April Winchell

77 responses so far ↓

• 1 pal Jacky // Nov 7, 2009 at 12:25 pm

  I knew hyperlinking pus videos would bring her back.

• 2 DavidinBerkeley // Nov 7, 2009 at 2:20 pm

  I’m not seeing a link to a swimsuit calendar.

• 3 Ira Shlamazel // Nov 8, 2009 at 10:20 am

  Oh thank god!

  They were going to kill piggy!

• 4 Bitsey // Nov 8, 2009 at 4:30 pm

  April, you’re just like the stores: putting out the Christmas crap before Thanksgiving this year.

• 5 pal Jacky // Nov 8, 2009 at 8:25 pm

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyEKd_S-b6g

  You asked for it. You think her boyfriend videotaping will ever ask for another blow job?

• 6 ListenerJustin // Nov 9, 2009 at 11:41 am

  Alright! The annual holiday music posting! I can feel the Christmas spirit frothing up inside!

• 7 Ira Shlamazel // Nov 9, 2009 at 12:35 pm

  Just because you can, Jacky, doesn’t mean you should.

• 8 Ira Shlamazel // Nov 9, 2009 at 12:45 pm

  Jacky, I’m curious- do you think the videos themselves are arousing, or is it the act of linking to them that amuses you?

  Is it the little boy sticking a frog in a girl’s face to make her scream?

  Or do you wish you had pustules of your own to play with?

• 9 buttonman // Nov 10, 2009 at 8:17 am

  12 days of christmas crazy drunk lady sounds like Pat Carol. but it’s sort of too late to ask her now. poor pat.

• 10 DavidinBerkeley // Nov 10, 2009 at 11:25 am

  ListenerJustin: Are you sure that’s just not Santorum?

• 11 pal Jacky // Nov 10, 2009 at 3:06 pm

  Ira,
  I am completely offended by those accusations.
  And on a related note. Sleeping with raw bacon on one’s face will not cause acne. I guess it just an old wives tale after all.

• 12 peppermintgirl // Nov 10, 2009 at 7:40 pm

  just to provide a bit of info, the song Homo Christmas is by a band called Pansy Division.

• 13 Stretch99 // Nov 11, 2009 at 1:51 pm

  Sleeping with meat on my face – YUP
  been there…

• 14 DavidinBerkeley // Nov 11, 2009 at 6:37 pm

  AW must be making a lot of money if she’s been away this long.

• 15 Mr Pete // Nov 11, 2009 at 7:39 pm

  Uhh, Buttonman: Pat Carroll is alive… unless you know something I don’t.

• 16 pal Jacky // Nov 11, 2009 at 8:40 pm

  I was thinking maybe he uses it to get blowjobs. C’mon you have had worse in your mouth.
  Cum vs. Pus now that is a great topic for a thread.

• 17 bnaivar // Nov 12, 2009 at 6:18 am

  I think it’s because April OWES a lot of money is why she’s been gone so long. (I owe, I owe, so off to work I go…)

• 18 Ira Shlamazel // Nov 12, 2009 at 8:16 am

  Santorum? Do you mean the frothy mix of semen and fecal matter, or the former congressman for whom it was named?

• 19 chrisbcritter // Nov 12, 2009 at 11:19 am

  No, not Pat Carroll – that’s the fabulous (she says so herself) Fay McKay!

• 20 DavidinBerkeley // Nov 12, 2009 at 12:09 pm

  Ira: Yes.

• 21 DavidinBerkeley // Nov 12, 2009 at 12:10 pm

  Maybe she’s making a business plan for her line of plush toys.

• 22 Stretch99 // Nov 12, 2009 at 1:07 pm

  How much grass could a homo mow if a homo would mow grass….

  makes ya think huh?!

• 23 DavidinBerkeley // Nov 12, 2009 at 6:15 pm

  Oh, Stretch, how much paid worktime did you use to think up that one?

  What I want to know is WHY a movie like THIS gets made in the 1930’s

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah5FYfom_uw

  And DOESN’T get made today.

