Wow!
It’s been ages since I posted one of these. In fact, I can’t even remember the last time you sniffed my sack!
And yet, here we are, looking down the barrel of a big bag of shit with your name on it.
Doesn’t that feel great? To know I’m thinking of you? To know I’m trying to pass off of bunch of garbage as content? To know that I’m leaving town tomorrow and just throwing up whatever horse shit I can to keep you occupied until Monday?
Yer darn tootin’, it feels good. It feels real good. Aw yeah. Just like that. Back that ass up.
All right, now I’m just free associating, and frankly, I don’t have that kind of time. I have to leave at 6:00 to go do my scene with Gary Busey, and I can only snort so much coke in two hours.
So here we go.
HAVE A NICE TRIP
A staggering anti-drug anthem by Merv Griffin
So you’re lighting up for the first time.
You think it’s cool, it’s hip
You want to escape this world
Well, have a nice trip.
Have you ever watched a sunset
As it fades beyond the trees?
Have you listened to the west wind
Blowing in across the seas?
Have you tried the smell of a summer rain
When a storm comes to an end?
Well you can’t get very much higher than that,
My friend.
Having a billion dollars and getting chorus boys to blow you probably comes close.
THE TWO MOST REGRETTABLE TATTOOS EVER
NOT A PHOTOSHOP
As much as I would like it to be.
LINK COUNTDOWN
25 Houses with Lawns on the Roof
8 responses so far ↓
1 Dylan // May 29, 2008 at 11:33 pm
Okay, first of all, the other chick in 2 girls 1 cup isn’t even blond.
I don’t think.
2 Infinite monkey // May 30, 2008 at 12:11 am
Full Afterburner Baby!!!!!!!
3 Scott // May 30, 2008 at 1:09 am
Holy crap! I didn’t know Clay Aiken even had a dick. Way to go, lad. MILF goodness.
4 pronounce the j like a y // May 30, 2008 at 2:06 am
April,
green is your color. You look like 23.
Maybe 21 in a better light-setting.
Lovely!
5 DavidinBerkeley // May 30, 2008 at 12:45 pm
I wanna see clasped hands on everyone who cares about such things, in prayer for the baby being carried to term by a 50-year-old woman.
Then in prayer for the child who has to grow up with a mom with the questionable judgement who tries to carry a baby to term in a 50-year-old body.
6 aristan // May 30, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Nice. Clay Aiken finally does the Claymates proud and gets someone pregnant and their name is Jaymes…. a gay spelling of James.
I’m just saying.
7 eBayEnigma // May 30, 2008 at 8:14 pm
This story is so bizarre that it has to be true. You can’t make this stuff up!
8 JohnnyBoy // May 30, 2008 at 8:41 pm
yeah it’s real:
http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=316501>1=7702&silentchk=1&
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