April Winchell

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Little Wings

January 13th, 2009 · 47 Comments

Tags: Terrible Music · Video · WTF

47 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Scott // Jan 13, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    My name is Forrest. Forrest Gump.

  • 2 Gunner13 // Jan 13, 2009 at 2:53 pm

    Second!

    April,

    Thanks, that was refreshingly awful. The Flamboyant Phil Katt has a lot to answer for here.

    I am not sure what the worst part of this is: the awful voice work, bizarre lyrics, geeky wardrobe, camera/visual effects “work” or the stiff little dance Mr. Gormley does (is he standing sideways or is it the camera angle?)

    As much as I dislike seagulls (rats with wings if you ask me), they should sue for being in this bloody trip to weirdville.

    And what is up with Ms. Ashton at the end? This whole thing should remain in the uncharted zone.

  • 3 Speedy Cerviche // Jan 13, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    The Uncharted Zone! Alright! April sure is raising the class level today!

  • 4 pal Jacky // Jan 13, 2009 at 3:35 pm

    Good thing I haven’t posted any of my Kate Bush Karaoke on youtube. You bunch of heathen scums would just laugh at it.
    “I had my yo-yo that glowed in the dark…’

  • 5 Ira Shlamazel // Jan 13, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    Where is Hitchcock when you need him?

    His eyes need serious gouging…

    Ah, jeez. Now my thyroid hurts.

  • 6 joshpincusiscrying // Jan 13, 2009 at 4:18 pm

    eeeccccchhh!
    I couldn’t make it past the one minute-fifteen mark.

  • 7 elvisaintdead // Jan 13, 2009 at 5:52 pm

    Wow. Stephen Root’s really hit a rough patch.

  • 8 bflat // Jan 13, 2009 at 6:09 pm

    I watched it to the end. Next dare.

  • 9 Jersey Mahoney // Jan 13, 2009 at 6:25 pm

    Don’t tell him, but I’ve got this guy’s stapler.

  • 10 marcgermain // Jan 13, 2009 at 7:15 pm

    I don’t know what you people were watching but I think this guy rocks! You try singing like that, haters.

  • 11 DavidinBerkeley // Jan 13, 2009 at 7:46 pm

    Wow. Hasselhoff and the dachsunds have got some competition!

  • 12 theFatTubist // Jan 13, 2009 at 8:37 pm

    This is a classic example of great idea, poor execution. I think the music and lyrics are there, but they are sung by the most entirely incorrect person in the world.

    But once again, its that great mixture of sincerity and mediocrity that April and zone in on that keeps me coming back!

  • 13 vonriesling // Jan 13, 2009 at 10:27 pm

    Christ on a ski rope. That song is in my head now. The whistling puts it over the top.

  • 14 bnaivar // Jan 14, 2009 at 8:24 am

    He’s doing pretty well since the land mine blew his nuts off.

  • 15 ListenerJustin // Jan 14, 2009 at 10:20 am

    Are we sure this isn’t a scene from that “Tim & Eric” show on [Adult Swim]? They have some pretty heinous skits, and this looks almost exactly like one of theirs.

  • 16 pal Jacky // Jan 14, 2009 at 11:47 am

    Of course, I have posted on X-tube my nude interpretive dance to Vaughn Williams ‘the lark ascending’. You she see how far I can ascend.

  • 17 Andre // Jan 14, 2009 at 2:10 pm

    Eh. When it comes to bird songs, I’ll stick with Tom Wilson’s “Lesbian Seagull”.

  • 18 Knavish Rogue // Jan 14, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    OMG. WTF?

  • 19 Speedy Cerviche // Jan 14, 2009 at 3:56 pm

    Hey, did you hear? Ricardo Montalbán 404′d today.

    His organs will be donated to science, his bones will be interred in Mexico City, and his skin will be sent to a small tanning plant in Corinth.

  • 20 clevelandphil // Jan 14, 2009 at 7:47 pm

    Ricardo Monalban and Patrick Mcgoohan. Both were on shows that were set on island paradises.

  • 21 April // Jan 14, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    This doesn’t bode well for Russell Johnson.

  • 22 JohnnyBoy // Jan 14, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    Was Russell Johnson in any Columbo episodes?

  • 23 ImMebsMom // Jan 14, 2009 at 8:13 pm

    That is quite possibly one of the most nausiating things since the norovirous!

  • 24 JohnnyBoy // Jan 14, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    hmmm…he was in a McMillan &Wife, which was part of the NBC Mystery Movie rotation……

  • 25 Speedy Cerviche // Jan 14, 2009 at 8:17 pm

    He was also the narrator for a craptastic Robotech movie. Motherfucker deserves whatever fate he gets…

  • 26 JohnnyBoy // Jan 14, 2009 at 8:53 pm

    ummm… you should probably point out that he fought the Japs in WWII and not the Taiwanese

  • 27 Mr Pete // Jan 14, 2009 at 11:28 pm

    JohnnyBoy: think TV islands… surviving male stars… comes in 3s…

  • 28 JohnnyBoy // Jan 15, 2009 at 8:00 am

    McHale’s Navy was based on an island

  • 29 Andre // Jan 15, 2009 at 5:45 pm

    Bob Eubanks hosted the game show “Diamondhead” from an island.

