April Winchell

54 responses so far ↓

• 1 Scott // Jun 30, 2008 at 9:07 am

  Combine that with Japanese octopus porn and you’ve got a good meal.

• 2 JohnnyBoy // Jun 30, 2008 at 9:19 am

  I Can’t Believe It’s Not Chacha

• 3 bnaivar // Jun 30, 2008 at 9:52 am

  I wonder if it spreads easy?

• 4 JohnnyBoy // Jun 30, 2008 at 9:55 am

  According to the website, it is a “premium spread” and it “spreads easily…even when cold”

• 5 JohnnyBoy // Jun 30, 2008 at 10:08 am

  Here, mix these in……Yummynums !

  http://www.seriouseats.com/required_eating/2008/06/candy-design-gone-wrong.html?ref=se-bb4

• 6 DavidinBerkeley // Jun 30, 2008 at 10:27 am

  In case anyone is interested, the answer is “turkey meat.”

• 7 DavidinBerkeley // Jun 30, 2008 at 10:30 am

  I’m considering converting all my old AW shows (2001-5, I think) from .wma to .mp3 using an audio program I have. This is so I can burn them and hear them on my portable (mp3) cd player.

  Is this worthwhile considering that I might only be getting medium-to-low-quality mp3 files as a result, albeit bigger and playable on my player?

  Anyone have an opinion?

• 8 Scott // Jun 30, 2008 at 10:34 am

  “I wonder if it spreads easy?”

  WINNER! I lol’d.

• 9 Speedy Cerviche // Jun 30, 2008 at 11:38 am

  David, buy yourself an mp3 player. That solves the whole CD burning/converting issue right there. May I gently persuade you to take a look at the Cowon iAudio D2? It’s the best PMP in the world. And it plays .wma files!

  But to directly answer your question: First off, wouldn’t an mp3 be smaller than a wma, not bigger? I mean, that’s what mp3s are famous for, right? Being really compressed?

  Second, to touch on the quality issue: Any good converting program will let you convert to mp3 at a sufficiently high bitrate so as to be lossless from the original file. Problem is, April’s archives are pretty shit quality for the most part. No big deal, it’s the quality of the content that’s important. But you ain’t gonna get crystal-clear hi-fi sound from a wma recorded off 0f someone’s tape deck back in 2002 (as many of April’s shows seem to be…). GIGO, baby.

  But yeah, those mp3s should have a sound quality equal to that of the source wma. They should be a smaller size, too. If not, you’re doing it wrong.

• 10 Speedy Cerviche // Jun 30, 2008 at 11:44 am

  Also, if you can find a better vagina made out of margarine, buy it.

• 11 JohnnyBoy // Jun 30, 2008 at 11:54 am

  Kudos Speedy on having the line I wish I’d written !

• 12 eBayEnigma // Jun 30, 2008 at 11:55 am

  With 12 years of working ob/gyn, I find it interesting that on the lid the serifs under the word “Olivio” look like internal female sex organs: two fallopian tubes, and the two “O’s” look like ovaries. That product is chock-full of sex symbolism. Amazing what you can get from a single tub of margarine with a former auto manufacturer CEO’s name on it.

• 13 joshpincusiscrying // Jun 30, 2008 at 1:13 pm

  How do you call up an industrial equipment company and explain that you need to order a butter tub-filling machine that will fill tubs with THIS design?

  “Y’know the tops of Hershey Kissses? Yeah, well like that, but inside out…..”

• 14 pal Jacky // Jun 30, 2008 at 1:40 pm

  I think it is kind of sexy

• 15 pal Jacky // Jun 30, 2008 at 2:13 pm

  i meant that in a ‘letters to penthouse’ sort of way.

• 16 JohnnyBoy // Jun 30, 2008 at 5:53 pm

  oleolingus

• 17 Prof. Oddfellow // Jun 30, 2008 at 6:00 pm

  I Can’t Believe It’s Not Bugger
  -or-
  Pussy Whipped

• 18 Infinite monkey // Jun 30, 2008 at 6:29 pm

  This is lifting food porn to new levels of excitement!

• 19 Speedy Cerviche // Jun 30, 2008 at 7:55 pm

  Prof. Oddfellow wins.

  Congratulations, Professor.

• 20 socalfrank // Jun 30, 2008 at 9:27 pm

  I’m about ready for another PodCast…

• 21 jim // Jul 1, 2008 at 1:34 am

  Just as good as those high-priced spreads!
  For me, this is a big step up from salmon hentai.
  In the not-flaming-batshit-insane department, I mean.

• 22 TalkinHorse // Jul 1, 2008 at 2:30 am

  About the WMA versus MP3 query: Plenty of mp3 players will play WMA files as well as MP3; the big holdout is Apple, presumably because it’s a Microsoft format and Apple doesn’t want to pay Microsoft. And the WMA files tend to be smaller; I think Microsoft claims you get the same audio quality for half the size. But in these days of ever-increasing ever-cheaper storage, file size isn’t a big deal. Are you using a player that doesn’t support WMA?

