April Winchell

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It’s a Draw

December 3rd, 2008 · 42 Comments

Tags: Dead People · Holidays · Jews · Terrible Music

42 responses so far ↓

  • 1 yelkcub // Dec 3, 2008 at 9:33 am

    sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY!
    It’s Omnipotent Baby versus the Fat Man!
    Santa’s got a sleigh full of sadness for the Saviour!
    But can Santa’s sack handle what Baby Jesus has hidden in his diaper for hims jolly ass!?
    Bring an unwrapped gift for Toys for Tots or an unwarapped crucifix for Haloes for Hebrews and get half-off the already low. Low, LOW ticket price of only eight bucks!
    Fairplex Pomona – BE THERE!

  • 2 JohnnyBoy // Dec 3, 2008 at 9:53 am

    “God help us Jesus, God and Baby Jesus help us”
    Sol Rosenberg

  • 3 eBayEnigma // Dec 3, 2008 at 11:53 am

    It looks like they’re canceling out each other’s X-ray vision.

  • 4 Dave M. // Dec 3, 2008 at 12:02 pm

    This is a great idea for a scene in the remake of Rosemary’s Baby…
    just check out those baby grabbing hooks!
    “Rosemary’s Baby II, Saint Nick’s Back.”

  • 5 Stretch99 // Dec 3, 2008 at 1:49 pm

    …its the light bouncing off April’s sequins…

  • 6 pal Jacky // Dec 3, 2008 at 2:23 pm

    one euphemism for the devil is ‘old nick’. ’saint nick’ isn’t that far off. If only nostrodamus hadn’t spent so much time babbling about the horrors of ‘two and 1/2 men’ he could have enlightened us.
    It was in Those quatrains about ‘2 brothers’ that some foolishly assumed were about john and robert kennedy. Like nostrodamus would really have thought they were important.

  • 7 exit // Dec 3, 2008 at 10:35 pm

    I can’t take my eyes off of it and it has a lot power

  • 8 Mavis // Dec 4, 2008 at 2:33 pm

    The winner and still champine, The Baby Jesus!

  • 9 JohnnyBoy // Dec 4, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    No……it’s a draw

  • 10 Speedy Cerviche // Dec 4, 2008 at 3:12 pm

    Try to keep up, Mavis.

  • 11 DavidinBerkeley // Dec 4, 2008 at 6:06 pm

    This is what we should send AW for Christmas:

    http://tinyurl.com/6cxpt

  • 12 Speedy Cerviche // Dec 4, 2008 at 6:59 pm

    “turdtwister.com”

    Hmmmmm. Not sure if I wanna click on that, Mr. Berkeley.

    Oh, who the hell am I kidding? Of course I want to..

  • 13 Mr Pete // Dec 4, 2008 at 9:39 pm

    Don’t click on it. I got a Norton message about an intrusion attempt – blocked.

  • 14 JohnnyBoy // Dec 5, 2008 at 7:24 am

    So did I

    I did catch a glimpse of it though

    Don’t play with your food is what I was always told.

  • 15 JohnnyBoy // Dec 5, 2008 at 7:25 am

    It’s Fee-Cees , it’s Fee-Cees, time to have fun with Fee-Cees !

  • 16 DavidinBerkeley // Dec 5, 2008 at 1:26 pm

    I got a warning about a file when I tried it now.

    That’s the last time I use tinyurl.com.

  • 17 DavidinBerkeley // Dec 5, 2008 at 1:29 pm

    How about buying this for her instead?

    http://www.coolest-gadgets.com/20080818/drive-bay-toaster-makes-toast-with-your-pc/

  • 18 Stretch99 // Dec 5, 2008 at 1:46 pm

    turdtwister- blockage?-
    try more fiber and ruffage

  • 19 pal Jacky // Dec 5, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    https://www.getsnuggie.com/flare/next?tag=ED|SM|GO|GN|
    This has been mentioned before, April needs this.I don’t think I can live without mine. I like to wear it grocery shopping and they don’t look at me funny at all after a while, or until they realize it is the guy who buys yogurt and pork rinds and not much else. It is also great for lounging about at the local starbucks, In fact, people started putting money in my empty cup thinking a was some profound performance artist. I think they might be right.

  • 20 clevelandphil // Dec 5, 2008 at 3:57 pm

    It’s an overpriced housecoat.

  • 21 pal Jacky // Dec 5, 2008 at 4:52 pm

    But it is cheaper than the isolation smock. scroll down a bit. Although I think I’m gonna do all my holiday shopping on this site.
    http://www.pxdirect.com/Restraints-Isolation.htm

  • 22 clevelandphil // Dec 6, 2008 at 1:07 am

    Boy George could’ve used that one.