  • 30 pal Jacky // Jan 15, 2009 at 8:10 pm

    I wouldn’t be too worried about russell Johnson. We’ve all seen ‘the harlem globetrotters on Gilligan’s island’. What is that line from the classic horror film ‘pumpkinhead’? ‘ sometimes dead is better’. Okay it was a horrible movie, but it was parodied on ’south park’ (butters as margerine episode)so it has been elevated a tad.

  • 31 Speedy Cerviche // Jan 16, 2009 at 10:35 am

    Star sighting by proxy: yesterday my mom performed medical procedures on Etta James. Mrs. James very sweet and talkative, and she uses old-school jazzy slang in her everyday speech. And she wears a wig.

    This also means I am now 3 steps removed from Beyoncé, which is far closer than I am comfortable with.

  • 32 JohnnyBoy // Jan 16, 2009 at 2:24 pm

    She don’t scare me…I ain’t afraid’a nothing…see?

  • 33 pal Jacky // Jan 16, 2009 at 4:32 pm

    my brother-in-law grew up with John -john kennedy. His father was personal manager to peter lawford and took marilyn’s phone call on the night she died. So I’m one degree from all of those people. My major advisor at berkeley Math department hired the unabomber, so I’m one degree seperation from him. So Frank sinatra, pres kennedy, elvis etc are all three degrees of seperation from Dr. Ted, through ME!!!!!
    call him Dr. Ted because even thought he has a PHD in and not a one in psychology, his manfesto has helped many people with their lives. A situation not unlike Dr. laura, though her doctorate was in P.E.

  • 34 pal Jacky // Jan 16, 2009 at 4:37 pm

    speedy, since there are only two people between you and beyonce, though you are three steps away, you are considered two degrees of seperation away. Does that make you feel any better. PS I’m one degree from Etta James myself through Phil Kaufmann, the road mamager, not the dreary fraud director.

  • 35 Ira Shlamazel // Jan 16, 2009 at 7:51 pm

    Cinnamon bun bread pudding?? What magic cholesterol drug are you on, April??? Sounds good, but I want to live….

  • 36 Speedy Cerviche // Jan 16, 2009 at 7:53 pm

    Call it two degrees or three steps, all I know is that we’re measuring how closely I am associated with Beyoncé. And that’s a deeply disturbing topic no matter what measurement system you use.

  • 37 Speedy Cerviche // Jan 16, 2009 at 7:58 pm

    And as long as we’re commenting on the Twitter feed, may I just say that there is a disturbing amount of Phineas and Ferb porn. Or so I’ve heard.

  • 38 Eli // Jan 16, 2009 at 10:32 pm

    You all must go to http://theunchartedzone.com/ and watch the Top Ten of 2008. The interview with the dead guy is disturbingly funny. Also remember that the place where this is ‘produced’ sits right on the border of Alabama, so it’s a wonder they can even turn the camera on. Motion graphics in the background? High Tech Redneck, indeed.

  • 39 Andre // Jan 16, 2009 at 11:13 pm

    I just came across this on YouTube and had to share it with everyone. It makes me so very, very happy!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2Ii9gB9qe8&feature=related

  • 40 Artie Fisk // Jan 17, 2009 at 8:06 am

    The Fat Tubist was dead on with the word “incorrect.” Irwin Chusid’s old WFMU show “Incorrect Music” would’ve been the IDEAL home for this guy. April, if you’re not familiar with Mr. Chusid’s ideas about DIY, song-poem, and general badness, you oughtta investigate:

    http://www.wfmu.org/playlists/IM

    So much badness. So little time.

  • 41 jim // Jan 18, 2009 at 10:19 am

    Y’know, this actually had me bopping at the start … I mean, you can’t go wrong twiddling two deep meaningful chords.

    But then Teh Mighty Gormster unleashes the fucking fury, & sends the song to a special place … a dark & morbid land where hope dies.

    I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to say “wow” when it stops dead … not “sorry, I’ll just wipe that up for you” … at least not unless it’s going by a label like CRUST-CORE or SNOT-PUNK.

    This really blew!
    Thanks!

  • 42 99 Cent // Jan 19, 2009 at 9:30 pm

    April, did you find this by searching for new ‘Wing’ material?

  • 43 godzthor1 // Jan 20, 2009 at 3:07 am

    It’s like a young Dr. George Fishbeck, doing the weather in 1967.

  • 44 Lips and Hooves // Jan 20, 2009 at 10:32 am

    Does his “In flight!” tag at the end make anyone else think of the “Dramatic Chipmunk”?

    Also,”That’s a lot to spit out.”

    Yeah, baby.

  • 45 99 Cent // Jan 20, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    It feels like his character was cut out of Napoleon Dynamite.

  • 46 Lips and Hooves // Jan 20, 2009 at 1:36 pm

    Hmm. I think you nailed it, 99.

  • 47 Twitter Trackbacks for April Winchell » Little Wings [aprilwinchell.com] on Topsy.com // Aug 26, 2009 at 5:40 pm

    [...] link is being shared on Twitter right now. @renato_q, an influential author, said Little Wings [...]

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