• 23 Speedy Cerviche // Jul 1, 2008 at 6:50 am

  The way I understand the question, he has a portable CD player that can read data discs with mp3s on them. I’ve seen those before. But yeah, he needs to get an mp3 player.

  And about Apple holding out on WMA… I’m pretty sure iPods can play WMA. Maybe the original firmware doesn’t support it, but when you get rid of that and install RockBox (as you should be doing anyway, seeing as how the stock iPod firmware is utter shit), they should play just fine.

• 24 JohnnyBoy // Jul 1, 2008 at 12:57 pm

  Mine seems to work just dandy-like

• 25 John Foley // Jul 1, 2008 at 1:45 pm

  This post is pure misogyny.

• 26 Gapingredgroovie // Jul 1, 2008 at 3:41 pm

  Ahh yes. I’ll have to add this to my two other favorite high-cholesterol treats; knicker bacon and quim nuts.

• 27 pal Jacky // Jul 1, 2008 at 4:00 pm

  speaking of that, I have seen the error of my ways and decided to devote my life to writing lesbian theater pieces. I’ve written 37 just today. It is really quite simple, just take a standard story and add some man stomping to it. My favorite is a women one act about eve in the garden of eden. She discovers too late the the serpent is Adam’s dick. The off stage chorus chants ‘rue rue the beginning of trickery is done with his prickery’ I knew all that brecht I read in college would pay off.
  any dancers? my ‘7-veils’ needs an earthtype women to dance a samba.

• 28 pal Jacky // Jul 1, 2008 at 5:12 pm

  the brilliance comes from ‘married…with children’. That sit-com showed that one can exploit women in every possible way as long as one has an out lesbian in the cast. I call it ‘lesbian theater’ and veils 5 and 6 are the right and left tassels and veil 7 is, well you get the idea, everybody wins.

• 29 JohnnyBoy // Jul 1, 2008 at 5:19 pm

  Pure misogny…and 0% Tranny Fat !

  I once kicked around the idea of Lenin ! The Musical

  One of the numbers was “The dancers control the means of production”

• 30 JohnnyBoy // Jul 1, 2008 at 5:20 pm

  I knew it was archived somewhere:

  Lenin ! The Musical !

  starting with the Overthrow Overture

  Other musical numbers…..The Trotsky Trot (full cast)
  “I know Bolshevik when I hear it” (Kerensky)
  “Marx my Words” (Trotsky)
  “The dancers control the means of production” (full cast)

• 31 pal Jacky // Jul 1, 2008 at 6:00 pm

  don’t laugh too hard. Have you read the librettos of some of the soviet operas and ballets? Khatchaturan’s ‘Gayne’ (best know for ’sabre dance’but my favorite the haunting ‘gayne’s adagio’ used in ‘2001′ for that first look at the discovery). Originally it was a boy meets girl romeo and juliet among peasant farmers, then it became some sort of pro tractorpiece with the bad guys being anti communal living. Khachtaurian needed to fall in to good graces with the government.

• 32 pal Jacky // Jul 1, 2008 at 6:09 pm

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gayaneh
  bilbao says ‘check it out’. Those looking for music from ‘gayne’ can find a suite of dances quite readily, but finally Tjeknavorion’s late 1970’s RCA recording recording of the complete ballet is on CD.

• 33 JohnnyBoy // Jul 1, 2008 at 6:22 pm

  there’s Suites 1 2 & 3 on eMusic, I’ll check that out

• 34 pal Jacky // Jul 1, 2008 at 6:57 pm

  is that the naxos recording by anichanov? I have it, it is a good one hour sampler. It kept me in good stead until the RCA complete was re-released. I had it on vinyl so I have a big hard on for it.
  The adagio on the anichanov could be a bit sweeter, but the best known, the kondrasion on DG used in ‘2001′ is perhaps the sweetest of them all and so since so much of the more ‘lively’ music on the naxos disc is first rate, It still is a top recommendation. So is its companion discs of ‘maskarade’ and ’sparticus’.

• 35 pal Jacky // Jul 1, 2008 at 7:05 pm

  what does this have to do with anything?
  When I open my lesbian dinner theater by the Redondo beach dog park. Suday is going to be ballet night. If some homo can do an all male ’swan lake’ I can do an all lezbo ’sparticus’.

• 36 John Foley // Jul 1, 2008 at 7:42 pm

  Yup- packed full of rich, creamery women-bashing.

• 37 JohnnyBoy // Jul 1, 2008 at 7:59 pm

  “is that the naxos recording by anichanov?”

  yes, it is….thanks…I’ll be downloading it in a few days or so

• 38 JohnnyBoy // Jul 1, 2008 at 8:01 pm

  I am Sparticlit…..NO, I am Sparticlit

  there, how’s that do ya?

