Those fuckwads at Crest have asked me to be their BFF on YouTube.
Of course, they aren’t posting my contest entry or anything. No, they’re just friend collectors. And there’s no way they’re getting in my Top 8.
Get a ladder, Crest, and just get over yourself.
24 responses so far ↓
1 steve // Sep 22, 2008 at 10:49 am
oh, favoriting. that’s good.
2 JohnnyBoy // Sep 22, 2008 at 10:49 am
Frest!
3 davidhazard71 // Sep 22, 2008 at 11:21 am
Don’t blame you April
4 Speedy Cerviche // Sep 22, 2008 at 11:26 am
I was going to make a bad joke using the phrase “crestfallen”, but I thought better of it. I am a pillar of restraint.
5 MyMonoclePoppedOut // Sep 22, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Wonder if Crest got themselves a Myspace. I can never have too many imaginary friends.
California residents, vote Yes on Proposition 2. I don’t even live there, and I just donated $50 to the cause. A similar law was passed here in Arizona, and we’re overrun with heartless pinheads.
http://yesonprop2.com
6 Speedy Cerviche // Sep 22, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Monocle, why do you want the terrorists to poison our food?
http://www.safecaliforniafood.org/
7 Kandi // Sep 22, 2008 at 5:23 pm
They love you! They really really really love you!
8 Knavish Rogue // Sep 22, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Crester!
9 joshpincusiscrying // Sep 22, 2008 at 8:11 pm
tell them that your heart belongs to Colgate.
10 TalkinHorse // Sep 22, 2008 at 11:14 pm
With friends like this, who needs enemas?
11 Xanadude // Sep 22, 2008 at 11:27 pm
I did a video with Crest coming out of my w**n*r but did they friend me? Holy f*ck*ng c*ckb*lls they did not! F*ck them, April! That mint is sh*tty!
12 PeekaBooRevue // Sep 23, 2008 at 4:15 am
Well looks like you have finally made it to the big-time, hussy! Not jealous or anything, just sayin’…
13 Doug // Sep 23, 2008 at 5:03 am
Xanadude – Lessee….Crest came out of your w**n*r but it tasted sh*tty….I guess we now know where your weiner’s been!
14 bnaivar // Sep 23, 2008 at 5:09 am
*Script for the new Crest commercial*
Mom: “Crest, who have you been watching on You Tube for so long?”
Crest: “IDK, my BFF April?”
15 leminisnicketpoofinbombjenson // Sep 23, 2008 at 8:07 am
Is it just me, or is your “log in to comment” graphic REALLY pornographic? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
16 Speedy Cerviche // Sep 23, 2008 at 7:37 pm
I just finished lurking on Ebay. The item I was searching for?
Something called a “Champion Blower”.
Just thought you gents would appreciate that.
17 jasonthegreat // Sep 24, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Totally irrelevant question: April, I was reading some random blog and the guy was talking about he tried out for the new “Million Dollar Password” show, but didn’t get on. However, he said the funny lady with a lot of personality next to him probably made it, especially since she was originally up for the Linda Blair role in “The Exorcist.” Could this have been you? Or are you mortally wounded that I would suggest you might go on a celebrity game show as a “regular” person?
18 April // Sep 24, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Why would I be wounded? Being called a “regular person” is a compliment.
No, I didn’t try out. I don’t try out for game shows because most of them won’t use people in SAG.
19 jasonthegreat // Sep 24, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Shucks; I guess it was just a mighty coincidence.
I lived in Burbank for a few years in a small enclave of C and D List celebrities. They were very sensitive to things like being called a “regular” person. I’ll never forget how I pissed off some Mouseketeer by saying I was in film school at USC. “But my daughter didn’t get in! And we’re already in the business. I guess they’re just letting regular people in these days.”
Of course, this woman didn’t have a quarter your talent or resume, but she always managed to work the Mousketeer thing into the first thirty seconds of any conversation.
20 Andre // Sep 24, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Jason,
Seeing where her career is at, maybe it actually WAS Linda Blair trying out for Million Dollar Password.
21 JohnnyBoy // Sep 24, 2008 at 5:10 pm
“where’d the mutha fuggin Crest go?….I don’t know”
Ween
22 TalkinHorse // Sep 25, 2008 at 2:44 am
What’s this on the Twitter list about April buying a Smart Car? Is she saying she bought one of these? The Smart Fortwo is a nifty little car; I wouldn’t mind having one, but at this stage of the game you’ve got to fight to get it, which means you pay too much. And there’s probably not much of a service network. Maybe one day they’ll be readily available, but I’m thinking they’re maybe more of a PR gimick and a loss leader…in which case they’ll always be in short supply. Anyway, I’d be surprised if April actually got one.
23 Doug // Sep 25, 2008 at 4:31 am
I just noticed there is a Smart dealership here in Birmingham AL…I’d love to get one but it won’t fit three. Drat.
24 JohnnyBoy // Sep 25, 2008 at 8:45 am
I don’t advise getting one…..from what I’ve heard, the MPG figures plummet when you actually try and accelerate. Which you will have to do to get out of the way of the semi bearing down on you.
I do recommend the Toyota Yaris, I’ve had mine for a year and it’s been great. Not for men with adequacy issues, though.
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