31, 2008 at 2:56 pm
@ eBayEnigma
NICE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBGblSmeC-k
93 JohnnyBoy // Mar 31, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Stretch, i have Dylan (or an excellent facsimile) singing “Sam I Am”
I think I got it from some WFMU link, I’ll send it to April in case sh’d like to post it
94 brucham // Mar 31, 2008 at 5:16 pm
You guys are great……I always look forward to your chats.
April, I love your observations of the crazy “newscasters”
we have on TV here in LA. Especially those wierd and crazy ones on channel 7. HD makes them even more frightening.
Dallas Raines always looks like he has been pulled out of the local bar to go on air. Ric Romero is really angry he is doing consumer reports and then there is there the healthmatters reporter …Dennis I dare….who I wouldn’t trust to feed my cat.
95 Brandex // Mar 31, 2008 at 5:28 pm
That’s a good South Park episode, pal Jacky.
Ehh, KFC sucks now. Southern grandmas make the best fried chicken (I’m lucky to have one) but Popeyes is a lot better than KFC. I also doubt KFC will surpass El Pollo Loco in the grilled chicken department.
I’m also unable to use text message abbreviations, April. I’ve always tried to avoid the anal-retentive English teacher stereotype, but I just can’t stand shortening everything for a text message. My brother won’t even answer his phone anymore because he’s so addicted to text messages, so it can be pretty annoying.
Are Mini Coopers gay? My father, my grandfather and I really love cute little cars like that.
April, I’m glad that you’re doing nice things for yourself. I used to do the same thing, spending money on other people because I thought they wouldn’t be my friends unless I did so. Were you also the kid who thought that she could fix her fucked up family by being as good as possible? That doesn’t work at all, of course. Yeah, you pretty much have to accept whatever good you can find if you have a dysfunctional family. Otherwise, you will drive yourself mad obsessing over what could have been.
96 JohnnyBoy // Mar 31, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Anyone who objects to abbreviations should hail a taximeter cabriolet and get out of town !
Just kidding, I don’t like them either
97 JohnnyBoy // Mar 31, 2008 at 5:53 pm
I drive a Yaris so I have no problem with any perceived shortcomings as it were
98 eBayEnigma // Mar 31, 2008 at 6:20 pm
Thanks Speedy, for posting that link! Boy, did that bring back memories! =)
99 inerror // Mar 31, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Watch. The next podcast will post when the 100th comment is posted.
100 pal Jacky // Mar 31, 2008 at 7:22 pm
brandix, perhaps you just come from a long line of closet cases. It happens look at Natasia and Joley richirdson. Do any of your forefathers wear underpants? but as a strict logician, it doesn’t really go that way. ‘A’ implies ‘B’ doesn’t mean ‘B’ implies ‘A’. They could go commando and not be gay. John Trovolta does it all the time and so does Johnny knoxville.
101 pal Jacky // Mar 31, 2008 at 7:25 pm
of course the one we are leaving out is ‘romper room’ but after all those indictments during the ’70’s it is probably for the best. “Are you a dontbee-do you want a doobee’ 98% of junkies polled agree-pot was a gateway drug for them.
102 Auntie Vera Charles // Mar 31, 2008 at 8:21 pm
100th
103 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 31, 2008 at 8:21 pm
NUMBER ONE HUNDRED.
BITCH.
104 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 31, 2008 at 8:22 pm
wtf hax
105 inerror // Mar 31, 2008 at 8:24 pm
-*I coulda’ swore.
106 inerror // Mar 31, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Worked last time.
107 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 31, 2008 at 8:27 pm
Damn you, Vera. DAMN YOOOUUU. Damn you and your 1337 h4xx0r 3k1llz.
But I shall have my revenge. Oh yes, you can bet your rhinestone-studded codpiece on that.