• 39 JohnnyBoy // Jul 1, 2008 at 8:03 pm

  There should be a Miso-Gynecologist, where you could get Soup-n-Speculum

  other soups…wanton, and brothel

• 40 Speedy Cerviche // Jul 1, 2008 at 8:38 pm

  Why can’t women drive?

  Ain’t no road between the kitchen and the bedroom.

  Now git me another beer.

• 41 Speedy Cerviche // Jul 1, 2008 at 8:43 pm

  And of course, Paul Giamatti gave us this one:

  “Why is a gun better than a woman?

  You can put a silencer on a gun.”

  Try the veal.

• 42 pal Jacky // Jul 1, 2008 at 10:14 pm

  goddess moon:’death to the musky snake people’
  goddess sun:’ child bearing hips must stay pure’
  salome’not that head, the one that spurts the seeds of evil”

  See lesbian dinner theater is easy just put a few of medea’s recipes on the menu and they rug munchers will be chomping at the bit just to attend.

• 43 jaxworlds // Jul 1, 2008 at 11:50 pm

  Man.. you are really out there jacky, god love ya.. I need a GPS that does 4rth dimension to find ya sometimes..

• 44 pal Jacky // Jul 2, 2008 at 9:05 am

  http://www.mylifetime.com/sweeps/ewfc/submit.php
  the videos are due on the 8th and I don’t have much time. I think something about how Joan of Ark replaces St. Peter at the pearly gates and there is no longer any war. Now I probably can’t pull off being a pretty woman, but ugly lezbo drag I can fool ‘em for a little while.

• 45 JohnnyBoy // Jul 2, 2008 at 9:40 am

  “Connie and Punani Smoke Estrogen”

  Synopsis: After finding out that over 85% of lesbians are women, Connie & Punani embark on a road trip to find the other 15%. Hilarity ensues as they are chased cross-country byNeil Patrick Harris

• 46 pal Jacky // Jul 2, 2008 at 10:25 am

  JB can you do it in three minutes by next tuesday? Since it is ‘lifetime’, I should stick to a less lofty statement hence ‘Bum Rap, the Susan Smith story’. After her ex husband kills their children and brainwashes her into believing she did it, Susan finally finds true love in the arms of a fellow inmate at the female prison. I think it would best if I went to the award ceremony in a wheelchair for the sympathy vote. “she’s ugly and crippled”

• 47 JohnnyBoy // Jul 2, 2008 at 10:34 am

  In the Lifetime SuperHero Genre…
  Cuntress, starring Valerie Bertinelli as Helena Bertinelli

• 48 JohnnyBoy // Jul 2, 2008 at 10:39 am

  She fights the UltraPenisite with the help of the X-Menses

• 49 Speedy Cerviche // Jul 2, 2008 at 11:15 am

  hahahaha

• 50 pal Jacky // Jul 2, 2008 at 11:16 am

  after I win bigtime with ‘bum rap’ I think my first lifetime feature will go in a completely different direction’Framed-the andrea yates story’ Andrea yates comes home to discover her husband has killed their five children. He brainwashes her into confessing. Only in the arms of another woman behind bars does andrea find the love she deserves. I’m gonna be wheeling around and around in my scooter at the emmys real soon. If I pretend to have palsey, I can droop my head over my chin no one will see my adam’s apple-even if i drool. “how brave she is. To think she really does have a brilliant mind underneath all that palsy” they will say as a I ram into them on the red carpet. Perhaps I can hook up my catheter to one of those spraying flowers. “smee…llll flllllowwweeer Riiiiiyyyyan seeeeeecrest.

• 51 JohnnyBoy // Jul 2, 2008 at 11:36 am

  I couldn’t pretend to be a woman, I’m having trouble enough pretending to be a grown man

• 52 DavidinBerkeley // Jul 2, 2008 at 12:55 pm

  Speedy and TalkinHorse:

  I (seriously) can’t afford an mp3 player. The cd-mp3 player was a loooooooong-term loan from someone who has moved on to better technology (probably a player like you have named). I can only occasionally buy cd’s for burning.

  (We could get into a discussion about whether I would actually NEED one since my listening habits don’t involve traveling with my sound files, but AW doesn’t like us to talk too much about non-post stuff….)

  I did a conversion and found that if I set the specs for the conversion to the same as the original, I get a file almost the same size. So at least it won’t take more cd’s when I do The Winchell Set.

• 53 Stretch99 // Jul 2, 2008 at 1:00 pm

  Here is the perfect reading material to go with this

  http://tinyurl.com/2m3z9h

  THE BIG PENIS BOOK!!

  you can thank me later

• 54 pal Jacky // Jul 2, 2008 at 6:55 pm

  I don’t think I could pull off pretending to be a real woman. But a palsied up lezbotic in a hover-round, I think I have a shot. I’ll even eyebrow pencil between my eyebrows to give a unabrow look so no one would be surprised at any 5:oo shadow elsewhere. I could yap away about hoe lorena bobbett was persecuted for her religious practices for cleansing the marital bed defiled by a filthy man.

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