April Winchell

26 responses so far ↓

• 1 Speedy Cerviche // Sep 19, 2008 at 11:42 pm

  My instinct is to write a 2,000 word comment and hijack this thread for my own gratification, since I’m too lazy to get my own blog. Instead, I’ll be respectful and simply say I think I’ve seen this before.

• 2 Nusa // Sep 20, 2008 at 1:09 am

  Pre-nups, the ultimate test of how much she really loves you!

• 3 Nusa // Sep 20, 2008 at 1:18 am

  If she’d gone to college, she might have know how to do research. Then she might know that 4 out 5 billionaire men in the U.S. are college dropouts.

• 4 PeekaBooRevue // Sep 20, 2008 at 5:30 am

  Can you record this in your Christina Aguilera voice?

• 5 ira_shlamazel // Sep 20, 2008 at 7:43 am

  Well then. No worries for April!

  Just sit there and look pretty.

  Get busy, John, those bills won’t pay themselves!

• 6 Egregious // Sep 20, 2008 at 9:09 am

  More Lynzee:

• 7 Egregious // Sep 20, 2008 at 9:10 am

  http://digg.funniestclip.com/Lynzee_Stauss/

• 8 JohnnyQuest666 // Sep 20, 2008 at 9:26 am

  Thanks, Egregious – so it seems she’s a real teenager. I fear for our nation’s future…

  What I wonder about is the source of the article – is someone quoting her in column form, is this from her high school paper, or something else? Becasue I dont think there was an editor available – very disstressing.

  Remember girls: Don’t make any plans that need college to succeed! Marry every guy that is rich and go get your nails done.

• 9 SoCalFKK // Sep 20, 2008 at 9:54 am

  Suddenly the reported 20% swing of white females from Obama to Palin is not so inexplicable. Sisters, keep it together!

• 10 Irvingstark // Sep 20, 2008 at 10:27 am

  So, basically, take all the strides made for women in the past 70 years and wipe your butt with it. Good work if you can get it.

• 11 DavidinBerkeley // Sep 20, 2008 at 10:54 am

  What is the source of this article?

• 12 chrisbcritter // Sep 20, 2008 at 11:25 am

  Dr. Laura’s newsletter?

• 13 Andre // Sep 20, 2008 at 11:59 am

  Thank you, Betty Draper.

• 14 Speedy Cerviche // Sep 20, 2008 at 3:50 pm

  Meh, I live life to the fullest and I have no regrets.

  And my previous comment was nowhere near the 2,000 word mark. Stifle freedom of expression if you must, but please, no exaggerations.

• 15 April // Sep 20, 2008 at 3:54 pm

  Sorry, 679.

• 16 JohnnyBoy // Sep 20, 2008 at 5:17 pm

  I guess boys will just have to learn about Gilgamesh and Ink-a-dink-a-doo in college

• 17 Speedy Cerviche // Sep 20, 2008 at 5:22 pm

  Please don’t tell me you actually counted the words. That would mean you have even less of a life than I. Hell, even if you just copied and pasted into a word processing program… That’s still too much exertion on your part. Believe me, I don’t warrant that kind of effort.

  I’m sorry for once again hijacking this thread for my own gratification, I’ll stop posting.

• 18 Speedy Cerviche // Sep 20, 2008 at 5:33 pm

  And yes, JB, the boys will learn.

  Although we all know the two kings (queens?) of ancient Sumerian homoerotic subtext were Utnapishtim and the Scorpion Man. You saw those lingering looks they gave each other.

  I think it’s safe to assume that Ur had a robust “domestic partnership” thing going on.

  Talk about hijackin’ fer yer own gratification!

• 19 pal Jacky // Sep 20, 2008 at 7:06 pm

  smart men don’t like stupid women. the ‘reported’ 20% of white women voting for republican this year, well it shifted back after people realized that palin was a lying bitch. My sister is a soccer mom and there is always one of those one the field’my child is the best and should play all the time’. So 80% of soccer moms hate the palin type and 20% are.

• 20 EverybodysLittlePony // Sep 20, 2008 at 8:50 pm

  Wow. Maybe the terrorists are right after all.

• 21 jim // Sep 20, 2008 at 9:01 pm

  Journalism as she is writed.

  Move over, Murrow, Mencken & Twain – there’s a new girl on the block!

  GRRL POWER!!!11!1!

• 22 SpicyD // Sep 20, 2008 at 9:39 pm

  some is someone arguing that they think this woman should go to college?

• 23 Speedy Cerviche // Sep 21, 2008 at 1:27 am

  They need to do way instain woman> who attend their college. becuase these college cannot frigth back?

  it was on the news this mroing a woman in ca who had earn her three degrees . they are taking the three diploma back to new york too company to get career my pary are with the dean who lost his diplomas ; i am truley sorry for your lots

• 24 socalfrank // Sep 21, 2008 at 10:54 am

  Sounds like every Newport Beach girl I knew growing up, only they did go to college, not to learn anything, but to MEET the man who would support them like a princess.

• 25 MyMonoclePoppedOut // Sep 22, 2008 at 3:47 am

  Umm, I wonder if she’s aware that if your “rich husband” decides to leave you for a whore with fake tits and bleached hair; that without a job or education, you’d be out of luck? Does she know that that situation happens quite often?
  Is she also aware that there are some women who’d rather hang themselves in the closet with a necktie, rather than be some little puke’s mother? For God sake, run a daycare? That would be an unending nightmare. I can’t stand children, I can barely tolerate most real people.
  “A backup plan that isn’t full time.” There’s nothing like living in a run down apartment with 4 kids and the salary of a McDonald’s employee.
  I guess the stupid started real early for little Lynzee, when her parents decided to spell her name that way.

• 26 Thank you, Miss America. « Paco’s Joke for Da Day // Sep 24, 2008 at 5:57 pm

  [...] September 25, 2008 [Hat tip] [...]