108 Brandex // Mar 31, 2008 at 8:55 pm
Hehe, I’m not a closet case. I’m very open about my lesbianism. I guess that means I should drive a Subaru, but I drive a truck, so that’s dykey enough
109 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 31, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Speaking of THOSE EVIL, EVIL GAYS, there’s something I would like some input on. Hur hur, i sed input.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra_fAYl4Th4
Michael Moore and a pack of homos ride through the Bible Belt in a pink Winnebago. Epic win, or miserable fail? I would like a gai perspective on this.
Thankyoo
110 Brandex // Mar 31, 2008 at 9:27 pm
That’s a good video. There were a ton of closet cases in the fundamentalist churches I belonged to as a kid. It was kind of sad because most of them ended up alone because they couldn’t act on their desires.
111 inerror // Mar 31, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Didn’t you always know it was true…Jim Kirk and Spock:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=60a_1203931849
112 gary // Mar 31, 2008 at 10:49 pm
Texting is just so fucking retarded. Pick up the fucking phone and we can finish this conversation in 30 seconds !
A couple of buddies of mine have taken to this shit and it’s driving me fucking crazy.
I had it out with one of them over this shit and won the day.
I totally pwn3d him!!111!!11!!111!1one11111!!!
113 Andre // Mar 31, 2008 at 10:57 pm
tee why! ell oh ell! are oh tee eff ell emm ay oh! bee are bee!
DOUBLE-YOU TEE EFF!?
By the way, where the hell does Mr. K live if he’s thirty miles from a Zankou Chicken (stores in West LA, Van Nuys, Glendale, Pasadena and Anaheim)?
114 Andre // Mar 31, 2008 at 11:00 pm
P.S. I drive a Chevy Astro van.
That’s pretty damn butch…right?
115 Speedy Cerviche // Mar 31, 2008 at 11:10 pm
idk my bff Jill?
116 paper-hat // Apr 1, 2008 at 1:02 am
April has gone missing.. five days and the only clue left behind was a scratched up software box with wet medicine bottle cotton balls inside it… wild rumors are that she was last seen with a Gautama lookalike while running out of a esoteric china town supermarket…
the entire Voice acting industry has gone Wild!!!…
others claim Podzac side effects for the mystery.
117 JohnnyBoy // Apr 1, 2008 at 6:54 am
Are there any vaginal-sounding cars?
118 John Foley // Apr 1, 2008 at 7:11 am
IT WASN’T RAINING! Not that this stopped those bastards from canceling the game or anything.
Fuckers.
119 JohnnyBoy // Apr 1, 2008 at 7:40 am
Other than the Toyota Chacha, obviously
120 JohnnyBoy // Apr 1, 2008 at 7:47 am
APRIL ! Just so you know, I got a delivery notification failure twice when I tried to email you.
121 gary // Apr 1, 2008 at 8:55 am
Gawd , I hope the Sawx take a huge dump this year?
I’m so tired of Sawx Nation.
122 clevelandphil // Apr 1, 2008 at 10:01 am
I love Shirley Phelps Roper. She was always enjoyable when she was on Mark’s show. She’s not in the video though, darn it.
123 inerror // Apr 1, 2008 at 10:22 am
They you’re going to love this:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=52f_1173577553
124 inerror // Apr 1, 2008 at 10:38 am
The KABC bottom of barrel in my opinion was Carol Platt Liebau http://www.carolliebau.com/top/top_r2_c5.jpg. Smug. Self-assured she had the direct line to all that was correct and divine. It always made my skin crawl when I heard her in discussions with Mister K. She was part of the fascist cabal that infected KABC and finally metathesized into the inexhaustible of venomous puss they are today. Haven’t listened to KABC in about . . . whenever Mister K left. . . I always thought Volvo and Taurus sounded female anatomical related for some reason.
125 inerror // Apr 1, 2008 at 10:39 am
http://www.carolliebau.com/top/top_r2_c5.jpg
126 inerror // Apr 1, 2008 at 10:40 am
Just goes to show this bitch is always having her period.
