Longtime ex-listeners may remember Dr. Porn, who called in to my show on KFI from time to time.
In addition to being an award-winning pornographer, Dr. Porn is one of my oldest friends, and an absolutely charming bouquet of issues. We have a long, strange history, and have enjoyed many years of compatible neuroses.
Dr. Porn has just asked me to host a sex toy awards ceremony in Los Angeles this summer. Needless to say, I accepted. I don’t know if this event is open to the public, but I’m anticipating some fantastic photos in any case. More details as they develop.
And in other jobs that don’t pay news, I’ll be appearing on Talk Radio One this Tuesday evening, with the effortlessly charming Marc Germain.
Listen in, won’t you?
35 responses so far ↓
1 DavidinBerkeley // Jan 24, 2009 at 4:51 pm
I wondered if The Law Offices of Winchell & Germain had shut down. I’m glad they’ll be back.
When you go to the Sex Toy Awards, please check EVERY seat before you sit down. And maybe bring some moist towelettes.
2 Speedy Cerviche // Jan 24, 2009 at 5:03 pm
The Sex Toy Awards are a sham. Not a single dragon dildo on the nominee list.
3 PeekaBooRevue // Jan 24, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Keep the giftbag
4 JohnnyBoy // Jan 24, 2009 at 6:21 pm
I prefer Classic sex toys, like Etch-a-Snatch, and Rock’em-Sock’em Knockers
and the Easy-Lay Oven
5 Nusa // Jan 24, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Product testing should be fun!
6 Gunner13 // Jan 24, 2009 at 7:26 pm
This is Wonderful! April, please do let us all know if this is open to the common people! I can only imagine what is going to happen!
PeekaBoo is so right – keep that giftbag as it is sure to have some really interesting stuff in it.
7 bnaivar // Jan 24, 2009 at 7:29 pm
(That picture is soooo disturbing.)
8 socalfrank // Jan 24, 2009 at 7:42 pm
I hope you can record and post a video blog of the entire awards show for us….
9 JohnnyBoy // Jan 24, 2009 at 9:22 pm
It’s an honor to get the clap from Gary Busey
10 Happy4LA // Jan 24, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Stay classy …bzzz. …bzzz …
11 JohnnyBoy // Jan 24, 2009 at 9:53 pm
I’m sure there’ll be some good vibes from the crowd
12 Daredevil o' Western Avenue // Jan 24, 2009 at 11:59 pm
If you can just sneak me into the awards, I promise not to be too gauche!
and my ears just tingle when the talk radio show is on…
woof Woof WOOF!
13 pal Jacky // Jan 25, 2009 at 1:09 pm
since dr. porn directs under the name antonio passolini perhaps he could shed some of his thoughts on ’salo-the 120 days of sodom’? perhps he never got that far, the scene in ‘the decameron’ where the guy is hiding under the seat in the outhouse hoping to get shit upon would probably be enough to for me to want to direct porno films under the name passolini.
14 Speedy Cerviche // Jan 25, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Jacky, do you write Salo fanfiction? Do you do Salo LARP with your friends? Do you perform dramatic interpretive dance numbers based upon Salo? I think you’d be really good at it.
15 DavidinBerkeley // Jan 25, 2009 at 5:56 pm
“I prefer Classic sex toys, like Etch-a-Snatch, and Rock’em-Sock’em Knockers and the Easy-Lay Oven”
Any man who says stuff like this is one I want to have around the house.
Are you married, JohnnyBoy? Are you gay?
And if you’re not gay, do you drink?
16 JohnnyBoy // Jan 25, 2009 at 6:27 pm
Married, not gay, I DO drink but not as much I’d like to !
17 pal Jacky // Jan 25, 2009 at 8:36 pm
At my age I think I’m would have to be one of the captors in ’salo’, not cool. i could go in drag and be the old whore who talks about shitting in men’s mouths to bring them to orgasm, but the captors do enough in drag as it is.
