April Winchell

32 responses so far ↓

• 1 Doug // Feb 1, 2009 at 7:28 pm

  Stemberries? Is that a California thing, or a Gelsons thing?

• 2 DavidinBerkeley // Feb 1, 2009 at 7:53 pm

  Wow. That’s a lot.

  Did you have them on your cereal or in a smoothie?

• 3 steve // Feb 1, 2009 at 8:07 pm

  apparently, you get stems.

• 4 Ira Shlamazel // Feb 1, 2009 at 8:53 pm

  This just pisses me right the hell off!

  Thank God for Skittles.

• 5 Ira Shlamazel // Feb 1, 2009 at 8:54 pm

  (Is it cheaper than weed?)

• 6 Knavish Rogue // Feb 2, 2009 at 3:25 am

  Do they fuck you in the ass at the check out counter or do they wait to get you in the parking log?

• 7 Knavish Rogue // Feb 2, 2009 at 3:26 am

  excuse me: “parking lot”

• 8 Ira Shlamazel // Feb 2, 2009 at 6:30 am

  I like “parking log” better. It shows where your mind really is…

• 9 Scott // Feb 2, 2009 at 8:04 am

  So you’re telling us that California strawberries are cheaper in Massachusetts, in the middle of Winter, than they are in California? Time to move, Missy.

• 10 Stretch99 // Feb 2, 2009 at 8:31 am

  Like Oxnard is that far from Aprils local Gelsons…
  computer says no.

  Please someone explain pierced nipples to me.

  John seems to be the ultimate sex machine: manscaped legs, pierced nipples – is the “tramp stamp” next?!

• 11 Ira Shlamazel // Feb 2, 2009 at 8:41 am

  Scott, yesterday it was Feb. 1st and it was 80 degrees here in Sunny California.

  What was it in Mass yesterday? 40? I’d rather have to take out a mortgage for strawberries then be where you are!

  Gelson’s is a fancy schmancy market for the Hollywood elite- like April- and it is not uncommon for prices to be a bit ridiculous. A roll of Life Savers cost $27.89 but Meryl Streep is behind you in line with a box of Oreo cookies and a roll of silk toilet paper, so it’s all worth it.

• 12 joshpincusiscrying // Feb 2, 2009 at 8:48 am

  They have Oreos in California?
  Cool!

• 13 Ira Shlamazel // Feb 2, 2009 at 8:54 am

  Yes, we have Oreos. They are just like yours, except ours come in a 24k gold diamond-encrusted box. We dip them in Tibetan Yak milk blessed by the Dali Lama himself.

  And avocados literally fall from the sky!

• 14 Scott // Feb 2, 2009 at 9:07 am

  Ira Shlamazel: Given the winter Massachusetts has had this year I concede.

• 15 JohnnyBoy // Feb 2, 2009 at 10:35 am

  Yummynums !

• 16 Daredevil o' Western Avenue // Feb 2, 2009 at 11:57 am

  Koyaanisqatsi!

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sps6C9u7ras&fmt=18

• 17 joshpincusiscrying // Feb 2, 2009 at 12:28 pm

  @Ira Shlamazel-
  I was in a Food-4-Less in Fullerton.
  I must have missed that aisle.

• 18 pal Jacky // Feb 2, 2009 at 2:07 pm

  Seriously, I’ve been going to ’sprouts’ in south torrance for produce. It is a 20 minute drive but it is worth it. And the prices are pretty reasonable. 1 dollar avocados these week. There are a few others, but I don’t know exactly where.

• 19 pal Jacky // Feb 2, 2009 at 2:15 pm

  to make of for the valid recommendation of the last post I’ll ad this.
  after i visualize chad from altell getting ass-raped by the four dip-shits in the commercial. I like to think the whole verizon mob gets their turn.

• 20 Ira Shlamazel // Feb 2, 2009 at 2:25 pm

  Um. Jacky- that’s kinda hot…

• 21 godzthor1 // Feb 2, 2009 at 3:08 pm

  Strange coincidence: the first day O’Reilly’s of the radio, I hear one of April’s Big Bear ads on KABC (9:20am).

• 22 pal Jacky // Feb 2, 2009 at 4:09 pm

  Ira, how about this:
  the more I think about it. Chad needs to be gang-raped by the mob. In other words, dicks in his mouth, armpits, shoulderblades, knees everywhere all at once. The women using strap-on’s made with banana squash gourds. Once one person is done another takes their place. When it is finally over, a ‘P.C. and “mac’(from the apple commecials)come in to lick up the bloody spoogey mess.

• 23 pal Jacky // Feb 2, 2009 at 4:57 pm

  okay, perhaps I spent a little too much of my formative years reading J.G. Ballard and W.S. burroughs and watching the films of Fassbinder and Pasolini.

• 24 unclemike // Feb 2, 2009 at 7:17 pm

  Salo: 150 Days of Chad-dom

• 25 pal Jacky // Feb 2, 2009 at 10:47 pm

  hey, david cronenberg was one of may faves since his early days of ‘rabid’ and ‘the brood’ in the ninties he made made films of both Ballard’s ‘crash’ and burrough’s ‘naked lunch’. so at least there is a consistantcy. Though ‘crash’ is flawed since he took out the killing of ‘dying screen star’ Liz taylor. It is still worth seeing for holly hunter’s scars and Rosanne arquette’s leg braces.

• 26 Stretch99 // Feb 3, 2009 at 8:33 am

  It was nice to wake up to April this moring.
  30 seconds of April 6:20 this morning on KNBC
  use only as directed

• 27 pal Jacky // Feb 3, 2009 at 10:45 am

  of course, I find the best way to enjoy those commercials are to visualize april taking a strap-on made from a banana squash guoard to the idiot anchor once she gets back in the studio.
  Strech, this is more ‘as needed for pain’ but that is a specific directive.

• 28 Stretch99 // Feb 3, 2009 at 2:02 pm

  “I want to believe this is a joke, but it seems all too real.”

  Sweaty McNuggets – yummmmmmm

  that will be his new nickname

• 29 socalfrank // Feb 4, 2009 at 12:19 am

  Gelsons will be hurting when LA starts to see some Fresh & Easy markets popping up.

• 30 Stretch99 // Feb 4, 2009 at 8:42 am

  The Fresh & Easy at VanOwen and Sepulveda is huge compared to the one at Hollywood and Highland
  Some good bargains and FRESH MEAT

• 31 pal Jacky // Feb 4, 2009 at 11:27 am

  then there’s the old couple in the other phone commerical ( i want to say AT &T) who’ve been married 38 years and have had 11 dogs all named ’steve’. What the fuck are they doing to those poor dogs. Do they have korean day every 3-1/2 years?

• 32 Shannon // Feb 4, 2009 at 4:11 pm

  May I point out that Fresh & Easy is not what they claim to be. Notice the green marketing (green washing) yet they still carry coke and tide.
  They claim to carry local produce but ask them.. just ask them.

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