Haven’t spent enough time on the phone with someone in India trying to get your printer to work?
Why not send a singing telegram from TajTunes?
For only $5, you can send a horribly composed and heavily accented song to anyone you choose. All the songs on TajTunes are original, so there’s no familiar melodies or logic involved. And with no pesky royalties or taxes to deal with, they don’t have to worry about pronouncing “injunction”!
Here’s a sample from the “Congratulations” collection:
Who knew cookies were such a big part of Indian culture? That must be why those rats are always drinking milk in the temples. You got to wash those Snickerdoodles down with something.
And doesn’t the recipient of the call look . . . moved? Or something? Well you would be too if your phone rang and you heard this on the other end:
Isn’t that fantastic? They’ll even make an mp3 of the whole thing and email it to you, so you can hear your horrified friend trying to get off the phone so they can kill you.
Still not convinced?
Then how about this special message for a valuable employee?
If they don’t quit after that, well, you’ll just have to shoot them.
TajTunes also offers birthday greetings, messages of love, get well soon and lots more! Head on over and enjoy the selection.
You won’t be sari!
18 responses so far ↓
1 Gina // Jul 30, 2008 at 11:52 am
Racist! I’m offended! Delete my account! Fuck all of you scumbags! I have no use for you.
2 Andre // Jul 30, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Damn! Now I can’t get that catchy tune out of my head.
“Bum pa-dum bum bum.
Bum, bum, bum.”
3 John Foley // Jul 30, 2008 at 12:55 pm
I heard it from an unimpeachable source that April Winchell was “full of fail.”
4 Xanadude // Jul 30, 2008 at 12:58 pm
I wonder if they have sympathy ones like if you have a miscarriage: “Please believe us, we’re so sorry about your fetus.”
5 Speedy Cerviche // Jul 30, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Man, cookies are pretty damn good.
All in all, I think I’d rather have my friends drop that $5 on a batch of Honky-Macs from the bakery down the street. No Indian ditty will ever be as good as a fine cookie.
6 pal Jacky // Jul 30, 2008 at 1:56 pm
how come whenever I call up a friend with and sing gibberish I’m slapped with a restraining order?
7 JohnnyBoy // Jul 30, 2008 at 4:01 pm
“full of fail”
FARQUE !
sounds like a title. or part of a prayer
8 Gina // Jul 30, 2008 at 4:05 pm
This is not classy.
9 TalkinHorse // Jul 30, 2008 at 5:34 pm
I don’t understand. Why should I pay them $5 when I can call the person myself and click on the play button and hold the phone next to my computer speaker? This service would make sense if they were conveying death threats or other information that could have criminal consequences. In that case, it would be handy to have a relay in India, which would make it difficult for the authorities to track down the source. “Tra la! Tra la! Tra la! Leave the money in a bag with the Gelsons butcher if you ever want to see your mother-in-law alive again!” That sort of thing.
10 Gunner13 // Jul 30, 2008 at 7:48 pm
Man TalkinHorse you just destroyed their whole business model (such as it was anyway)!
Best not to start with singing ransom-o-grams on Mothers in Law for the next model either. You might get stuck holding on to her (anyone remember the Ransom of Red Chief?).
I can see a small business in sending these things to people you don’t like. I was an employee who received Super Duper Jobs, you would not have to shoot me, I would just quit and talk bad about you.
Hey April , thanks for this one however. This is funny, weird and not at all as threatening as the Mummy Formerly Know as Madonna.
11 JohnnyBoy // Jul 31, 2008 at 7:14 am
For your penance, say 3 Hail Winchells and an Our Foley
12 bnaivar // Jul 31, 2008 at 7:47 am
New business to reward poor performing employees:
“Here’s your Shit Sandwich!”
13 thefifthbeatle // Jul 31, 2008 at 9:54 am
BUMBADUMBUMPUM
14 thefifthbeatle // Jul 31, 2008 at 9:56 am
I’d love to hear her version of “The Little Drummer Boy”.
15 gary // Aug 1, 2008 at 12:02 am
Bumbadumbubum
My internet is down.
Yes, I reset my router
Bumbadumbumbum
Thanks, “Jim”, for nothing
etc.
16 Stretch99 // Aug 1, 2008 at 10:25 am
Wing is envious she didn’t think to do this first
17 jim // Aug 2, 2008 at 10:23 am
Not to impeach your source, John … but:
“You won’t be sari” = WIN
Paranomasia no-scope headshot!
18 JohnnyBoy // Aug 2, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Yeah, that’ll put a patina on the ol’ punani !
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