  • 23 jandu // Dec 6, 2008 at 1:13 am

    Nice to see Dane Cook’s working again

  • 24 pal Jacky // Dec 6, 2008 at 1:27 pm

    http://www.pxdirect.com/Restraints-Extraction.htm
    What about the female at the bottom of this page? Doesn’t she have any friends to tell her that modeling isn’t working out.

  • 25 JohnnyBoy // Dec 6, 2008 at 8:48 pm

    Just because she gets all wrapped up in her work is no reason to criticize her

  • 26 Speedy Cerviche // Dec 7, 2008 at 12:28 am

    Man, the price on that straitjacket is insane.

  • 27 jandu // Dec 7, 2008 at 1:21 am

    just imagine how much the gayjacket is………..

  • 28 JohnnyBoy // Dec 7, 2008 at 8:27 am

    I’m not sure, but the pants are usually half- off

  • 29 pal Jacky // Dec 7, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    but it is a quality straitjacket.. Since my dogs are no help, I have to find one that is easy to get into by oneself. Of course, when I need to take it off, I just wander down to the mall and moan ‘help me, help me’.

  • 30 pal Jacky // Dec 7, 2008 at 1:53 pm

    notice that the ’suicide watch gown’ fits juveniles as well as adults. My nephew is going to be the most fashionable boy in sixth grade.

  • 31 Knavish Rogue // Dec 7, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    Well, this just sucks…

    http://www.stockroom.com/Latex-Vac-Bed-P1011.aspx

  • 32 pal Jacky // Dec 7, 2008 at 5:34 pm

    traditional ‘bondage’ gear is so 9/10. Most of us have switched to these home prison items. of course, I’m still the only one I know to wear them in public. If anyone gets an isolation or suicide smock and wants to learn to drive in it. I can help.

  • 33 JohnnyBoy // Dec 7, 2008 at 6:45 pm

    “theVac-Bed is only air tight as long as the vacuum cleaner remains turned on”
    That’d be annoying

  • 34 yelkcub // Dec 7, 2008 at 9:59 pm

    step 1 – buy a bunch of old air hockey tables
    step 2 – rip out air blowing part but leave holes
    step 3 – add hefty bags
    step 4 – concoct semi-legally defensible instructions
    step 5 – mark up a bajillion dollars
    step 6 – sell to perverts
    step 7 – take profits, go to bar and put in real air hockey table

  • 35 JohnnyBoy // Dec 8, 2008 at 10:34 am

    One of those steps should be “steal underpants” but I don’t know which number

  • 36 pal Jacky // Dec 8, 2008 at 12:01 pm

    http://www.stockroom.com/The-Fantasy-Glide-P3063.aspx
    this might be excellent enhancement for the Nintendo Wii. With its motion sensitive controller. Instead of ‘Wii fit’, the game could be called ‘wii fet’.

  • 37 pal Jacky // Dec 8, 2008 at 2:31 pm

    http://www.pazsaz.com/cancel.html
    It is a good year. at least according to this website. I was confirming that ‘mad tv’ had been cancelled(the last few seasons have been weak) and there it is on the axed list ‘mind of mencia’. I was wondering why ComCentral hasn’t been blasting his odious mug for a while.

  • 38 DavidinBerkeley // Dec 8, 2008 at 5:28 pm

    Jim Carrey plays gay!

    Kisses Ewan McGregor!
    http://www.jimcarreyonline.com/images/displayimage.php?album=402&pos=0

    The new Brokeback? (prison this time)
    http://www.jimcarreyonline.com/movies/iloveyou.html

    Premiere at Sundance!
    http://www.jimcarreyonline.com/recent/news.php?id=1253

    Pressing question:
    Will there be a tent scene?

  • 39 JohnnyBoy // Dec 9, 2008 at 6:58 am

    Probably because he’s hanging around with those artistic kids

  • 40 pal Jacky // Dec 9, 2008 at 12:39 pm

    I hope they get ready for butt sex with EM talking to JC’s ass. And the ass talking back.

  • 41 Knavish Rogue // Dec 9, 2008 at 1:54 pm

    Obi Wan Kenobi makes out with Stanley Ipkiss? Yikes! That is so gay.

  • 42 Glogg Links » Ayyyy! // Dec 12, 2008 at 6:59 pm

    [...] The Battle of Christmas (AprilWinchell) [...]

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