As if reality television wasn’t already making you vomit:
LOS ANGELES, April 29, 2008 G4 is taking competitive eating competitions to the next level with a new series that combines speed-eating and intense physical challenges.
In each episode, five brave contestants attempt to consume the largest quantity of food in a short amount of time and are then immediately subjected to a series of challenges designed to make them “hurl”. The one to hold his or her food down the longest walks away with a cash prize, the Iron Stomach Award, and more importantly, serious bragging rights. The half-hour series, “Hurl!” premieres summer 2008 on G4.
The competition is made up of multiple stages, beginning with an intense eating contest. Contestants are challenged to consume a massive portion of some popular All-American favorite, as quickly as they can, with items ranging from chicken pot pies to New England chowder, fish sticks, hot dogs, blueberry pie, and more. Those who devour the largest quantity and keep everything down move on to the second stage where they must face nausea-inducing physical challenges, from carnival rides to belly flops off a high dive, to mechanical bull-riding.
The few remaining who have held on to their stomachs are forced back to the food table, where they must gorge an additional serving of a surprising new menu item. In a comedic and gag-inspiring display, the remaining few desperately try to prevent themselves from throwing up.
Viewers will laugh and cringe their way through the half-hour show as they witness the contestants who can no longer avoid the inevitable queasiness and the often messy celebrations of the new champions.
“G4’s mission is to be a multi-media destination that’s ‘relevant’ and ‘authentic’ to the interests of today’s young male demo,” said Neal Tiles, president, G4. “‘Hurl’ is really an idea that is inspired by the world of viral video which has proven to be massively popular with young guys today.”
Other Reality Shows in development inspired by the world of viral video:
- The Search for America’s Next Top Girl Who Shits in a Cup and Then Another Girl Eats It
- Celebrity Rick Rolling
- Who Wants To Be a Morbidly Obese Teenager With Hot Pockets Under His Breasts
- Korean Baby, You’ve Got Talent
- Keeping Up With the Exploding Whales
- Step it Up and Do the Thriller Dance with Filipino Prison Inmates
- So You Think You Can Tase Me, Bro
78 responses so far ↓
1 Gina // Apr 30, 2008 at 11:32 pm
I can’t wait until Celebrity Hurl!
2 coasterboy // May 1, 2008 at 12:44 am
“How not to divorce a millionaire Broadway Producer”
3 coasterboy // May 1, 2008 at 12:46 am
I’m thinkin that “Vista” is the new “New Coke”.
4 pal Jacky // May 1, 2008 at 2:12 am
If there was an doomsday like clock ticking down the time until anal rape becomes brilliant programming. this would be the third time since christmas that a minute would have to be taken off. I’m telling you NBC will start with ‘anal rape of the network stars’, fox will copy with “celebrity sodomy’ and CBS with ‘big brother 22-rectal rage where contestants get kicked off if they get anally violated by another contestant(women with strap ons of course’) You know I’m right and I’m looking forward to Thursday’s installment of ‘i bet you will’ where they show the actual barf of contestents and wonder why ’spike’ hasn’t started to brooadcast in HD.
5 bnaivar // May 1, 2008 at 5:36 am
“How to buy a Nobel Peace Prize”
6 bnaivar // May 1, 2008 at 5:36 am
No, wait, that one’s real.
7 chrisbcritter // May 1, 2008 at 6:07 am
You’re right about the Filipino prison inmates show – a friend of mine who works in TV production was trying to put just such a show together; thankfully the shelf life of these videos (and the attention span of their viewers) is usually too short to let it happen…
8 Doug // May 1, 2008 at 7:33 am
“How to buy a Prize Piece of Nobel”
I predict the anus will demand top dollar.
9 ListenerJustin // May 1, 2008 at 9:31 am
Kinda sounds like the network brains ran out of ideas for shows long ago, and have fallen back on that old creative staple: The Inquisition. I see next season’s top-rated gameshow involving contestants chugging water, and then being punched repeatedly in the groin until the commercial break for cash, prizes, and medical expenses. Hosted by Gordon Ramsay, of course.