• 24 Ira Shlamazel // Nov 12, 2009 at 7:15 pm

  I think the over-saturation of super-buff bodies we have today makes the old beefcake pictures and films seem more attractive. The natural man.

  It is odd being turned on by someone who would be 101 today!

• 25 Ira Shlamazel // Nov 12, 2009 at 7:16 pm

  That was in response to DavidinBerkeley…

• 26 pal Jacky // Nov 15, 2009 at 1:59 pm

  When did Wanda Sykes become Moms Mabley?
  just because a women comes out she should shouldn’t stop wearing make up. I looked at ellen and her makeup ads and I used to say ‘what the fuck’ and now i’m wondering what horrors lie under her ‘l oreal’. Notice Rachel Maddow only does her make up ads only on Radio.

  I turned off Wanda last night and saw a preview of the new ’super dave’ show on spike. IF those who remember, “super dave’ was a stunt man whose cutting edge show from the mid eighties paved the way for cable classics such as ‘the sopranos’ and ‘mad men’. One of the guests on the show was Jillian Barberelli and it must have been filmed months ago because no sign of even a baby bump. let alone the grotesque pregasaurous she’s become in recent months. It wasn’t very good, but it has potential which is something more than can be said about anything else these days. When slightly humorous things like ‘the office’ and ‘modern family’ are touted as comedy gold there is trouble.
  I will hear nothing about that god awful self important”30 rock’ . We get it, Tina Fey did an excellent Sarah Pallid. enough already.
  Which brings me to the point of this post. the jeff dunham show was almost completely forgettable this week.
  Which is of course a great improvent on the ususal.
  I say ‘almost’ because he had his retarded puppet ‘peanut’ Rap. Jeff himself wore a ‘doo rag’ and break danced.
  Of course the usual thinly veiled rascist overtones were out in full force, but I’m becoming innured to them.
  Maybe Lenny Bruce was right about the n-word.

• 27 Ira Shlamazel // Nov 17, 2009 at 9:42 am

  To clarify, Super Dave was never a stunt man. He’s a comedian, and stunts gone wrong is his schtick.

  He is also Albert Brooks’ brother.

  Jacky, why such high hopes for the moron that is Jeff Dunham? His only real talent is the ability to perform ventriloquism while only having a double-digit IQ..

  You know, Carlos Mencia only white and with puppets.

• 28 FiFi La Bonbon // Nov 17, 2009 at 11:45 am

  i believe “what’s it to ya” may be another bob rivers work.

• 29 DavidinBerkeley // Nov 17, 2009 at 12:53 pm

  I can see I’m going to have to take charge to turn this discussion towards matters better suited to The Rachel Winchell Show.

  That said….

  [i]To diagnose pregnancy or check for infection, you’ve got to reach into a cow’s rectum and feel for the uterus, ovaries and stomach. Unfortunately, proper palpation is a tough skill to teach, because once your arm is buried inside a cow butt, no one can see what you’re doing.

  That’s why veterinarian and computer scientist Sarah Baillie has created the “Haptic Cow,” a virtual, touch-feedback device that mimics the feeling of real bovine anatomy, placed inside a fiberglass model of a cow’s rear end. [/i]

  http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2009/11/haptic-cow/

• 30 Ira Shlamazel // Nov 17, 2009 at 1:23 pm

  David, it’s worth it just for the picture alone. This device could keep a lot of rednecks out of trouble.

  (Like my mother often said,
  “I wonder if I can make soup out of this…”)

• 31 MichaelLTEL // Nov 17, 2009 at 2:33 pm

  DavidinBerkeley, I thought the janitor said it was the Rachel Winter Show in the promos.

• 32 pal Jacky // Nov 17, 2009 at 3:49 pm

  <>
  Which means Jeff dunham’s show is going to run for at least four seasons.

