Wondering whose side to take in the Rhianna vs. Chris Brown affair? Well, wonder no more!
The think tank has weighed in on the Opinion page of the L. A. Times web site, and you’re about to get educated!
Ready?
It’s her fault.
While the majority stop short of condoning physical violence, many seem to think she provoked Brown by:
- Touching his phone
- Taking his keys
- Hitting him first
- Running her mouth
Now to be fair, many of the comments in this thread were critical of Chris Brown’s behavior. But the ones who support this idiot are far more entertaining.
So I’ve gone ahead and selected my favorites, and broken them down into categories for easy reading.
1. SHE DESERVED IT
2. IT’S NOT THAT BAD
2. HE’S JUST A KID
3. WHAT REALLY HAPPENED
4. THE RACE CARD
5. IT’S NOT TRUE BECAUSE I LOVE HIM
6. WHAT?
32 responses so far ↓
1 Elijah M // Feb 16, 2009 at 5:04 pm
As absurd as the Israel/Palestine metaphor is, it’s only a matter of time before a well-paid and slightly more articulate TV news pundit makes the same comparison.
2 John Foley // Feb 16, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Whatever. I’ve heard of so many other artists who killed people. I’m sure if Brad Pitt killed people you wouldn’t care.
JaFoFo said this!!!
3 Gunner13 // Feb 16, 2009 at 5:08 pm
The above is so stunning is its stupidity and incoherency that I don’t know where to start (but, what the heck, I’ll go ahead anyway).
I guess 6. What? is all stream of consciousness, but I sure don’t want to wade into that mess any deeper! I wonder if they even know what that F7 key is all about? Does it not take extra key strokes to mangle English the way la chiquita did? Hey, go eat a banana, it might help your IQ!
Frankly I had never heard of this Chris Brown person before this nasty alleged assault, but he can go to H@ll after this and take his “adoring fans” with him.
4 bnaivar // Feb 16, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Not to worry. He’s getting “counseling” from his Pastor, his Family, and his Friends. You know, professionals. I’m sure it’ll never happen again.
5 clevelandphil // Feb 16, 2009 at 5:18 pm
I’m reading while my brother is watching Ellen, The fucking audience of bitches won’t stop screaming. Screaming for nothing. Beat them up NOW! Chris, OJ, Carole Anne Burger get to work on them!!!
6 pal Jacky // Feb 16, 2009 at 5:28 pm
of rhianna course she deserved it. But then so did that little brat Caylee Anthony.
7 Knavish Rogue // Feb 16, 2009 at 6:40 pm
Well, dammit, da bitch wouldn’t listen and when the bitch don’t listen you gotta smack that bitch up!
8 clevelandphil // Feb 16, 2009 at 8:08 pm
I noticed that Gayle King does not approve of Chris’ apology. As Fred Sanford said, “How would both of you like one across the lips? I got two fists for two pair of lips.”
9 SoCalFKK // Feb 16, 2009 at 8:15 pm
See? Every dime we spend on public education has been worth it.
10 Gina // Feb 16, 2009 at 9:25 pm
GiLoLo in the hizzouse!
The CD halo is particularly inspired.
11 Jersey Mahoney // Feb 16, 2009 at 10:44 pm
It’s spelled “edumacated”
12 Speedy Cerviche // Feb 17, 2009 at 12:03 am
In the Star Trek : Deep Space Nine episode “Babel”, the crew of the station gets infected with a virus which causes them to lose control of the speech-governing areas of their brains. This causes them to spout strings of random, unrelated words in place of whatever they really wanted to say. Hilarity, as always, ensues.
I just had to mention this, as the first comment in the “WHAT?” category gave me a major-ass flashback.
Also, would you believe me if I said I had never even heard of Chris Brown before reading this thread? Yet another feather in my self-indulgent and elitist anti-popularity cap. Soon, I shall become a Buddha.
13 joshpincusiscrying // Feb 17, 2009 at 4:11 am
Once again, this PROVES why Al Gore invented the internet. (or should I say “intermanets”.)
Word!
