I went out and got my mail a little while ago.
There wasn’t much to speak of, with the exception of a long blue envelope; the kind of heavy, expensive paper that tells you something good is inside.
I opened it up and was stunned to discover a $100 gift certificate for laser hair removal from Mercedes Benz of Encino.
I can’t possibly explain this one. I don’t own a Mercedes Benz, nor have I ever done any business with that dealership. And I’m not even particularly hairy. So unless this is part of some kind of Cash for Cooters program, I’m at a loss.
Are they trying to make friends? Because this is really not the way to do it. They might as well send me a month of free Weight Watcher meetings or a case of deodorant.
To be fair, the $100 can be used on a variety of services, all of which involve a laser being shot at some sensitive area. But curiously, the Botox option is furiously scribbled out with a Sharpie.
Which leads me to conclude that it’s all right to look worried when you drive a Mercedes, as long as you have more than one eyebrow.
15 responses so far ↓
1 PeekaBooRevue // Sep 5, 2009 at 7:17 am
nice rock
2 Scott // Sep 5, 2009 at 7:41 am
She said “cooters!”
3 Auntie Vera Charles // Sep 5, 2009 at 9:04 am
I got a ‘get two rooms of carpet cleaned for the price of one’ coupon once.
4 Ira Shlamazel // Sep 5, 2009 at 3:35 pm
I’d be concerned just a smidgen that they even had my address. Did any neighbors get one? Creepy.
I’d call the place to see if it’s valid, or are you being set up for embarrassed!
5 Ira Shlamazel // Sep 5, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Auntie Vera, do the carpets match the drapes?
I smell clean carpet.
6 Auntie Vera Charles // Sep 5, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Ira lovie…. I have no drapes.
7 Ira Shlamazel // Sep 5, 2009 at 7:19 pm
I thought it was awfully bright…
8 Nusa // Sep 5, 2009 at 9:08 pm
Gee, and all I got was a certificate for a free oil change from Ford. How do I get the laser goodies?
9 bnaivar // Sep 6, 2009 at 5:34 am
It’s the new “Cash for Cooters” program.
10 jj // Sep 6, 2009 at 10:56 am
Rats…All I get are Raffalo’s Pizza menus with $2 off coupons…I use them immediately, but I could stand a little more variety.
11 pal Jacky // Sep 6, 2009 at 7:04 pm
I just get coupons from alladin bail bonds and never anything I could use like a get out of jail free card.
12 pal Jacky // Sep 7, 2009 at 12:58 am
Bob Zany just did a set on the jerry lewis telethon. It was the most painful stand up act I’ve seen since I saw Sammy Shore open for Rossanne.
Some very good violinst, kind of looked like joshua bell has gained weight’ did this wierd fantasia on ‘elinore rigby’
with his piano player singing dreadfully along.
I got out of bed, turned back on my computer to report these things. If you do watch it, beware of the Loew’s and albertsons promotions, you can stick through them Until the end.
Sammy shore was on a bill with 6 or so, so he really wasn’t opening for rossanne. Let us just say compared to him his son Pauly is a comic genius.
13 pal Jacky // Sep 7, 2009 at 1:39 am
BANJO PLAYERS
Twenty minutes of two and Jerry’s got banjo players.
Forget sleeping, I’m putting on a pot of coffee and gonna watch this shit all night.
14 pal Jacky // Sep 7, 2009 at 10:29 am
menudo, jump ropers, terrible balloon magicians, a hearing impaired chinese dance troop and Tony Orlando
How much entertainment can one person be allowed. to watch?They replay the best ones over and over.
15 Stretch99 // Sep 8, 2009 at 2:05 pm
The “cash for cooters ” was only for seriously polluting cooters…
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