  The best thing about the new super dave is that his incompetent sidekick Fuji is back and dodders around with him.
  It wasn’t that it was really all that funny, it is just nice to laugh at T.V. once in awhile.
  Even ‘it is always funny in Philadelphia’ is more just laughing at dannyDevito reprising louie DePalma.
  When is someone going to put Matt and Trey out of their misery? It seems ever since ‘team america’ tanked they kind of have been phoning in ’south park’. Last week they took on the Lou dobbs, Keith Obermann, bill O’reilly type and it really should have been funny. Perhaps they were just taking on Glenn Beck, I haven’t seen enough of him solo to know if Cartman was specifically getting on him.

• 33 DavidinBerkeley // Nov 17, 2009 at 4:37 pm

  Ira: Please tell us more about what it is like to work for Elton John.

• 34 DavidinBerkeley // Nov 17, 2009 at 4:39 pm

  Michael: She probably asked him to flub it and say “Rachel Winter”, but instead he accidentally said it right.

• 35 RCoA // Nov 18, 2009 at 1:35 am

  Jacky, My understanding is that Albert Brooks’ brother Super Dave started in the mid-70s, regained popularity in mid-t0-late-80s, did a little Curb Your Enthusiasm out of character, then kinda re-appeared circa 2009/2010. So the character is not exactly a 1980s “phenomenon,” though maybe the 1980s was his most popular decade. I dunno.

  As for Jeff Dunham, with all the WTFs available on the internets, and within AW’s sphere of interest and influence, how did Jeff Dunham become the most interesting topic of discussion in this forum? I’m academically curious.

• 36 MichaelLTEL // Nov 18, 2009 at 2:50 pm

  RCoA, the Jeff Dunham tangent started in the Hiatus comments by pal Jacky’s post #10. It has since snowballed.

• 37 MichaelLTEL // Nov 18, 2009 at 2:54 pm

  There was wonderment and musing about what April was doing in her time away, and that nobody has seen Ms. Winchell and Mr. Dunham in the same room at the same time.

• 38 DavidinBerkeley // Nov 18, 2009 at 3:01 pm

  I shall continue to wrestle control of the website away from the Dunham-ites by posting the following:

  BE GLAD ITS NOT A GERBIL HOTEL

  For 99 euros (£88) a night, visitors to the hotel in Nantes can feast on hamster grain, get a workout by running in a giant wheel and sleep in hay stacks in the suite called the “Hamster Villa”.

  It is the latest venture from owners Frederic Tabary and Yann Falquerho, who run a company which rents out unusual venues to adventure-seekers. Both architects, the men designed the room in an 18th century building to resemble the inside of a hamster’s cage.

  http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/destinations/europe/france/centralfrance/6589449/French-hamster-hotel-lets-guests-live-like-rodents.html

• 39 DavidinBerkeley // Nov 18, 2009 at 3:02 pm

  And express eager anticipation of the pending AW announcement.

  And say that I’ve not given up on the you-know-what calendar.

• 40 Ira Shlamazel // Nov 18, 2009 at 3:17 pm

  oui oui!

• 41 Stretch99 // Nov 18, 2009 at 6:49 pm

  “Oh, Stretch, how much paid worktime did you use to think up that one? ”

  I figure – ” why should woodchucks have all the fun…”

• 42 dodgerbob123 // Nov 18, 2009 at 7:13 pm

  Welcome back. April!!

• 43 RCoA // Nov 18, 2009 at 9:54 pm

  Thanks MichaelLTEL! Peace to one and all.

• 44 DavidinBerkeley // Nov 19, 2009 at 12:30 pm

  “TREKKIE” IS THE NEW WEIRD

  http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2009/11/dinkytown_dad_s.php

  d’Armond Speers spoke only Klingon to his child for the first three years of its life.

  “I was interested in the question of whether my son, going through his first language acquisition process, would acquire it like any human language,” Speers told the Minnesota Daily. “He was definitely starting to learn it.”

  And get this, Speers says he isn’t really a huge Star Trek fan.

  We’ll take his word for it.

  Does the fact that Speers has a doctorate in computational linguistics explain anything — or excuse anything — here? Maybe. His child-rearing habits were part of a larger story on the company he advises, Ultralingua, which develops language and translation software. Including Klingon.