127 JohnnyBoy // Apr 1, 2008 at 10:43 am
Volvo ! That’s it ! Couldn’t think of it !
128 pal Jacky // Apr 1, 2008 at 1:23 pm
my favorite is amanda beirce(sp?) who played Marcy on ‘married…with children’. She came out as lesbian long before ellen. But she admitted in real life she drove a truck. Okay, makes sense. But A DODGE truck. that’s as funny as Peg Bundy for years being accused of killing her husband, then Katey segal’s next series her TV husband dies on the set.
129 pal Jacky // Apr 1, 2008 at 1:32 pm
okay, so the 100th post thing didn’t work. I think April might just be tired of the feeble attempts at toilet humor that seem to have been running rampant on this site lately.
130 inerror // Apr 1, 2008 at 1:36 pm
OK. I’ll stop. And I hope Winchell and Germain just found something more profitable to do. They are missed.
Support “Borderline Personality Awareness Month”
131 JohnnyBoy // Apr 1, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Plus which, her e-mail doesn’t work
or she blocked me
or whatever
132 Speedy Cerviche // Apr 1, 2008 at 2:11 pm
I guess I was wrong about Macs. I just read this guy’s blog about the MacBook Air, and I’ll be damned if he didn’t convince me. He knows his stuff. He’s pretty funny, too:
http://tinyurl.com/3cuaj8
I’ve seen the error of my ways, and I’m getting an Air on my next payday.
Also: the internet is serious business. Nevar forget.
133 pal Jacky // Apr 1, 2008 at 5:19 pm
april just want to fuck justin long the cool mac guy(as opposed to the dweeby PC guy). Well she will have to play sloppy seconds to both drew barrymore and victor salva. kudos to anyone who gets the salva reference without googe-ling.
134 JohnnyBoy // Apr 1, 2008 at 5:29 pm
nope, no kudos for me….i’ll take some pathos though
135 pal Jacky // Apr 1, 2008 at 8:31 pm
I didn’t mean to see any part of ‘jeepers creepers’. I switched to ’sci-fi’ bad horror movie with the ‘mac’guy and I watched part , lo and behold it was ‘jeepers creepers’ . when the director is a member of the dga and the jessica law list, I change channels. I can’t even watch woody allen films, anymore. actually that happened somewhere around ‘a midsummer night’s sex comedy’.
136 unfallable // Apr 1, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Cobalt blue swirling pixels envelope Winamp
Like bubba plumber rising to his knee to click the still lethargic mouse
As it gazed at the L-C-D . . . or was it L-S-D
Frolicking, tottering, anticipating Winch-ell
Play MediaPlayer, play
How fragile the dream melted Daliesque - Germain to what issue the bits flowed into the ocean of silica-sand profanity
No more the pod
Lost hope extinguishes the mediaplayer
Left for dead on the misinformation highway
Any salvation cast afar
Beyond PC - even might Mac
Cast so far even heroic Data Rescue measures fail
Lay down mighty iPod - sensible Sansa - majestic Zen - heroic Archos
Beyoond iRiver - walk-man - walk and Zune you arrive, arrive, arrive….
Not
137 Glo // Apr 1, 2008 at 9:12 pm
April,
The podcast was just swell.
Glo
138 bnaivar // Apr 2, 2008 at 3:47 am
Yeah, but now that the swelling has gone down, we’d like another one.
139 pal Jacky // Apr 2, 2008 at 11:18 am
harold greene and anne martin have been axed. I just have been able to leave the house again after recovering from the cancelling of star jones and now this. Hopefully, ann martin will join KTLA crakerjack news dept. The 9:00am hour is now a ‘view’ wannabee having only the women involved. I guess even their management got sick of looking at the dough boy sam reubin and the weather idiot marc christie, However, these are really dumb women. Ann could start ‘likkering herself up the moment she rolls out of bed and still be running on brains, and she isn’t all that bright to begin with.
