By now you know I was on Martha Stewart’s show yesterday, as part of what must have been a very unpleasant prank for her, but an absolute blast for me.
The audience was filled with women named “April” for April Fool’s Day. The producers planted me in the crowd to craft with Martha, and to derail the segment as best I could.
I basically just tried to be the worst possible person to pull up on stage to do a segment like this; uncoordinated, no artistic ability and a little too big of a fan. I’m not sure if I fooled her or if she just rolled with it, but the end result was pretty funny, I thought.
Of course, not everybody got the joke. Apparently some of Matha’s fans on Twitter were less than happy with the moron doing the craft segment yesterday:
I knew I’d be bringing shame to myself, and to my family. But shaming people all over the world? Who knew I had that kind of reach! if I was able to persuade just one person to stop making macrame plant hangers, it will have all been worth it.
By the way, the picture I took of Martha with my phone during the segment
is here.
Update: Several people have written to ask if that was indeed my own cookbook. Yes, it most certainly is, and I really do love it.
43 responses so far ↓
1 haineux // Apr 2, 2009 at 3:16 pm
This is just amazingly delightful. It’s like you’re Andy Kaufman.
2 haineux // Apr 2, 2009 at 3:21 pm
APRIL Kaufman.
sheesh.
You’ve even got your own REM song:
April are you goofin’ on Martha
“Hey Baby, Are we losing touch?”
3 joshpincusiscrying // Apr 2, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Way to fuck with Martha, April! This is hysterical!
4 phoebefigalilly // Apr 2, 2009 at 3:35 pm
I am so glad you posted this so we could see it, this was a great goof!
5 MyMonoclePoppedOut // Apr 2, 2009 at 3:36 pm
How weird, Andy Kaufman popped into my mind, as well. I don’t know how you could possibly be shaming “crafters”; I don’t think glueing stuff to cardboard is all that hard.
6 Kandi // Apr 2, 2009 at 3:51 pm
I would’ve killed you if I were her.
The Howard Johnson’s thing killed me though.
And you look like a gorgeous yummy banana
7 April // Apr 2, 2009 at 3:57 pm
They gave everyone yellow rain slickers from Lands End (“April Showers”). I was annoyed at first since I bought an outfit to wear on the show. Then I realized I could take it back! I went to Bloomingdales this morning and got a refund.
8 marcgermain // Apr 2, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Martha Stewart should have you on every day. She didn’t even pick up on half of the snarky comments but I’ll bet the staff loved you for saying what they never could.
9 katzinoire // Apr 2, 2009 at 4:27 pm
I was waiting for you to mention her man hands-but the “prettier in person” remark worked well. She looked so mad, I was wondering what fate faced Lenora afterward!
As always April, great job!
10 bnaivar // Apr 2, 2009 at 4:28 pm
When Martha realized that she had screwed up her own name after correcting yours, I almost fell out of my chair.
11 ListenerJustin // Apr 2, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Oh lord, my stomach hurts from laughing. That must have been so cathartic to be able to screw with her show while standing right next to her.
12 Kandi // Apr 2, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Yeah I don’t know whose idea it was for the April Showers banana coats, but I would’ve rather seen your new outfit. Very few people look good in yellow (might I add, I am one of those lucky ones who looks amazing in anything, including yellow); most people just look like pacman.
13 Speedy Cerviche // Apr 2, 2009 at 4:53 pm
That’s quite the coincidence. Back when I used to play SSBM tourneys with a my stoner buddies, we had a special custom game mode we called “Marth Madness”. I usually dominated, seeing as how Marth was one of my favorite characters. No one can say me nay when I hold the Sword of Seals in my hand. pal Jacky, you have anything to say?
As for the segment, it was hilarious as is to be expected, but it might have been a tad funnier if Dame Stewart actually had a sense of humor. Why the hell can’t that woman just take a step back and laugh at herself? And as you might imagine, I was quite disappointed when no appropriate Godzilla cracks were made after Martha referred to herself as “Mothra” several times.
And April: Was that really your cookbook, or was it some kind of prop the producers provided for you? If it was legit, then bonus points. That baby did look rather well-used.
14 jasmith31 // Apr 2, 2009 at 4:54 pm
This was FUCKING classic TV!! I thought Mothra wanted to stomp your head into the ground!!!
And your hair was ON POINT!!!!
15 Speedy Cerviche // Apr 2, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Ooh, and I just went to mominthehood’s twitter page. There is nothing about that woman that I don’t despise.
16 DavidinBerkeley // Apr 2, 2009 at 4:58 pm
I still haven’t seen the segment (I will tonight), so I must say:
In that first picture, it looks like AW is holding a cocktail.
17 Scott // Apr 2, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Cheese off Martha on her own show, live. My hero!
18 DavidinBerkeley // Apr 2, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Oh, she was a ringer!
I was beginning to wonder what AW and Mothra Stewart could have enough in common that AW could be a guest.
(thanks JASmith for the new name for MS!)
19 DavidinBerkeley // Apr 2, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Did AW get to keep the card?
20 Stretch99 // Apr 2, 2009 at 9:20 pm
(Martha to April) “I think you’re a PLANT”
yes Martha: a philodendren
21 jaxworlds // Apr 2, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Oh yeah , by the way… that bubble gum did look really phallic..was that intended?
