I went through a period where I couldn’t get enough court shows.
Judge Mathis, Judge Joe Brown, Judge Mills Lane, Judge Hatchett, Judge Wapner, Judge Mablean, Judge Alex… I would have watched Judge Reinhold if he had a show. And that’s saying something.
Eventually, I got tired of it all. The hokey catch phrases, the forced attempts at being a hard ass, the lapsing into Spanish every ten seconds and talking about notarized tongues and paying for the hot chocolate. It just got old.
But there was one judge who always kept me interested. Judge Judy.
“Interested” is maybe too casual of a word. This is love. I even love the reruns: the eBay scammer, the woman who sued the cop for giving her a ticket, the woman whose hair fell out after the bad perm. I know them by heart and I could still see them again.
People ask me what it is about her that I like so much, and all I can really say is, I enjoy watching stupid people get punished. There’s just something so satisfying about watching someone with intelligence and authority put the smack down on some idiot who’s really asking for it.
In any case, the unimaginable happened in September of 2009: I actually got to meet her.
I wasn’t expecting a whole lot, to be honest. I thought I might get to watch a case or two, and possibly get an autograph. But to my amazement, I wound up spending several hours with the judge in her dressing room, talking about politics, mothers, movies, shopping and Gin Rummy. And after seeing my engagement ring, she even gave me some advice about pre-nups.
And if that wasn’t enough glamour, I was invited to sit in the front row of the audience for two cases, which means you’ll actually see my pale and sweating face when they air that episode.
And to put the icing on the torte*, I even had lunch with her honor. I was invited into the dining room and I had salad, green beans and chicken. They had corn on the cob and ribs too, but I didn’t trust my hand-eye coordination for that one. Plus I thought I’d get food in my teeth and look like an even bigger starstruck hillbilly.
Now, I don’t want to say too much more, because Judge Judy was very candid and relaxed with me. And I thought that was gracious, considering I am nobody and likely to remain that way. So I don’t want to be rude by spilling everything all over my blog.
But I will tell you that she wears a tank top and jeans under her robe, and she’s built like a brick courthouse.
*Law humor
UPDATE 2/4/13: The episode aired that fall, and I was able to get a photo of me and Martha Plimpton in the front row, trying very hard not to laugh.
Sometimes trying not to laugh makes me cry too.
“I enjoy watching stupid people get punished”
Everyone needs a motto, or a catchphrase – if April doesn’t claim this as hers then I call next.
I would put that on my car as a bumper sticker. But then I’d probably get in an accident and die a slow death as all of the smugness drove by.
I just couldn’t agree more with you April and I’m so jealous that you got to see her (if that really Martha BTW?)
In fact, I even know this case – I remember all of them, as I’m an equally avid (read: sick) watcher. This woman was saying that her brother was right in her face and he ‘touched her nose with his’ which was her basis for then hitting him. In the end, I wasn’t too sure that Judy got this one right (shocking) because the brother (in post-interview) said something to effect of having to put women in their place occassionally and from his testimony it was obvious that he thought he was the Alpha dog no matter what. I was surprised that Judy didn’t tease that out more and put the smack down on him!
I also keep looking for Judy cross stitch crafts ever since I saw yours!!
Yes, that really is Martha Plimpton. She also has a serious Judge Judy jones, so we were both out of our minds with joy. It was a great day.
So, since I’ve met you, does that mean I’m only 2 degrees of separation from Judge Judy?
I hope one day you can be on an episode of Raising Hope just so they can use these photos.
The world needs to see this.
I too, would really like to see an April/Martha team.
Many years ago, my roommate and I had to sue our former landlord for our security deposit. We turned down the offer to do so on Judge Joe Brown, but I still have the letter they sent. It was the most glorious piece of mail I have ever received.
A few years later, I saw a former classmate on Judge Judy, being sued by her ex over a CD player or some such nonsense. She won. It was glorious.
But your story is… Gloriouser.
I saw this in Harrah’s Casino in Atlantic City. Perhaps there’s one in a casino near you.
HOLY SHIT
Sustained.
Aaaaaaaad, there goes all April’s money. Justice always gets served, in the end.
A voice in my head told me to investigate whether this website had reanimated. And indeed it has. I’ve got to learn to stop questioning that voice in my head and simply obey.
The tag says my comment is awaiting moderation. I didn’t realize I’d said anything immoderate.
I’m cracking up watching you try not to crack up.
I imagine you were making a whimpering noise while making that face.
I love a good suppressed laugh! I love out loud in your face laughs also, but that face is fantastic!
I am so Kermit! JJ is my current Fantasy Mother. She’d be firm but no bullshit, super sensible but NEVER boring. My mother was firm, paranoid, crazy – an absolute freaking lunatic.
Lucky, lucky you!
Oh, and I’d happily convert to being a J-peep too if JJS would have me as her adopted daughter.
I showed her my legs once.
Anyone here got a link to this episode?