14 linnefaulk // Feb 17, 2009 at 5:05 am
At least no one mentioned octomom.
15 yelkcub // Feb 17, 2009 at 8:36 am
It’s heartening to see that the original OJ jury is keeping up with current events.
16 pal Jacky // Feb 17, 2009 at 12:22 pm
On a side note, I’ve been thinking about giving up on my subscription to the L.A. times for a while now(who hasn’t?) At least now I know that it’s website is filled with high quality opinions and prose.
Of course, it kind of takes all the fun out of the ‘blame the victim’ jokes I love to make. These people to it so much better and have so much integrity.
17 Ira Shlamazel // Feb 17, 2009 at 2:52 pm
I am in utter moral turmoil! Violence against women is unacceptable!
On the other hand “Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)”.
I must admit, I do kinda want to punch her, too.
Thanks April! Once again you’ve sent me to that dark place…
so vey cold…
18 Ira Shlamazel // Feb 17, 2009 at 2:53 pm
very, very cold.
19 JohnnyBoy // Feb 17, 2009 at 5:35 pm
“no one mentioned octomom” Obama is not a octomom, that is one-eighth something
he is a mulatte’ from which the coffee name is devised
20 Ira Shlamazel // Feb 17, 2009 at 8:20 pm
JohnnyBoy:
“he is a mulatte’ from which the coffee name is devised”
You are joking, right?
First, the word is “Mulatto” (unless speaking German)
and the word “Latte” has nothing to do with it. “Latte” means “coffee with milk”.
“Mulatto” means one with one white and one black parent, and is considered racist.
Sorry, JohnnyBoy, your joke (?) fizzeled.
21 Andre // Feb 17, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Man! This prooves wat we all kno WE April comantators are way more smarterer than the the dum commontaters over at the times were fukin roads scolars!
22 Speedy Cerviche // Feb 17, 2009 at 11:31 pm
Jesus, Andre! Your comment is just riddled with spelling and grammatical errors! Maybe you should learn some basic English before boasting about how smart you are, hmmmm? Besides, everyone knows you’re supposed to capitalize the “Roads” In “Roads scolars”.
Sorry, Andre, your comment (?) fizzeled.
23 Speedy Cerviche // Feb 17, 2009 at 11:33 pm
Oh, and JB: the term you were looking for was “Octoroon”, which means “one-eighth Andy Rooney”.
24 Gunner13 // Feb 18, 2009 at 1:39 pm
No, he meant Octomoron – 1 part human and 7 parts moron.
I checked the LA Times webpage April distilled this from and some of the stuff there was worse! There’s just no accounting for taste, or intelligence, it seems.
pal Jacky, dump your subscription by all means (unless you have a parakeet or other bird). I dropped it years ago and have felt much better ever since.
25 Stretch99 // Feb 18, 2009 at 2:48 pm
On the bright side Chris and Rhianna (a-a-a-a) are recording a duet version of BEAT IT
26 JohnnyBoy // Feb 18, 2009 at 8:21 pm
The term “Starbucks” is considered racist
27 Gunner13 // Feb 18, 2009 at 9:43 pm
Racist? How?
Elitist I can understand, but racist???
28 chrisbcritter // Feb 19, 2009 at 6:03 pm
I didn’t see the the Times page – did Category 1 have any postings signed “ImDrLauraS”?
29 ScottP // Feb 21, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Maybe reading these defenses of Chris Brown would give Steadman Graham the nerve he needs…
(yes just kidding)
A mixed-race descendant of Paul McCartney might be a Maccaroon, right?
30 JohnnyBoy // Feb 22, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Male slaves were called “bucks”
If you call black celebrities “starbucks”, then that’s bad
31 Gunner13 // Feb 25, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Really? Thanks, I had no idea.
I will now forget that association as it interferes with my coffee habit (besides, the people that work there are just trying to make a living).
32 singlewideslim // Feb 26, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Whut dew ya tell a bitch wif 2 blak eyes? Nuthin, ya dun told er twice. Seriousley though, I don’t think this would even be news worthy if it had happened in Alabama, as I’m not sure it would even be illegal there.