• 45 Stretch99 // Nov 19, 2009 at 1:00 pm

  K’plah hu-mon

• 46 pal Jacky // Nov 19, 2009 at 3:35 pm

  What do april and Jim Dunham have in common?
  PUPPETS. If this was Candance Bergen’s blog I would accuse her of being Jim dunham.

  As I said in a previous thread there is a big differnce between the comedy of Carlos mencia and Jim Dunham.
  Carlos mencia is stupid, obvious and ever so slightly ‘politcally incorrect’ and he makes a big thing about that last fact. Truth is if you need to keep telling your audince that you are ‘politcally incorrect’(or ‘cutting edge’ etc.) you are not.

  Jim Dunham is a thinly veiled racist. What he can’t cover up the his stupid and racists fans think is Politically incorrect and they laugh and laugh.

  Yes, both are dreadful, but it is a difference that should be noted.

• 47 pal Jacky // Nov 19, 2009 at 3:41 pm

  of course, I meant Jeff dunham above. It is Thursday afternoon andMy repression of him is almost complete.
  Don’t worry tonight’s show will bring the terror back into my soul. Some people jump out of airplanes to feel alive. I watch bad television. Is there really that much of a difference?

• 48 pal Jacky // Nov 19, 2009 at 3:44 pm

  PS since april is not steering us in any direction right now, I think anyone who doesn’t like the tangents that have been brought up can kindly start their own. Bitching and moaning that April isn’t around doesn’t cut it.

• 49 Stretch99 // Nov 19, 2009 at 5:20 pm

  What a coincedence: I started my Xmas shopping at Tangent

  Merry Chrismahanakwazaka

• 50 DavidinBerkeley // Nov 19, 2009 at 7:49 pm

  AW’s Titter says she has something that she will simul-announce with “the WSJ.”

  Huh??? The Waukegan Science Journal? The Willamot Secretarial Junket? :0)

• 51 dodgerbob123 // Nov 20, 2009 at 9:30 am

  First.! Congrats, Helen.

• 52 PeekaBooRevue // Nov 20, 2009 at 9:30 am

  HOLY SHIT!

• 53 Tom // Nov 20, 2009 at 9:45 am

  First the real author of Secret Diary of a Call Girl reveals herself and now this?!!! I can’t wait to find out who really wrote Going Rogue.

• 54 Stretch99 // Nov 20, 2009 at 1:51 pm

  … I have a hard enough time waiting for Santa to come …

  I CAN’T WAIT APRIL!!!

• 55 pal Jacky // Nov 20, 2009 at 3:34 pm

  right like this is really the big announcement.
  Obviously her ‘craft’ segment of the martha stewart show has turned her psychotic.
  Let us pray that she gets the help she needs before she has a complete reality break and lands on the top floor of cedar Sinai. Or worse yet she herself ‘goes rogue’ and ends up getting sentenced to the state hospital in Norwalk.

• 56 Stretch99 // Nov 20, 2009 at 5:11 pm

  Pal Jacky is jelous he didn’t think of it first…

  CONGRATS APRIL

• 57 nylasor // Nov 20, 2009 at 6:14 pm

  DavidinBerkeley, did you mean “wrest” control?

  I keep seeing conrats to April, but I don’t know for what. Am I missing something?

• 58 nylasor // Nov 20, 2009 at 6:15 pm

  I meant “congrats.” That’s what I get for questioning someone else’s word choice, huh?

• 59 nylasor // Nov 20, 2009 at 6:23 pm

  Ohhhhhhhhh, I get it. I know how to surf the Interwebs! I thought some of those comments by Helen Killer sounded comfortably familiar! There aren’t two people with April’s sense of humor. It all seems so obvious now!

• 60 Nusa // Nov 20, 2009 at 7:55 pm

  Pure Genius! April redirected her quality crap from here to prop up her secret identity on another site. And then she sold the idea to unsuspecting publishers for a bag of quality green toilet paper with individual serial numbers!

  Can I use your bathroom?

• 61 pal Jacky // Nov 21, 2009 at 12:07 pm

  perhaps we should be a little more sympathetic.
  Maybe she has already spent time in a lock down ward.
  Perhaps on ‘lanyard’ day she came up with this idea.
  Her mental fitness might depend on our support.