I’m just hoping the Wii remote wins an award since nothing is more fun than playing Shawn White snowboarding with the remote shoved up ones ass.
18 Andre // Jan 25, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Married? That is so gay!
19 jandu // Jan 25, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Don’t you mean Dr. Pron?
20 Daredevil o' Western Avenue // Jan 25, 2009 at 11:29 pm
That joke has real Horse Power!!
a lot of horse power…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKIx4_0KsvA&fmt=18
21 joshpincusiscrying // Jan 26, 2009 at 6:53 am
Congratulations!
Please remember to wash your hands.
A lot.
22 godzthor1 // Jan 26, 2009 at 7:44 am
Please ask Dr. Porn to put out some feelers to see if Larry Craig or Ted Haggard will appear as presenters.
23 haineux // Jan 26, 2009 at 1:24 pm
random, nsfw, will cause cranial infarction: http://tinyurl.com/bxeucl
24 haineux // Jan 26, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Shoot. Forgot to mention that Rick Astley makes a short appearance in that. But it’s not all about the RickRoll, it’s all about the penis.
25 Mavis // Jan 26, 2009 at 1:59 pm
The sex toy awards? You’re hitting the zenith of your career, now it’s all Judy Garland from here.
Pass the pills.
26 pal Jacky // Jan 26, 2009 at 2:34 pm
you people need to open your eyes. ‘paul blart mall cop’ is the number one film two weeks two weeks in a row. The time of the gospel is at hand. I’m not just saying that because I look great in my Rubido, red horseman outfit.
My remake/tribute to the waning days of the bush administration ‘camp david-120 days of sodom’ is now on hold because I know something worse is afoot. Why wasn’t Nostradamous more fucking reliable in times like these?
27 DavidinBerkeley // Jan 26, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Oh, gawd, I just thought of something: What does the award look like?
28 DavidinBerkeley // Jan 26, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Hey, what time will AW be on with Alphabet Boy? His page doesn’t say when.
If I have to listen at home, I’m not sure my Tinkertoy computer can handle it. Do I need Skype or something to listen?
29 DavidinBerkeley // Jan 26, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Holy socks, she’s going to be the HOST? (I thought she was just going to hand out the Jean Herscholt Award or something.)
That means she’s going to be handling those trophies all night long. (They have latex gloves in those cute tissue dispenser boxes, now, don’t they?)
30 Andre // Jan 26, 2009 at 5:44 pm
It’s an honor to be host, but much more fun to be a judge.
31 JohnnyBoy // Jan 26, 2009 at 7:31 pm
Hi, it’s Vince with SlamWow.
You’ll be saying “Wow” every time you use this dildo. It’s like a penis, it’s like a vibrator, it’s like a rolling pin. A regular penis only works wet; this works wet or dry. This is for the vagina, the anus, the nipples
SlamWow holds twenty times it’s weight in liquid. Look at it! It just does the work! Doesn’t’t drip, doesn’t make a mess… wring it out. It’ll do whatever you order. Made in Germany – you know the Germans always follow orders.
You can cut it in half – use one as a dildo, plug drains with the other one, use one as a dog toy.
Olympic divers use it as a buttplug. You following me camera guy?
You’re going to spend twenty dollars a month on cucumbers anyway.
This lasts ten years, my penis lasts ten minutes. I don’t know – it sells itself.
32 Speedy Cerviche // Jan 26, 2009 at 7:41 pm
In before Billy Mays.
33 JohnnyBoy // Jan 26, 2009 at 7:51 pm
On a different note………………..A three-legged dog walks into a saloon, sits down at a stool and yells “Alright! Who shot my paw?”
34 JohnnyBoy // Jan 27, 2009 at 11:26 am
Blowfish Testicles sicken 7 in Japan
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28874327
35 Kandi // Jan 28, 2009 at 5:55 pm
You do remember that my birthday is in Septemeber…. and it’s never too early to shop… summer is the perfect time.
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