As you know, I’m in whore mode until July 10. We’re trying to raise as much as we can, both for our house and for Project Angel Food.
It’s going pretty well. You can see on the tally that we’re raised almost half of our goal through eBay auctions, blogads, premium downloads and out and out begging.
But I’ve got a long way to go here, and I’m starting to run out of shit to sell.
Well, no, I mean I’m running out of good stuff. I’ve got plenty of shit left. In fact, I’ve got sacks of it!
Can you see where this is going?
Right now, for a limited time, you can get a Sack o’ Crap™ delivered to your door!
What’s in a a sack, you ask? Well, like all turds, the contents vary. But a typical sack might contain DVDs, books, toys, memorabilia, photos, magnets, souvenirs, snacks and whatever the hell else I have lying around here. Hows that for butt clenching excitement?
The sack come in three sizes; Dainty, Modest and Fucking Huge. And each sack is guaranteed to contain twice the shit you paid for!
• A Dainty $20 sack contains at least $40 worth of shit SOLD OUT
• A Moderate $30 sack is packed with at least $60 worth of shit
• A Fucking Huge $50 sack is crammed with at least $100 worth of shit
How’s that for value? And if you feel like you just didn’t get enough shit, I’ll personally send you another pile of shit, on the house.
Yes, in a world where everyone is trying to give you less, I’m committed to shoving as much shit in a sack as I possibly can. Because I’m that kind of person. And I’m full of shit.
4 responses so far ↓
1 TalkinHorse // Jun 8, 2009 at 1:54 am
I wonder whether people would pay for a personalized mp3 file containing an outgoing answering machine message spoken by Clarabelle Cow or one of her brethren?
2 Carol Hiller // Jun 8, 2009 at 2:07 am
Is that why John shaved his head – are the clippings for sale?
3 Stretch99 // Jun 8, 2009 at 8:20 am
We are all going “Ben Bailey” style
First I did the shaved head
Then John and now
Stephen Colbert!!
BUZZED IS THE WORD!!
4 pal Jacky // Jun 8, 2009 at 2:01 pm
I started exercising again. For that I bought some cheap hanes tighty whiteys and found they are unwearable (7 pairs for 9bucks). It is like a pair of calvin klein if CK’s were made out of sandpaper and cut for a guy who has never gone through puberty.
I could donate them to you april if you want to sell them to the weirdos and perverts who lurk on this site. I’lkl stain them first of course. Heck, I might even buy back a pair myself.
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