• 62 PeekaBooRevue // Nov 21, 2009 at 12:26 pm

  are you gonna sell signed copies?

• 63 John Foley // Nov 21, 2009 at 12:56 pm

  Hey Pal Jacky, do you list “Pissing in everyone’s cornflakes” on your résumé?

• 64 AKScott // Nov 21, 2009 at 2:35 pm

  Damn. I read this blog, and I read Regretsy, and it never dawned on me. Go, April!

• 65 DavidinBerkeley // Nov 21, 2009 at 3:28 pm

  Congratulations, Ms. Winchell! I’m very happy for you.

  This means, folks, she’ll be doing a book tour! Get out your Sharpies, folks!

• 66 DavidinBerkeley // Nov 21, 2009 at 3:29 pm

  Being now in the publishing game means she’s one step closer to getting that Speedo calendar in print.

• 67 DavidinBerkeley // Nov 21, 2009 at 3:31 pm

  I’m also glad she announced it because I was getting tired of looking for the Walla-Walla Simian Junta.

• 68 PeekaBooRevue // Nov 22, 2009 at 5:57 am

  P.S. Happy Belated John

• 69 pal Jacky // Nov 22, 2009 at 10:06 am

  i’ll go back to pissing in everyone ELSE’s cornflakes.

  Seriously, I thought it was understood by now I often ‘tease because I love’ since saying nice congratulatory
  words don’t come easy.
  if I wasn’t happy for April, spent time on the new site or was looking forward to the book(hopefully loits of my chirstmas shopping for next year) I would sulk off silently.

• 70 pal Jacky // Nov 22, 2009 at 2:20 pm

  http://www.examiner.com/x-28599-Crime–Media-Examiner~y2009m11d20-Man-arrested-for-paying-teens-to-spit-in-his-face
  Most of the kids in my neighborhood does this kind of stuff for free.

• 71 Stretch99 // Nov 23, 2009 at 10:53 am

  “This means, folks, she’ll be doing a book tour! Get out your Sharpies, folks!”

  April can sign my rack ANYTIME…

  (now take me out with a bong hit and a GRACIAS)

• 72 adorisday // Nov 23, 2009 at 10:41 pm

  April should ask Lindsay Lohan or an Ungaro discounter for her last collection. I’m sure it would sell on Regretsy…

• 73 Ira Shlamazel // Nov 24, 2009 at 11:14 pm

  DavidinBerkeley -

  Forms were signed, surfaces were wiped, secrets will be kept.

  More importantly, there is money POD.

• 74 Stretch99 // Nov 25, 2009 at 2:32 pm

  ***JUST IN TIME FOR THANKSGIVING***

  What is the difference between a hamster and a gerbil…?

  A. there is more dark meat on na hamster…:-p

• 75 DavidinBerkeley // Nov 30, 2009 at 12:30 pm

  Ira: I’m not following you.

• 76 DavidinBerkeley // Nov 30, 2009 at 12:31 pm

  It’s almost December. Where’s the pictures of Mac at Halloween?

• 77 DavidinBerkeley // Nov 30, 2009 at 3:41 pm

  NM has the gall to charge $70 for Mac & Cheese:

  http://www.neimanmarcus.com/store/catalog/prod.jhtml?itemId=prod97030076&eItemId=prod97030076&cmCat=search&searchType=MAIN&parentId=&icid=&rte=%252Fsearch.jhtml%253FN%253D0%2526Ntt%253Dmacaroni%252Band%252Bcheese%2526_requestid%253D38935

  Then I read that they’re charging just as much FOR A FRIKKIN’ GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE:

  http://www.neimanmarcus.com/store/catalog/prod.jhtml?itemId=prod97030075&eItemId=prod97030075&cmCat=search&searchType=MAIN&parentId=&icid=&rte=%252Fsearch.jhtml%253FN%253D0%2526Ntt%253Dgreen%252Bbean%252Bcasserole%2526_requestid%253D38921