140 JohnnyBoy // Apr 2, 2008 at 11:23 am
One Hundred Thirty Seventh !
141 Stretch // Apr 2, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Is that Auntie Vera that I heard on a local “BMW 3 series ” radio spot I heard yesterday?!!!
142 Duns // Apr 2, 2008 at 2:45 pm
It is neat when the music comes on over John’s suprise!
143 eBayEnigma // Apr 3, 2008 at 8:06 am
Wow, it’s been 7 whole days since the last podcast. I’m getting worried about April and Mr. K…hope they’re OK.
144 JohnnyBoy // Apr 3, 2008 at 9:18 am
something’s not right
145 Spaizgirl // Apr 3, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Please …We need a new one!!! Please don’t make us read more corny comments. If I read one more geek-infested post about data recovery, I am going to become Certifiable!!!!!!!!! I don’t care if it’s 2 empty cans and a string! I don’t care if it 8 track! We just need more podcasts!
146 gary // Apr 3, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Ooh, an 8-track pod cast would be cool.
147 Speedy Cerviche // Apr 3, 2008 at 3:26 pm
April has abandoned us. This blog is now about giving out music.
In anticipation of Wapaneaster (only 7 more days to go, guys!), I present to you an excellent Japanese Trance/Hardcore album: Enigmatic by Lia. Link: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=8FY35PW0
In case you have never used Megaupload, It goes like this:
1. Type the captcha letters
2. Click the button
3. Wait for the timer to count down
4. ???
5. PROFIT
All albums are in RAR archive format. Open with WinRAR, 7-Zip, ZipGenius, etc.
If you’re into this type of music, enjoy.
PS: I listen to this album when I go to sleep, as the heavy 4/4 beat of most club music puts me right out. Must be a womb thing.
148 Speedy Cerviche // Apr 3, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Also, if you want any other music, request it. I can get you just about anything. Love ya~
149 Speedy Cerviche // Apr 3, 2008 at 4:01 pm
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=7IPZQTBR
This is The Odd Couple by Gnarls Barkley. The second collaboration between Dirty South Hip-Hop vocalist Cee-Lo Green and Internet-famous mash-up artist DJ Danger Mouse, this disc is a, as the kids say, fresh, mix of Hip-Hop, Old-School R&B, and Gospel. Holy shit, that’s a lot of commas.
In case you live under a rock, here’s a sample of their sound: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7Y-T__h4Oc
Enjoy~
150 JohnnyBoy // Apr 3, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Sounds like an Underpants Gnome scheme to me
151 Speedy Cerviche // Apr 3, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Hay JohnnyBoy. Want music?
152 pal Jacky // Apr 3, 2008 at 5:58 pm
didn’t april say in one of her pod casts that she was going on vacationfor a week? maybe not. Speaking of ’south park’, last night they came to the same conclusion as i did. During the writer’s strike I mentioned here and other places that ‘reality’ TV would hit new lows and it was only a matter of time before ‘anal rape of the network stars’ would be a top rated show. Well last night on ’south park’ they came to a like conclusion on a satire of the writer’s strike instead of reality shows they did a hit You tube video entitled ‘what what in my butt’. This featured Butters dancing around inciting people to buttfuck him.
153 JohnnyBoy // Apr 3, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Yes Speedy,thanks, yes I do, but I couldn’t say exactly what !
154 JohnnyBoy // Apr 3, 2008 at 6:24 pm
check chat, send me an email…thanks
155 Speedy Cerviche // Apr 3, 2008 at 6:29 pm
@JohnnyBoy
Okay. I also posted a link to some more music, right after my original post. However it says that it’s “awaiting moderation”. I might repost if April doesn’t hurry up and tell her software that I’m not a spammer…
@ pal Jacky:
Remember when South Park was noted for its originality?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU
156 JohnnyBoy // Apr 3, 2008 at 7:22 pm
anyone else here can also feel free to send me an email, I’ll send back songs and stuff
157 Andre // Apr 3, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Apparently none of you actually listens to the podcasts. April mentioned she and John were going to New York and then Boston. They were going to opening day at Yankee Stadium, which would have been last Monday.
