April Winchell

25 responses so far ↓

• 1 jandu // Jan 28, 2009 at 10:46 pm

  Looks like Dane Cook is staying busy.

  (Sorry, it was too easy)

• 2 socalfrank // Jan 28, 2009 at 11:41 pm

  His accent is horrible, but I’m impressed that he did it without a voicevover and that Mexican echo.

• 3 bnaivar // Jan 29, 2009 at 5:33 am

  I never knew he was bi

  lingual.

• 4 Scott // Jan 29, 2009 at 8:06 am

  Annoying in two languages, now.

• 5 haineux // Jan 29, 2009 at 12:30 pm

  Turns out “Headset Vince” had his life ruined by Scientology, and is suing them. http://skepchick.org/blog/?p=5490

  At least now I have a reason to be happy when my well-meaning parents send me some.

• 6 clevelandphil // Jan 29, 2009 at 2:26 pm

  i i Ay caramba chingada!!

• 7 clevelandphil // Jan 29, 2009 at 2:27 pm

  FAGADA

• 8 Andre // Jan 29, 2009 at 4:13 pm

  Pendejo!

• 9 JohnnyBoy // Jan 29, 2009 at 6:05 pm

  Vince: Offer is actually my first name. My Dad is Israeli, so that isn’t totally made up.

  (from CNBC Interview)

• 10 pal Jacky // Jan 29, 2009 at 7:07 pm

  I’ve got a little list and he’s number #2. He falls beween the (not so )free credit report singer and chad from altell on the most deserving of assraping in a television commercial. Though he could easily move to number 1 if appears in green tights. I’m not sexist about such things, if the progressive insurance lady keeps it up, she’ll soon take number three. It seems chad is less annoying when he’s in CGI.

• 11 Gunner13 // Jan 29, 2009 at 7:36 pm

  Dear pal Jacky,

  Please remember that these are simply commercials, albeit somewhat annoying ones, and that you are free NOT TO WATCH THEM IF THEY PISS YOU OFF! Relax OK?

  Love and kisses ( metaphorically of course : ) ).

• 12 jandu // Jan 29, 2009 at 8:23 pm

  >:-O

  Get him Jack

• 13 haineux // Jan 29, 2009 at 10:11 pm

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMc9q29IB_4&fmt=18

  Completely family-friendly NWA. No good reason.

• 14 pal Jacky // Jan 30, 2009 at 11:22 am

  Obviously gunner doesn’t realize the magnificence of my worldview. When I see an annoying commercial, I don’t get pissed off. I just imagine that some man enters the scene and anally intrudes the spokesperson with his huge diseased member. This brings a smile to my face. Of course this is not in a sexual way, more in a J.G. Ballard’why I want to fuck ronald reagan’ way. Anyone having trouble objectifying this need only try it for themselves. Take the ‘renaissance faire’ free credit report.com ditty. Next time it is on, think about How much better would life be if the green tights were pulled down around his angles and then oozing blood spattering the tights. See, i bet it perks you right up just to think about it.

• 15 kweeah // Jan 30, 2009 at 2:20 pm

  What if you combined the ShamWow with the Snuggie?! You can keep warm AND spill stuff and n0t worry!

• 16 DavidinBerkeley // Jan 30, 2009 at 6:20 pm

  Mexican television has always baffled me. Por eso razon, no lo miro.

• 17 DavidinBerkeley // Jan 30, 2009 at 6:20 pm

  Perdon. No LA miro.

• 18 Gunner13 // Jan 30, 2009 at 6:57 pm

  Sorry Jacky, but this certainly does NOT perk me up at all and I sure do not nor do I realize the magnificence of your worldview.

  Try using the Mute button, changing channels or just TURN THE DARN THING OFF!

  Wow, do you need a vacation dude!

• 19 jim // Jan 31, 2009 at 11:40 am

  Mmm, Smells Like Infomercial Spirit.

  Just as loathsome, yet in a sexier language!

  Dude still looks like he needs the spray-on-tan vaccine … if there ever is one developed, I mean.

• 20 pal Jacky // Jan 31, 2009 at 2:23 pm

  Of course a simple mind like gunner will never get it. Take this. it is just making lemonade out of lemons. take this exchange.
  ‘progessive insurance girl’: are you a safe driver?
  idiot custermer: yes
  p.i.g.: ding… do you own your own home?
  i.c. Yes
  p.i.g.: Ding.. are you…… ooww.. ooohhhh. no.. are.
  Ron Perlman( naked except for his ‘hellboy’ getup with his his dick up her ass):
  ‘SLUT shut up or bite the towel’

• 21 pal Jacky // Jan 31, 2009 at 2:32 pm

  <>
  I only watch important things on television. suppose I’m waiting for the DNA results on ‘Maury’. He always cuts to a commercial and none of these remedies work. I know what you are thinking, but the mute button just gets me thinking up my own dialogue.

• 22 pal Jacky // Jan 31, 2009 at 3:11 pm

  even the great J.B. Ballard has been misunderstood by the ‘anti-progressives’ . He distrubuted his short story ‘why I want to fuck ronald reagan’ at the 1980 Republican national convention(without the title) and most thought it was a serious ‘pro reagan’ tract. One hopes these people actually didn’t read it before jumping to that conclusion, because nobody could be that stupid. Then again they were all reagan voters.

• 23 Gunner13 // Jan 31, 2009 at 4:40 pm

  You watch Maury Povich regularly and I have a simple mind? Yeah, whatever dude.

• 24 pal Jacky // Jan 31, 2009 at 10:55 pm

  gunner, you really are naive. . I think you need a complete mental rearrangement, a long and arduous process. Often major depression appears when one comes face to face with the fact that they have lived their entire life in a fishbowl of thickheadedness. However, in the short term I suggest you get yourself a copy of Douglas Sirk’s ‘imitation of Life’ and watch it repeatedly until it ceases to confuse you. At that point you should realize that shows like ‘Maury Povitch’ and ‘Jerry Springer’ are needed in the post industrial age we live in. After that i could recommend some readings. Catullus and Gerard manley hopkins at first, anything more at this point and you could wind up a suicide.

• 25 pal Jacky // Feb 1, 2009 at 7:56 pm

  Happy news indeed. For gunner or anyone else who is the victim of the delusion that ‘maury’ is to be taken at face value, I found ‘the wreck of the deutchland’ on line:
  http://www.bartleby.com/122/4.html
  ain’t poetry grand!!

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