April Winchell

28 responses so far ↓

• 1 coasterboy // Feb 26, 2009 at 5:19 pm

  Ok…..I’m ashamed to think that I remember seeing a chimp doing that same thing at the end….

• 2 coasterboy // Feb 26, 2009 at 5:29 pm

  I’m NOT a racist! I’m not! I’m not!

• 3 Ira Shlamazel // Feb 26, 2009 at 5:34 pm

  I remember this guy taking all the Winchell’s donuts at the March for April, oh so long ago!

  He sure gives Dizzy Gillespie a run for his money!

  http://tinyurl.com/y85vqh

• 4 Ira Shlamazel // Feb 26, 2009 at 5:38 pm

  coasterboy: It isn’t a race thing- it’s a cheeky thing.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlkBUts9ugM

  There. Feel better now?

• 5 Speedy Cerviche // Feb 26, 2009 at 6:12 pm

  Let me tell you about Necco wafers real quick.

  Hot damn, Necco wafers are delicious. I haven’t had them since I was a wee lad, but I picked a roll up on a whim as I carted my bottles of Glenlivet and Grand Marnier to the Rite-Aid checkout earlier today. As soon as I returned home I ripped open the wax paper roll and began my childhood sorting procedure. After carefully discarding all lemon and lime flavored wafers, I stacked the remaining flavors in order of excellence: First the purple cloves, then the black licorice, followed by the white cinnamon, the orange, the Pepto-Bismol flavored ones, and finally those weird faux-chocolate ones. I then proceeded to ingest the wafers by alternating between random stacks. I was careful, however, to save two of the Pepto-flavored wafers for later tonight, as I remember that they make sparks when snapped in half in a dark room. I am anxious to reconduct this childhood experiment, only now with the keen eye and balanced hands of an adult. But I digress. The wafers themselves were crisp and fresh, packing the same intense flavor that I relished in my youth. The strong herbal notes of the clove and licorice were particularly appreciated. Strangely enough, the cinnamon seemed weak and washed out compared to the other flavors, a situation that could be easily remedied in the future with a bag of Atomic Fireballs.

  As for the video, I believe that gentleman may be suffering from Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. I used to have a friend in high school who had it, and he could do similar things (though not to the extent shown in the video). He was also double-jointed, and used to make my girlfriend dryheave by popping all of his fingers out of joint and then touching her. He was a good man.

  Oh, and he liked Necco wafers! Full circle!

• 6 Speedy Cerviche // Feb 26, 2009 at 6:13 pm

  And may I say, the racist comments in the YouTube comment section are as breathtaking and majestic as Victoria Falls.

• 7 goshea // Feb 26, 2009 at 6:45 pm

  What is a cerviche?

• 8 DavidinBerkeley // Feb 26, 2009 at 7:49 pm

  Re: the video

  Maybe AW is bored with doing comedy because she hasn’t taken it to THIS level yet.

• 9 Doug // Feb 26, 2009 at 8:35 pm

  Speedy, they sell Scotch at your pharmacy? Man, you must be livin’ right.

• 10 Speedy Cerviche // Feb 27, 2009 at 5:32 am

  Damn straight, Dougie. Hell, I don’t even bother with filling prescriptions anymore. Dr. Singlemalt is ALL I NEED, DAMMIT.

  goshea: Cerviche is, among other things, a proper name. Next time I would appreciate it if you could capitalize it. As for the full origin of the name, I suggest you get thyself upon the Google, and learn about the first post-modern American comedy cartoon to come out of the ’90s.

• 11 Ira Shlamazel // Feb 27, 2009 at 9:09 am

  Really? I thought it was just “Speedy Service” with a mouth full of Necco Wafers.

  Learn something new everyday.

• 12 joshpincusiscrying // Feb 27, 2009 at 11:07 am

  If only I could pull my bottom lip up and over the top of my head…
  oh, to dream…

• 13 singlewideslim // Feb 27, 2009 at 12:55 pm

  A co worker showed me a video of a guy doing something similiar with his rectum. Disturbing, yet strangely captivateing… a bit like watching a snake swallow a light bulb.

• 14 singlewideslim // Feb 27, 2009 at 12:56 pm

  rectum? damn near killed ‘em!

• 15 Speedy Cerviche // Feb 27, 2009 at 3:35 pm

  You work with some pretty fuckin’ awesome people.

• 16 Osafp // Feb 27, 2009 at 4:46 pm

  while watching that, for some reason, i thought of the Octo-Mom.

• 17 pal Jacky // Feb 27, 2009 at 6:56 pm

  c’mon speedy the chocolate necco’s are the best. In fact, You can buy a whole roll of just chocolate. The corner liquor stores sells them. You also forgot to mention they are a fat free candy!!! I’m going out to buy some right now.

• 18 pal Jacky // Feb 27, 2009 at 7:40 pm

  4 rolls. Two just chocolate. I opened my first assorted roll only to discover that they were all broken in wedges like some idiot had dropped them and put them back on the shelf. the second roll was fin.

• 19 Speedy Cerviche // Feb 28, 2009 at 8:26 am

  Sorry, Jacky. I’m a bit of a chocolate snob. Anything which is “chocolate-flavored”, while not actually being chocolate, is an affront unto me. This includes Tootsie Rolls, those ghastly chocolate Skittles, and the cheaper versions of the chocolate Jew-coins. The lowest I will go is Hershey’s, and believe me, that’s low.

  Those chocolate Neccos are just meh. They’re not as vile as the flavorless lemon and lime wafers, but they still should be avoided. Chocolate should be rich and buttery. It should be smooth and creamy. It should melt in your mouth. It should NOT resemble a communion wafer.

• 20 Andre // Feb 28, 2009 at 2:33 pm

  If communion wafers came in chocolate, I might never have stopped going to church.

• 21 jandu // Feb 28, 2009 at 4:54 pm

  so THAT’S what happened to Bernie Mac……..huh

• 22 pal Jacky // Feb 28, 2009 at 7:18 pm

  There’s chocolate skittles?!! My letter writing campaign has payed off.
  Actually, I went through a low fat, high protein faze and in order to eat chocolate I lived on tootsie rolls and chocolate neccos. Now it seems to be mostly Linder bars and I’m moving to dark chocolate (70% or higher)be fooling myself into believing that I eat more anti-oxidents than anyone else I know.

• 23 Speedy Cerviche // Feb 28, 2009 at 8:11 pm

  Two questions:

  1. How is it that April knows Captain Sullenberger well enough to use affectionate nicknames? And…

  2. How the hell did he manage to land that plane if he has paws?

  I won’t even comment on the pretzel smell thing. What the captain and April do behind closed doors is no business of mine.

• 24 JohnnyBoy // Mar 1, 2009 at 8:01 am

  That’s the one who landed the plane on Jennifer Hudson

• 25 Ira Shlamazel // Mar 1, 2009 at 8:27 am

  jandu: “so THAT’S what happened to Bernie Mac……..huh”

  Huh? He looks nothing like the late, great Bernie Mac.

• 26 clevelandphil // Mar 1, 2009 at 1:14 pm

  This is Paul Harvey. Stand by for………..

  And that’s the rest of the story.

  More fossil fuel for us all.

• 27 jandu // Mar 1, 2009 at 9:31 pm

  Ira, everyone knows Bernie Mac died while choking on a sandwich. HELLO?

• 28 singlewideslim // Mar 2, 2009 at 7:56 am

  Like Mama Cass? If sandwitches got Cass Elliot AND Bernie Mac, what chance do the rest of us have? I’m going to call in sick today so I can clean out my fridge…

You must log in to post a comment.