22 Ira Shlamazel // Apr 2, 2009 at 10:35 pm
At least Michelle actually TOUCHED the Queen….
Where’s that shaker?
23 socalfrank // Apr 2, 2009 at 10:52 pm
I was hoping at the end of the show Martha would have thanked April Winchell in addition to the list of her guests.
24 adorisday // Apr 2, 2009 at 11:24 pm
That really was performance art, or craft. Too bad the craftladies didn’t get the joke. Looks like Martha “got it” by the time she signed April’s cookbook. April is a perfect foil for Martha’s obsessive Betty Crockerism… they should have April on again, as herself, for the comic friction. A really good show would be April and her mother and Martha and her mother… (That’s the only MS show i ever really watched, it was fascinating to see where MS got it from: her mom.)
25 linnefaulk // Apr 3, 2009 at 3:50 am
You were beautiful April! I love that Martha was trying to keep her control. I hope she laughed a little when she finally got the joke.
26 The joke is on crafters » South DaCola // Apr 3, 2009 at 7:28 am
[...] Angry owl [...]
27 davidhazard71 // Apr 3, 2009 at 9:08 am
That was simply wonderful.
28 esmetutu // Apr 3, 2009 at 10:42 am
My hero! I’ve always really admired and related to your comedy work (I fondly remember you pretending to be Melinda Lee to her own callers after her show was over and yours began). Hell, my best ‘vapid girl’ impersonation is a direct copy of your Paris Hilton, or back in the day, Tori Spelling. But this takes the cake! I LOVE Martha like loving foie gras or High School Musical or something. It’s just so wrong to, right? Martha *is* like a pyramid. Who built her? Aliens? She’s an amazing mystery. What a great opportunity, and you were fantastic. I am eternally jealous!
29 Dave // Apr 3, 2009 at 10:44 am
Pure Gold!… and I really like it when you and Martha do the best hug after all the fun!
30 Jennifer R // Apr 3, 2009 at 11:45 am
I think Martha was being as funny as she can possibly manage to be.
I do have to admire that she figured out April was a plant (and said so) a minute-30 into the conversation. And rolled with it. And at least seemed to be attempting to crack jokes (again, as much as she can manage).
31 pal Jacky // Apr 3, 2009 at 7:27 pm
I was thinking andy kaufmann too. But I think that everytime I watch KTLA news.
One of kaufmann’s best friends was pretentious performance artist and Lou reed lover laurie anderson. She used to be one of the women he would wrestle.
Speaking of KTLA news they replaced Jerry Springer with it at 1:00pm. It was the final straw and I really was going to run amok and start shooting today. But that fuckface in new york beat me to it. Am I really that selfish that I want a newsday all to myself?
32 Doug // Apr 3, 2009 at 8:36 pm
You know what they say…happiness is a warm gun!
33 Doug // Apr 3, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Damn, Jacky…I’ve love to wrestle Laurie Anderson. Especially if I lost.
34 monkey316 // Apr 3, 2009 at 11:10 pm
my mom finally got to see you in action! I’ve been telling you about her for YEARS! I loved that you put in the comment about her “leaving out a step.” I’ve always belived that! BITCH! Oh, I’m sorry….was that out loud??
DAMN! You’re too funny for most people! (and Martha Stewart, obviously!)
35 Mick Stupp // Apr 4, 2009 at 12:59 am
Frigging hilarious.
36 beahaven // Apr 4, 2009 at 9:07 am
Very funny. By the way, you should spend Easter with Auntie Vera Charles. Then us lovies can hear all about it.
37 andymelton // Apr 4, 2009 at 9:27 am
Oh that was hysterical! @AuntieVera sent me here to watch the clip. Glad I did, it was great. You should spend Easter with @AuntieVera so that we can hear all about it!
38 pal Jacky // Apr 4, 2009 at 12:39 pm
http://www.amazon.com/Stories-Nerve-Bible-Twenty-Year-Retrospective/dp/0060950501
anderson has a story about Kaufmann in this book. (also on an album of readings, i want to say ‘the ugly one with the jewels’ ) she talks a bout going Coney island with him before he was famous and he would overreact on the rides just to fuck with the other patrons and the operator.
39 adorisday // Apr 4, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Laurie Anderson, what an obnoxious name from the past. Sat through one of her “concerts” or “pieces” or POSshows years ago. Screeching is about all I recall. I didn’t know she schtupped the Reed.
Anyway, Martha is no prude, despite her domestic skills:
http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2006/12/shock_talk.html
40 pal Jacky // Apr 5, 2009 at 1:45 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEmM-0QIgsM&feature=related
Not only lovers but art phoney performance partners.
I you though ‘nip/tuck’ was horrid
41 mjmh66 // Apr 6, 2009 at 6:49 am
That was quite funny, the gum was priceless, and you could tell the audience didn’t know how to react to that! I think a great way to follow up would be to spend Easter with Auntie Vera, that would be just as fun!
42 ShannonS // Apr 6, 2009 at 5:44 pm
I wanna spend Easter with Auntie Vera! I bet she serves kosher food.
43 Anon E. Mousse // Apr 10, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Nice appearance Ape – pause the video at the 1:31 mark = your discarded gum looks like a erect cock and balls!