10 inerror // May 1, 2008 at 10:35 am
G4 is the monster that ate TechTV and then barfed out Leo Laport and his band of merry techsters who went on to start their own video and audio podcasts network in San Francisco at Revision3.
They have some fantastic tech learning resources as well as some fine entertainment video. There’s something for just about everybody there. And of course Leo Laport was immediately snapped up by KFI as “The Tech Guy” replacing the almost tech guy Jeff Levy. Leo is now the podfather, cranking out something like 10 podcasts a week and assisting countless others in starting up their own.
11 Duns // May 1, 2008 at 10:37 am
Pure evil!
12 JohnnyBoy // May 1, 2008 at 11:00 am
Are You Smarter than Smegma ?
13 Stretch // May 1, 2008 at 11:06 am
“Who wants to be a Prostitute/Call Girl?”
“$2000 for a Bl*w Job – Is that your FINAL ANSWER?”
{cue intense music – and lights}
14 JohnnyBoy // May 1, 2008 at 11:28 am
There should be an All-Vomit Network, with shows like The Beverly Hurlbillies, The Pukes of Hazzard, and The Spew
15 JohnnyBoy // May 1, 2008 at 11:30 am
and the clown in the picture, his name is ?
Upchuckles !
16 OLDFART // May 1, 2008 at 11:36 am
I am just saying that a really messed up computer can limit someone to two or three post a day. By the way, I qualify for all of those new shows. Big paydays coming my way!!
17 JohnnyBoy // May 1, 2008 at 11:46 am
An All-Fart channel would also be good, popular shows include Gasword, and Blame The Dog
18 clevelandphil // May 1, 2008 at 11:55 am
Throwing Up Daisies
19 Stretch // May 1, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Don’t Forget the Gag reflex
20 JohnnyBoy // May 1, 2008 at 12:26 pm
God of Porcelain, pray for us
21 Stretch // May 1, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Has anyone heard about this new cookbook called
FINGER FOODS FOR BULIMICS
22 Glo // May 1, 2008 at 2:36 pm
This show will be marvelous counter programming to the non-stop CNN coverage of the worldwide food riots that are soon to come.
23 JohnnyBoy // May 1, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Perhaps they’ll have contestants that will emulate the Momma Bird –
regurgitate directly in the starving persons mouth
24 JohnnyBoy // May 1, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Here’s a site what tells you where to find a toilet:
http://www.mizpee.com/mizpeeweb/welcome.do
25 Yoeman // May 1, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Idiocracy – We’re dangerously close to being there.
If you haven’t seen it, watch it.
26 thefifthbeatle // May 1, 2008 at 6:37 pm
Speaking of things that make people vomit, April, I thought that you might find this offer from Wing’s website very INTERESTING:
http://www.wingtunes.com/specialoffer.html
27 pal Jacky // May 1, 2008 at 8:07 pm
“..we return to anal rape of the network stars ’scrubs’ vs. ‘gray’s anatomy’. Here is a replay of sarah chalke on Katherin Heigl ‘you suck doing comedy bitch..i was roseanne’s daughter..i should have been the star of ‘knocked up’… film not underwear commercials”’.
john c. mcgintly has been using zack braff as bait and has McCreamyed both McSteamy and Mcdreamy. I think everyone has wanted to see braff bungholed for a very long time.
28 pal Jacky // May 1, 2008 at 8:09 pm
after re-reading the last post..perhaps the server has just developed at tad of decency.
29 Speedy Cerviche // May 1, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Yoeman, it says on your chart that you’re fucked up. Uh, you talk like a fag and your shit’s all retarded.
30 eBayEnigma // May 1, 2008 at 9:05 pm
I’d like to see a reality show called, “Inside a VietNamese Driving School.” We could see exactly what is taught.
Here’s some of the imaginary dialog I thought up:
“No, no…you drive car way too fast! You must go at least 15 mph UNDER the speed limit.”
“In America, we no look behind when backing up… we just put in reverse and step hard on the little rectangluar pedal on the right.”
31 Andre // May 1, 2008 at 10:27 pm
“Don’t Forget to Lip Sync the Lyrics with your Stupid Friend”?