Now everyone just chill.
158 JohnnyBoy // Apr 3, 2008 at 7:31 pm
I’m as cold as a Breen winter
159 Speedy Cerviche // Apr 3, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Ah, the Breen. Greatest Trek species. Do not argue.
Also…
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=KV2T29PX
The Forbidden Zone soundtrack. A Great, bizarre soundtrack for a great, bizarre movie. Danny Elfman is the composer and performer, with Susan Tyrrell, Hervé Villechaize, and The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo backing him up.
Centerpiece of the album is “Squeezit the Moocher”, which features Mr. Elfman portraying Satan and channeling Cab Calloway at the same time.
Also contains a version of Di Yiddishe Charleston sung by Richard Elfman. Too short, but a nice twist on an older-than-dirt ditty. Enjoy~
160 gary // Apr 3, 2008 at 10:34 pm
Andre,
Hey, how’s it goin?
Remember the part where Marc said he was sick?
Yeah. Me too.
I’ve been feeling kinda shitty lately as well.
You?
161 JohnnyBoy // Apr 4, 2008 at 4:10 am
Thanks Speedy, I have Squeezit the Moocher, I knew who did it but had no clue where it was from !
162 Speedy Cerviche // Apr 4, 2008 at 1:21 pm
JohnnyBoy, if you like that, I would recommend watching the movie. It’s very strange, and some people seem to absolutely loathe it, but… I think its worth a watch, if only for Danny’s Satan scene. Also, the “Pico and Sepulveda” scene is awesome. Hi-de-hi-de-hi-de-ho =)
In addition, it seems that my other music comment will never be review by April, so… I shall repost for great justice.
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=7IPZQTBR
The Odd Couple by Gnarls Barkley.
Second collaboration between Dirty South Hip-Hop vocalist Cee-Lo Green and Internet-famous mash-up artist DJ Danger Mouse. Fresh mix of Hip-Hop, Old-School R&B and Gospel. Excellent disc, highly recommended. The last three songs are inspired.
A sample of their style: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7Y-T__h4Oc
Oh, snap. A Zelig homage and a Dennis Hopper appearance. Love that video.
163 Speedy Cerviche // Apr 4, 2008 at 1:23 pm
MODERAAAAAAAAATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!
164 pal Jacky // Apr 4, 2008 at 4:49 pm
hey andre, I beat you on that vacation news by five posts. don’t worry, I listen to the podcasts and then choose not to comment on them. It just my way of a virtual raspberry in the smugness of some people. If you don’t like what is being posted, post something better.
165 pal Jacky // Apr 4, 2008 at 4:58 pm
I love ‘the forbidden zone’. My favorite is the Joe Spinell doing a ripoff of the bruce dern death scene from ‘marnie’. I saw the ‘kipper kids’ live once. They were fat ,wore nothing but jockstraps and spead peanut butter on themselves. It was about the time ‘forbidden zone’ was made. They were the pair in jock straps. In real life, one later married bette midler!!!
166 JohnnyBoy // Apr 4, 2008 at 5:04 pm
people will do that, yes
167 eBayEnigma // Apr 6, 2008 at 8:38 pm
I listened to the podcast but I forgot. =( It seems as my brain ages, it doesn’t hold on to information like it used to. Aging isn’t for sissies!
168 Eddie_Haskell // Apr 17, 2008 at 12:19 am
Wow, April and Marc really need good gigs.
Maybe they can do a reality show to debunk self-help programs like The Secret and Tony Robbins. They could rent the same studio apt in Venice where Tony washed dishes in the bathtub. April could wash and Marc could dry… while visualizing and feeling with DEEP emotion their ideal day. . .
Then, when it really