I went through a period where I couldn’t get enough court shows.
Judge Mathis, Judge Joe Brown, Judge Mills Lane, Judge Hatchett, Judge Wapner, Judge Mablean, Judge Alex . . . I watched anything in a robe. I would have even watched Judge Reinhold if he had a show. And that’s saying something.
But eventually, I got tired of it all. The hoaky catch phrases, the forced attempts at being a hard ass, the lapsing into Spanish every ten seconds and talking about notarized tongues and paying for the hot chocolate. It just got old.
Well most of it, anyway. There was one judge who always kept me interested. Judge Judy.
“Interested” is maybe too casual of a word. I love this show like a fat girl loves Twilight. Nothing makes me happier than being out of town for a few days so I can come home to a Tivo full of Judy. I don’t even care that I’ve seen the episodes over and over again; the eBay scammer, the idiot lady who told her 6 year old that her father might be someone else, the woman who sued the cop for giving her a ticket, the woman whose hair fell out after the bad perm, I know them by heart at this point and I could still see them again.
People ask me what it is about her that I like so much, and all I can really say is that I enjoy watching stupid people get punished. There’s just something so satisfying about watching someone with intelligence and authority put the smack down on some idiot who’s really asking for it.
In any case, the unimaginable happened yesterday: I actually got to meet her. Through the tireless efforts of my thoroughly amazing friend Gina, I was able to walk into the studio as thought I had a right to be there. I even got a drive on pass!
I wasn’t expecting a whole lot, to be honest. I thought I might get to watch a case or two and possibly get an autograph, but I actually wound up spending several hours with the judge in her dressing room, talking about politics, mothers, movies, shopping and Gin Rummy. And after seeing my engagement ring and asking if we set a date, she even gave me some advice about pre-nups.
If that wasn’t enough glamor, I was invited to sit in the front row of the audience for two cases, which means you’ll actually be able to see my pale and sweating face when they air that episode in September. Hot damn, it’s like Make A Wish for a middle aged woman in relatively good health.
And to put the icing on the torte*, I even had lunch with her honor. I was invited into the dining room and I had salad, green beans and chicken. They had corn on the cob and ribs too, but I didn’t trust my hand-eye coordination for that one. Plus I thought I’d get food in my teeth and look like an even bigger starstruck hillbilly.
Now, I don’t want to say too much more, because Judge Judy was very candid and relaxed with me. And I thought that was gracious, considering I am nobody and likely to remain that way. So I don’t want to be rude by spilling everything all over my blog.
But I will tell you that she wears a tank top and jeans under her robe, and she’s built like a brick courthouse.
*Law comedy