“Beating Up Hobos with the Stars”?
“America’s Funniest Celebrity Scientologist Home Videos”?
“Are You Hotter Than a Fifth Grader?”
32 Andre // May 1, 2008 at 10:35 pm
“Hurl or No Hurl”?
33 JohnnyBoy // May 2, 2008 at 6:51 am
“And Moses Hoses climbed the holy mountain, and he beheld a wonder, a burning bush, and a voice which spake thusly saying “Yea, though I appear as the groin of Lohan, behold, that I am rated best god in my class by JD Power and associates”
And the people below, whose faith was shaken and stomach churned, cried “Aaron, you are skilled in the art of the fixture and the plumb, make for us a god of porcelain so we may cry Ralph unto it”
Spewteronomy 4:20
34 Spaizgirl // May 2, 2008 at 9:32 am
Congrats on working! I miss the podcasts, but will hear you on Phineas and Ferb in the meantime. What character are you voicing? My daughter is addicted to that show. We have like 20 of them tevo’d.
35 inerror // May 2, 2008 at 11:47 am
And then in the land of URL there came about a mighty bowl of gleaming white alabaster. And it’s name wasHurl. . And Hurl consumed all the vileness that issued from man. And man was pleased. And the god of URL was pleased.
But the evil one who dwelt at G4 was not pleased. Because he saw only waste. And where there is waste, there is opportunity to turn a profit. And so the evil one at G4 harnessed the profit potential of the vileness which issueth from man and shoved it back down the throats of the sons of men. And in the eyes of G4, this was good. And the god of G4 slept well at night.
36 inerror // May 2, 2008 at 11:51 am
Leave It Ick Us 6:2 mestomach
37 Yoeman // May 2, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Speedy Cerviche – Go ‘way, batin!
38 jim // May 2, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Even though this really sort of defies parody at this point, I can’t resist giving it a HURL:
- Drain That Cyst!
- Who Wants To Be In Rehab?
- Colostomies Of The Rich & Famous
(people who’ll watch anything + network producers with the souls of ferrets = perpetual goldmine!)
39 unfallable // May 3, 2008 at 12:42 am
Mister K “back by July.”
40 unfallable // May 3, 2008 at 12:43 am
http://www.ocregister.com/articles/escandon-station-ratings-2032181-www-day
41 JohnnyBoy // May 3, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Everything is back to norbal
42 pal Jacky // May 3, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Sadly, everything is back to norbal, Comedy central is doing promos for the new season of Carlos mencia. I can’t even watch the promos without getting sick to my stomach. Furthermore, they ran them through a george lopez special. George lopez punched mencia for stealing his act. Cosby would too if he hadn’t gone and got all preachy on everyone.
43 thefifthbeatle // May 3, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Thank GOD everything’s back to norbal or there would be panic in the streets.
IN THE STREETS I TELL YOU
JOHN 3:16
44 Speedy Cerviche // May 3, 2008 at 10:12 pm
This video made me giggle like a little girl. I have no idea why.
Perhaps my inner Nazi was stirred by the jackboot-esque clip-clop-clip-clop. Sieg heil, baby.
45 fox29 // May 3, 2008 at 10:38 pm
On Lifetime’s movie of the week. Sally Fields stars in “Not without my daughter you don’t”(based from a quote by April on “The April Winchell Show” on KFI 640)
46 Speedy Cerviche // May 3, 2008 at 11:10 pm
Oh, and speaking of hurl…
Anyone in the mood for some Hollywood regurgitron?
47 inerror // May 4, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Мои пакостные носки свистят с ароматностью туалета.
48 Speedy Cerviche // May 4, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Будьте осторожны, inerror. Большинство из гениев здесь не имеют своих языковых пакетов установлен.
49 socalfrank // May 4, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Speedy, I think you’re wrong. I have to agre with inerror
50 David Caruso // May 4, 2008 at 2:15 pm
socalfrank, you’re doing it wrong. Today’s Soviet Sunday, so we’re all supposed to…
*puts on sunglasses*
…Говорить на русском языке.
