Today’s archived show is from April 22, 2001.
This is in fact, the last of the April and Her Best Friend Roy Shows. I thought this one was lost to the ages, but longtime ex-listener Craig has located it, edited it and made it available for your listening pleasure.
We love Craig.
This show is noteworthy for the first and only Ask Reverend Roy segment in the second hour. Yes, Roy actually became an ordained minister for 5 minutes of comedy. That should be proof right there that god does not, in fact, hate fags. Well, he does, but just the ones who call each other “Mary”.
Click here for the April 22, 2001 show
In other news, if anyone in the Sherman Oaks area saw a brown cloud over the post office today, it was me, sending out the first of the Sacks O’ Crap™! Turds were flung as far east as Japan and as far north as Canada, effectively stinking up the world with my flotsam.
You fortunate people. You early adopters of my Sack. You know what I call you prescient shit seekers? I call you “lucky fucks”. Yes I do. Under my breath of course, but still.
So many good things went out today; Jerry Lewis CDs, Sad Wiener Chewing Gum, peel and stick parasites, vintage porn, tin soldiers, DVDs, charm bracelets, books, gourmet coffee, movie theatre tickets, gift cards, free KFC coupons . . . why I felt a little like Oprah, but with smaller arms.
Tomorrow I’ll assemble the next wave. There are a lot more orders than I anticipated, which just makes me giddy. I wake up in the morning and sew all day. It’s like I’m Amish, if Amish people had Tivo.
Sadly, the DAINTY size is sold out. However, I can make you a drawstring bag with the custom turd applique in any size for just $25.00, including shipping (US only).
And there’s more!
Now you can CUSTOMIZE your sack! when you order, you can make special requests on the order form, specify whether it’s for a male or female and you can elect to get an XXX sack, full of horrible, offensive pornography! Yay, commerce!
Anyway, if you’d like a Sack O’ Crap™, this is the time to order. I can’t keep this up much longer without getting some Malaysian children in here.
6 responses so far ↓
1 DavidinBerkeley // Jun 10, 2009 at 10:48 am
I’m imagining AW at a treadle sewing machine, reading glasses perched on the end of her nose.
2 Ira Shlamazel // Jun 10, 2009 at 11:34 am
What is she wearing?
3 Andre // Jun 10, 2009 at 5:58 pm
Didn’t you read the comment, Ira? She’s wearing reading glasses.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=999ph8iRT4o
4 TalkinHorse // Jun 11, 2009 at 12:37 am
I’m not sure how much confidence I would place in April’s taste in pornography.
5 Stretch99 // Jun 11, 2009 at 12:36 pm
…you never know – there may BE a horse in April’s bag o’ porn: LITERALLY, Figuatively (OH DADDY!) or even a talkinHorse
6 klabenz // Jun 11, 2009 at 12:55 pm
My sack arrived in the mail today. All I can say is, “OBAMA”! April, you never disappoint!
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