51 Roger Daltrey // May 4, 2008 at 2:15 pm
ЄЄЄЄЄЄЄЄЄЄЄЄЄЄААААААААААААААААААА!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
52 JohnnyBoy // May 4, 2008 at 2:43 pm
In Soviet Russia, contents of stomach vomit YOU !
53 pal Jacky // May 4, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Nein, nie gobbledygook languages.
you don’t want my to start misquoting brecht again do you?
“o show us the way to the next whisky bar..
o don’t ask why, o don’t ask why,
for we must find the next whisky bar
for if we don’t find the next whisky bar
I tell you, i tell you, i tell you we must die…”
Weirdest german song ever.
54 pal Jacky // May 4, 2008 at 2:58 pm
‘o moon von mahagonny we now must say goodbuy
we’ve lost our good old mama, and must have whisky oh you know why.”
55 inerror // May 4, 2008 at 4:44 pm
For a fun evening, take the kids to Gunther Von Hagens’ Body Works now at the California Science Center . Afterwards, take them to Black Angus and order up roast beef all around – rare and still hemorrhaging. Then get out the video camera.
56 pal Jacky // May 4, 2008 at 7:26 pm
which brings us to celebrity taxidermy. New this week, Charlton heston. Watch rosie o’donell pull a gun out of his hands. Next week rosie o’donell with a big apple for her mouth and a pineapple ring moo-moo.
57 inerror // May 4, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Скоростное Cerviche:
языковые пакеты ?
58 Speedy Cerviche // May 5, 2008 at 12:42 am
Language packs.
Those magical little bits of software that allow one’s comp to display foreign characters. Many OS’s are not pre-installed with these, so many people (including several on this site) only see tiny black boxes instead of these characters.
During my attempts at shift-JIS art in the chatroom, I was informed by several users of this site that all they could see were the aforementioned black boxes. If they can’t see Japanese syllabary, they probably can’t see Cyrillic either. Therefore, all of our Russkie jibba jabba would not be dissimilar to tossing a Mikimoto in a hog pen.
Wait wut
59 pal Jacky // May 5, 2008 at 2:15 am
you asked for it
‘Desecretion with the stars’ This week Jennifer Love hewitt, dressed as Joan of Ark, digs up clark gable’s casket and shits in it. Then the infant of prague, verne’minime’ troyer, skullfucks Jayne mansfield’s head.
60 eBayEnigma // May 5, 2008 at 8:36 am
A bit of Hollywood Trivia:
Jayne Mansfield is/was Mariska Hargitay’s mother.
61 inerror // May 5, 2008 at 9:38 am
Speedy (Скоростное):
The problem you describe are common on the Mac computer. Those experiencing these symptoms need to get with it and get a Windows PC. They can still keep their Mac for shifty silliness. But in order to communicate with the world, you need to get with the program.
62 pal Jacky // May 5, 2008 at 10:28 am
i was saving marisky for episode 2. Where dressed as the virgin mary she menstraits all over sharon tate’s grave.
63 JohnnyBoy // May 5, 2008 at 10:41 am
Kotex Watson !
64 Bitsey // May 5, 2008 at 11:10 am
I vote for Andre’s “Are You Hotter Than a Fifth Grader.” It just fits with the times. The contestants can all be elementary school teachers competing for the hot bods of 11-year-olds.
65 darkkommissar // May 5, 2008 at 11:44 am
hahahaha. I may watch this when I want to wallow in the depravity of society. And cry and wail at the destruction of what used to be a nice place to live…
66 Andre // May 5, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Thank you, Bitsey dear! Lovely to hear from you.
Did you folks know that Mariska H. was in the back seat when the top of Jayne’s head went missing. Thankfully, she was too young to remember anything.
67 pal Jacky // May 5, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Some frat boy was killed by a local at my alma mahler berkeley over the weekend. All this simpering people weeping. My god, what I would have given to see one of those dreadful fratboys die in my day. We did have the unabomber bombing. But those jsut seemed random at the time.
Don’t forget Jayne mansfield’s doggie. David cronenberg didn’t in ‘crash’. Personally, If I were to re-enact a celeb car crash. It would be Nathanel West and his bride or Bing crosby wiping out an entire family. Of course, that was in the day you could pay off the relatives to shut up.
68 Infinite monkey // May 5, 2008 at 5:55 pm
That blinking BULL SHIT alert will not stop. I would like to see more of them in your marvelous so I’m all’s.
Yours, Infinite
69 unfallable // May 5, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Bull-SHIT Alert – Really!
That plumber commercial where the guy talks about bullshit getting wet on Civil War era ships causing methane gas, resulting in an explosion is not where the word “shit” comes from. At leas not according to HTML Tags Live Examples Title Page., which traces the origin to Old Norse (skīta), preliterate Germanic tribes at the time of the Roman Empire, the Old English (scitte), then Middle English (schītte).
Other roots may be Proto-Germanic (skit-), Proto-Indo-European (skheid-), Ancient Greek (skor) – (root ’skat-’ from which modern Greek ’skatá’). Also’skítur’ (noun) and ’skíta’ (verb), still exist in the Icelandic.
And so you see, shit is much more than cow paddies Shipped High In Transit. I hope this settles the issue.
70 unfallable // May 5, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Dammit! Spostabe “Wikipedia”
71 pal Jacky // May 5, 2008 at 9:17 pm
I get asked a lot about ‘queer baiting’. Where you get the youngest best looking guy in the group to act like a male prostitute and then roll any ‘johns’ he picks up. This is a hate crime so I don’t recommend it. Instead, have your bait only pick up married men. There are lots of them on santa monica Blvd looking for company from young guys. If your bait turns and decides to become a huslter for real, you best cut him off with this piece of advice ‘it is not entrapment, if the cop comes in your mouth.’
72 pronounce the j like a y // May 6, 2008 at 2:59 am
We don´t have any Whisky Bars – sad, really sad, but I´ve got the Grimm.
73 pal Jacky // May 6, 2008 at 4:05 pm
in the version from ‘mann ist mann’ it is spelled ‘whysky’. I think that is brecht’s oldest version.
74 Brandex // May 6, 2008 at 5:45 pm
I love you people. Why can’t I be surrounded by funny people like most of you? I’d always be happy. Yes, I’m serious.
Anyway, G4 blows goats. I’m a supernerd (I LARPd, played D&D, owned Warhammer miniatures, played WoW, etc.) but I hate this station. It’s just nonstop reruns of Cheaters and C.O.P.S., and the few tech shows they have contain only obvious information that you could easily find on gamefaqs.com. Also, the “hot chick” on that Attack of the Show looks like a zombie because her eyes are so dead.
All the crappy cable stations are trying to cash in on “reality” tv. For instance, I love Animal Planet but now they have a stupid grooming show that had Donnie Bonadouchebag guest star one episode just for ratings. I used to love the voyeuristic aspect of “reality” tv in the olden days but now it’s so scripted that all of it is badly-acted bullshit
75 JohnnyBoy // May 6, 2008 at 6:03 pm
The History Channel used to be reliable, even though I was convinced that FDR was still President.
However, for some unexplained reason, they have a show on constantly called AxMen, sorta like Orange County Choppers except with lumberjacks….and even though the song says otherwise, believe me, it’s NOT OK !
76 Stretch65 // May 8, 2008 at 11:21 am
Take it from me
Lumber Jacks are OK and they are they know how to handle WOOD!!
77 pal Jacky // May 8, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Yeah but lumber jacks like to put on women’s clothing and hang around in bars. Something the history channel seems to neglect week after week. Also german vulgar slang ’scheissen’ is ‘to shit’ and ’scheisse’ is ’shit has been that way a long time. Google ’scheisse’ for lots of porn gone wrong.
78 JohnnyBoy // May 8, 2008 at 7:33 pm
But seriously, what’s HISTORY about it? It could be on Discovery or Geographic or TLC or whatever, and fine by me
But History? nononono
I once worked with two guys, one was named groskopf though his head wasn’t that big, but he was prematurely gray,and the other was sorta dopey
so I called them Weiskopf and Scheiskopf
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